Take This Thing Back to Baltimore

2019-01-02                   ©hocolate                 Or, stay©ation, Day Ten, ‘too much’ your man ©in the humble(d) / humiliated narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and ©hocolate said it better to the new-ish dental hygienist at well, the dentist – before during and after being cinstructed to wash out his mouth with, well, mouthwash, which didn’t do much good for his fragile / ego (hooker please -id.) – and ap®opos the one-day break that ©in was after taking from his fourteen-day cinsecutive stay©ation that he’s been after taking at his M and P’s place in the country on the Quebe© side be©ause failu®e / to laun©h, and comparing notes with the dental hygienist, who had been playing trading-G®andma from Newfoundland back-and-forth with her brother over Ch®istmas break,   ‘of a good / thing’, to...

2014-10-15           Peeping / Tom                   Behold / the (f) / (b) / (s) / logger, innit It.   He riseth up early in the morning - we were expecting visitors today up in here in the ©indominium, innit you little monsters, you / ©ats, for to check the 'stack', according to the ©indominium Elevator News bulletin, and Cin had to employ the full array of his domestic hahaharsenal; the Vileda broom; the swiffer wet pads; the poor man's electronic / electric Vileda floor sweeper; the cat litter mats, into the washing machine, 'one prophylactic', the exiting guard in John Landis' The Blues Brothers says it better of John Belushi's 'Joliet' Jake Blues's said possession upon Jake’s release from Joliet prison, 'soiled'; for to make the place presentable and avoid the Burlap Sack for you two little monsters - mighty are / his preparations.    ...

2014-10-10          Gorky Park                   'So that's why', Homer Simpson says it better before during and after finding out that his wife Marge is 1/16 th / black - misinterpreting / the findings, and his next leap / of logic both -   'I get paid less than my white / counterparts'.   It's a funny joke, trading off an offensive premise, a funny joke playing off an offensive premise is all / we gots.                 'We come from a long line,' Homer says it better earlier in the same 'family-tree' episode, 'of horse thieves, horse traders, thieving horses, and' - and here his voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper for effect, this next one by far the worst of the nefarious occupations / so far - 'alcoholics'.   It's a funny joke, trading off an offensive premise...

2018-12-31               Me-noi®   ‘©h®istmas’ the goose in Babe / the movie squacks it better, innit Ele©t®ified J©, be©ause about to get / cooked, 'is ©a®nage’, a goose about to get / cooked   is all / we gots. Yes dea® ®eade®(s) it’s that time of year again where we make all kind of New Year’s ®esolutions be©ause our goose is about to get / cooked.   Leading the pack as always in no particular order are no®malizing our ®elations, balan©ing our books, and as always, w®iting / mo®e, w®iting / mo®e is all / we gots. Good times, along with videeing parts of Babe / the movie, your man ©in the humble(d) / humiliated narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moi®s and me-noi® - ‘it’s not dark yet’ Bob Dylan sings it better in his song of the same name, ‘but it’s getting there’ – also videed parts of Darkest Hour, that hagiography of your man Winson Churchill that earned your man G...