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2019-01-02 ©hocolate


2019-01-02                  ©hocolate

                Or, stay©ation, Day Ten, ‘too much’ your man ©in the humble(d) / humiliated narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and ©hocolate said it better to the new-ish dental hygienist at well, the dentist – before during and after being cinstructed to wash out his mouth with, well, mouthwash, which didn’t do much good for his fragile / ego (hooker please -id.) – and ap®opos the one-day break that ©in was after taking from his fourteen-day cinsecutive stay©ation that he’s been after taking at his M and P’s place in the country on the Quebe© side be©ause failu®e / to laun©h, and comparing notes with the dental hygienist, who had been playing trading-G®andma from Newfoundland back-and-forth with her brother over Ch®istmas break,  ‘of a good / thing’, too much of a good / thing is all / we gots.

            Course the last dental hygienist broke / his heart, ‘he didn’t’ he ©indistinctly remembers her saying to the dental office receptionist in full hearing, before during and after his first  – and se©ond / to last - visit, ‘bite’.  Course it takes some doing to go on and on and on with the small talk at the dentist’s office, ‘that’s’ ©in said it better this morning, before during and after the hygienist pulled out this tube and blasted cold air into the upper reaches of his big fat mouth (that’s enough -id.), ‘a new one’, a comment that elicited no reaction / whatsoever, eliciting no reaction / whatsoever is all / we gots. 

            Good times, dentist®y only slightly less awkward than this film that ©in is after videeing now of this WTFednesday evening and Day Ten of Stay©ation 2018-2019.  One of his many New Year’s pe®ennial (re)®esolutions is to cull and curate like millennials do the pe®manent DVD collection from the ©indominium in O-Town, the entirety of which has somehow made its way out here to his adoles©ent bedroom ©hez their M and P be©ause ‘b®anchless’ the Chinese have it better for ©ingletons living la vida lo©a and thug life, ‘t®ee’.

            Lars and the ®eal Gi®l – translated well for a change as ‘Lars et l’Amou® en Boite’ – is the story of a country bumpkin and his sex doll Bian©a, ‘Ivanhoe’ Bart Simpson says it better during one of his episodes, before during and after trying and failing to pass off a book report of the classic ®ussian novel of the same name, one of many books that Bart never / read and never / will, ‘the story of a ®ussian farmer and his / tool’, l’Amou® en Boite is all / we gots.

            ‘Does she have’ one of the lo©als akses it better of Lars’ sex doll Bian©a, ‘a / sister ?’, it’s one of the many good lines that lend themselves to the premise of a movie like this one, though to be fair there are no other movies / like this one, no other movies / like this one is all / we gots.

            Course soon enough  all of the lo©als are after treating Bian©a – who is hot be©ause sex doll (hooker please -id.), and pushed around town in a wheelchair, for no discernible reason other than plot advancement, by Lars, played in the movie by Ryan Gosling – as though she were one of / the family be©ause th®ee-hankie ®om-©om, hot sex dolls (that’s enough -id.) is all / we gots.

             Good times – ‘no catastrophes’ ©in quipped it better to the ladies of the dentist’ offi©e, to do discernible effect, ap®opos going on an on and on about this WTFednesday being the 2nd day of J-te®m 2019 and all, ‘so / far’ – and good movie, the lo©als’ reactions to Bian©a before during and after she is wheeled to a lo©al ©h®istmas pa®ty (you think ©h®istmas is over but there are no end of fugly ©h®istmas sweaters in this one, innit Ele©t®ified J©) by Lars reflect on their characters in the film, no catastrophes / so far is all / we gots.

            And make no mistake Ryan Gosling is a movie sta®, the role of Lars requires no end of shame and pain and yes, delusion - and Gosling nails them all - before during and after the cinevitable eleven o’clock number in the movie where catharsis comes pardon the pun in spades, and Lars returns to the human / race, no end of shame and pain and yes, delusion is all / we gots.

Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Chocolate.

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