Sep 9, 2025 no / expectations

 Sep 9, 2025 no / expectations

‘So take me to / the airport / and put me on / the train / I got no expectations ‘ Mick and the rest of the Stones wail it better it better in the(ir) 50th anniversary reverse Dear John letter / Mick-style - or ‘John Deere letter’ as the rocket scientist played by Jim Carrey in the immor(t)al movie Dumb and Dumber calls it better - and tune of the same name by way of Spotify.inc, ‘to pass this way / again’, the streaming music that five-lettered worldle of (t)his I have a jury trial on Tuesday evening serving for (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take THis THing Back to Balti-memoires and no / expectations as tonic as we do to the literal horror and not in a good way of just having videed The Conjuring / Last Rites at the O-Town Cineplex Cinema because why / not, the marathon of a movie exorcised if that’s / the word (hooker please, -id.) and somewhat redeemed by its’ book-ended soundtrack of The Cult’s She Sells Sanctuary at the beginning and (y)our (Irish)man Van the Man Morrison’s immortal hymn Comfort You at the merciful end of the Mass (that’s enough, -id.) two and a half hours that he’ll never get / back later - literal horror and not in a good way is all / we gots.

What it is in The Conjuring Part 666 (hooky please, -id.) is that (y)our (wo)men the members of the - five, four, three, two, one - Warren (?) clan, the family that exorcises together stays / together, are after trying and failing to retire as we do from the ghost-hunting profession because the father, as played by the actor Patrick Wilson winning because married to Vera Parmisiana in the franchise having strokes morning noon and night due to all of the possessed items kept in the(ir) (wo)man-cave always trying and sometimes succeeding in escaping from the same because bathos, most sinisterly of course the doll Annabelle and that damn mirror from back in the 17th possessed before during and after that Masshole in Salem buried his axe into his (s)mother-in-law’s and stoved his wife’s head both because witches, innit Brassaplaooza, cinisterly is all / we gots.

Course all franchises have an origin story these days, and the fetching Warren - no Einstein, the Warrens was the Amityville couple, innit? - id. - couple so familiar to us all now after the first three films and the last three hours turns out to have a daughter as well, who knew ! and equally as fetch that five-lettered wordle, or anyway when she isn’t after hurling blood and glass shards as we do from that cursed Salem witch hunt trials mirror from back in the 18th into the kitchen sink and / or threatening her (s)mother as we do with ex-communication and / worse because handsome / is as handsome / does, ‘do you know what she did ?’, (y)our (de)mon Captain Howdy occupying Linda Blair’s Regan McNeil at the time akses Ellen Bursytn’s Chris McNeil and Regan’s (s)mother better in the original and still / the best and GOAT  / Greatest of All TIme exorcism story and film directed by William Friedkin and based on the immor(t)al novel by William Peter Blatty , ‘ your cunting / daughter ? ‘, hurling blood and glass shards is all / we gots.

And lest we forget here’s the hopeful son-in-law to be in the film - and driving a Dodge El Camino to boot because roomy enough to transport that damned damned three-headed mirror from the Salem witch trials, (t)his choice of vehicle a nice / touch from the ‘80s and almost redeeming the erstwhile ex-cop the(ir) future son in-law character, innit JMo, and who quit the force before during and after having the shotgun pointed point blank at his face misfire as part of a domestic dispute call gone / sideways as we do and now thinks that he’s ‘ dead ‘ that four-lettered word according to his eleven o’clock number in the movie - trying to get down / the pants of the Warren’s daughter, herself ‘stillborn’ but still somehow alive that five-lettered wordle as we do according to her Da, played by Patrick Wilson (y)our (brother of Aqua)man Prince Who’s it from the Marvel multiverse or whatnot, by putting put a ring on her finger as we do, even aksing the out-laws for permission beforehand at around two hour twenty of the film, a classy / move, and even showing them the ring, ‘where’d you get that’, (y)our GOAT (bar)man Mas aksed you better before during and after you showed us the wedding ring that you bought for Doc back in the naughties, innit Flash, or anyway a picture of it because safer from us goons, ‘Shopper’s Drug Mart?’, the outlaws is all / we gots. 

Course ‘that’s why god’, (y)our man Cin says it to who(m)ever will listen, innit god - and apropos how-to-survive-all of the holidays-Hallmark-and-otherwise-as-a-singleton and-branchless-tree as the Chinese -have-it-better (hooker please, -id.) as we do - ‘invented / weed’ that four-lettered word, but there’s not enough weed in O-Town, and these days that’s / plenty because legalize(d) it !, to get painlessly through a movie whose twists and turns he maintains are all over / the place, ‘I know guys on crack’, (y)our man Doctor Evil says it better to Austin Powers in one of the Mike Myers vehicles and film franchises  of the same name, ‘that makes more sense / than you’, though he surely tries, verging on blooming a new addiction as we do by listening to (y)our (wo)men his new besties the budtenders of O-Town with their voluminous selection, and buying at very reasonable rates leaf that used to be 5 %  back in the 20th when we started smoking it morning noon and night down at Club Midd in the 802 but now apparent Lee and alleged Lee with the pre-rolls today hit 30 % easy and slow down Cheech and Chong, innit Brassapalooza, ‘did that’ (y)our man Chong akses his bestie Cheech better In Up in Smoke before during and after the pair’s all-hemp van gets smoked up by the CHIPS motorcycle cop in that movie and then the cop lets / them off as we do(n’t), ‘really / happen?’,  a cingleton is all / we gots.

Still and all you root for (y)our (wo)men the film’s protagonist(a)s the Warrens as we do, a ‘ millionaire’s family ‘ as the slogan has it for a nuclear family of four - or anyway the three Warrens plus the El Camino-driving soon-to-be son-out-law - better, and as much as the latest Conjuring film marathon bills itself as ‘the Last Rite’ and all / that, none of the group, or the grotesque reflections of themselves and their fugly alter egos or whatnot that the audience get to video reflected in the film’s eleven o’clock number before during and after the lot of them try and fail and try and fail and then try and finally succeed in smashing that bewitched cracked mirror that belonged to that axe-wielding Masshole  from back in the 18th in Brassachusetts innit Brassapalooza, end up dead that four-lettered word, and as a result surely more Conjurings will surely be conjured as we do from the cauldrons of Hollyweird because profit centres, ‘this is the most egregious case your honour’, the lawyer for (y)our (uber)man Homer J. Simpson claims it better in that episode of The Simpsons before during and after closing arguments in Homer’s cinfamous case against the seafood restaurant for offering an ‘all-you-can’ eat’ buffett that never even came / close because insatiable, because almost the end of (t)his I have a jury trial Tuesday night and the end of (t)his shift of hulk-smashing away at (t)his Take This THing Back to Balti-memoires and no / expectations both  ‘since the film The Never-Ending Story’, cinsatiable is all / we gots. 

Thank you for reading (t)his Take THis THing Back to Balti-memoires and John Deere letter.