2020-01-11 Barbarella
And we’ll throw in A Doll’s House / for free, Barbarella and A Doll’s House
both of course part of the Jane Fonda series on the criterioncollection.com
(free! flog, (y)our man Cin has lost the taste - for now - of the likes of that
Netflix.com early morning movie today about warring gangs in L.A., The Tax Collector
it was, and violent too even for an early morning I Guess It Was a
Good(Tues)day, “I guess it was a good day’ (y)our man Ice Cube raps it better
in his .mp3 of the same name, ‘I didn’t have to use / my AK’), from the ‘Now
Playing’ menu and part of Day 11 of this year’s J-term film festival of a course,
you’re never too old / to get more learnt good, A
Doll’s House / for free is all / we gots.
What it is in A Doll’s House - based on an Ibsen play of
the same name, (y)our man CIn the humble(d) narrator of this Take This Thing
Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Barberella used to be a little more /
literate, when on an I Guess It Was a Good (Tues)day evening he would be god
forbid reading, innit god, instead of hulk-smashing away at the same - is that
(y)our (wo)men the protagonist(a)s of the same are after making / mischief
morning noon and night in Scandinavia, though the actors playing the Ibsen
characters are American and English, Jane Fonda wisely trying no accent / at
all, and the English actor David Warner the dude who played the photographer in
The Omen, getting it
immor(t)ally in that film when the sheet of glass shears his head right / off,
a little more / literate is all / we gots.
Course as much as we Cinadians (hooker please -id.) go on and on
and on about Trumpy and them and our
riotous neighbors to the South - ‘it’s like living in the upstairs
apartment’ someone described our countries’ geographies and qualities better,
‘on top of the house having the best parties’ - and along with the rest of the
world unbeehovingly watch as they self-ommulate (little help?
self-immoluate ? self-immolate ?) morning noon and night, in truth we’re much
closer to / the Scandinavians, and yes, maybe even the Russians, ‘they kill
every mice and sparrow / on the branch’ (y)our (wo)man the(ir) Russian
neighbor, one of a pair known of course as ‘the Russians’, said it better
apropos the local fauna kilt by the proliferation of feral pandemoniacats up in
here, and she’s right, our riotous neighbors to the South is all / we gots.
With mad / time on their hands - and a (s)mother-fucking
‘buffering’ circle at criterion.com because folks if you can’t sustain a
connection, yes, like Netflix sustains / a connection, then you can’t sell /
your service - (y)our (wo)men the protagonistas in A Doll’s House
go on and on and on about the locals, ‘are you mad ?’ the English actress
playing Jane Fonda’s character’s BFF in the film akses it better, or at least
that what would seem to make / sense, if not for / the buffering, ‘processing’
(y)our (wo)manager at work that four-lettered word says it better before during
and after putting on her thinking / cap, ‘processing’, buffering is all / we
gots.
Course no one is holding a gun to (t)his head and forcing him to
videe criterioncollection.com -
‘send an e-mail’ Megan
Fox’s character says it better in the film Jennifer’s Body , to
her BFF as played by Amanda
Siegfried ,’ to no one / cares.org ‘ - but
thank god it exists, innit god, though you gots to get to the movies on the Now
Playing menu right / quick, (y)our man Cin getting to half of the films from
the ‘70s horror movie marathon from last week / year / ©intury (hooker please
-id.) before during and after criterioncollection.com
pulled / the films altogether, though to be sure they’ll be videed / again
because curfews and stay-at-home orders and pandemoniumemic Miss ‘Rona that
fugly bug the mist that four-lettered word, innit Mr. King, no one /
cares.org is all / we gots.
It’s frosty in and around The Doll’s House - from the looks
of it this might have been one of those TV movies from back in the 20th - and
the Scandinavian children sled up and down morning noon and night, sledding
good times heading / up the hill and then / down, it’s life that four
lettered-word and one of its’ little lessons encapsulated, in and on a TV movie
of all places.
‘The toboggan run’ (y)our (wo)man Jane Fonda calls it more grandly
in the movie, all of the terribly / bourgeois Scandinavians in the film
travelling by fur-covered dog-sleds and it’s actually a good movie - ‘action’
(y)our man Cin begins and ends his current requirement of movies / to videe,
‘packed’ - ‘the gun on the mantle introduced in Act One’ (y)our man Chekhov
or Ibsen wrote it better ’must be used by Act / Three’, action-packed is
all / we gots.
Course it’s quiet outside / as a crypt, (y)our (wo)man the curfew
refusing all / travel after 8 PM because Miss ‘Rona the pandemic Mist that
four-lettered word, innit Mr. King, ‘when you left me, it was as though’ one of
the he-whores (hooker please -id.) says it better in A Doll’s House -
it’s a nice / line and the whole film well-translated, ‘the ground had been
swept / away from my feet’, a nice / line is all / we gots, ‘and life has
taught me’ (y)our man the same Scandinavian says it better, ‘to mistrust fine /
words’.
And as it (w) / (sh) / © ouldn’t be The Omen without
Davd Warner’s photographer’s head being cleaved straight / off (that’s enough
-id.), it wouldn’t be a Jane Fonda marathon on criterion.com without Jane doing
some serious Acting because Ibsen, ‘have a good look at her’, Warner’s
character says it better in A Doll’s House apropos the same, ‘isn’t she
/ pretty ? ‘, he’s a good actor, playing Tarbol, and one of the many so far in
this J-Term criterion.com ‘films of Jane Fonda’ marathon so far sharing / the
screen with Hanoi Jane, Tarbol castrating / himself in this scene where they’re
all arseholed, dressed up for the costume ball and just like in COVD times, wearing
a mask that four-lettered word, some serious Acting is all / we gots.
Go(o)d times, innit go(o)d, this quaint comedy / of manners builds
up to an eleven o’clock number before during and after which all of the
he-whore lawyers in the village (hooker please -id., it’s a Hallmark movie)
blackmail each other morning noon and night, going on and on and on about how
everyone else is after ruining / their honour and all that, like (y)our man Trumpy
- and quite possible Cin / too - narcissists and with precious egos, innit -id,
closer to the truth is that ‘successful people’ someone said it better, ‘get
over / things’, precious egos is all / we gots.
Course god knows what month / year / planet we’re in / on these
days, innit god, but A Doll’s House falls into the Christmas movie
category too, joining such diehard Christmas films as Die Hard and Black
Christmas, (y)our (wo)men the protagonistas running around the Doll’s House
towards the end and having nasty little terribly / bourgeois bougey Christmas /
scenes, ‘if it didn’t exist’ (y)our man Cin says it better of the epic / dramas
that yearly make up the Twelve Days of Christmas, innit Electrified JC, ‘we’d have
/ to ((c))invent it’, Black Christmas is all / we gots.
‘Sit down’ Fonda’s wife says it better to her soon-to-be was-band,
‘Torbald’, before during and after delivering him a Scandinavian version of a
Dear John letter, innit Johnny Mo, only delivered vocally, the two going
on and on and on about how they don’t love each other any more and all / that,
‘I have the strength’, (y)our man David Warner’s Tobalt apes Pacino’s Michael
Corleone in Coppola’s The Godfather Part Two better, and when a
man resorts to that line, he’s lost, ‘to change’ - better ‘I changed’, Eddie
Vedder sings it better in Pearl Jam’s reflection in a window, ‘by not changing
/ at all’ - and so ends A Doll’s House, losing is all / we gots,
‘try,’ (y)our man Samuell Beckett knows life’s only / lesson better,
‘fail. Try again, fail / better’, failing / better is all / we gots.
What it is in Barberella is that (y)our (wo)man the
eponymous character as played by Jane Fonda travels all over the universe
morning noon and night, going full / monty in the James Bond-like opening
sequence, replete with her own theme song to boot, it’s a fantastic movie, ‘the
universe’ Barberella says it better of the dangers posed by (y)our man the
villain of the piece, Duran Duran (hooker please -id., oh wait, what ?), ‘has
been pacified / for centuries’, Barberella is all / we gots.
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