Jun 7, 2025 Off / the pole .

Jun 7, 2025          Off / the pole .

 

For the latter part of the(ir) Dirty Thirty Year Shiretown College reunion - another Saturday Night and I Ain’t Got Nobody (hooker please, -id.) - ‘hours’, (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and off / the pole that four-lettered word said it better to his classmates and host better, ‘of sitting / around’ before during and after the dinner and music afterwards, and so cinstead it’s after hulk-smashing away at the same that (y)our man will be after doing, and before during and after ‘I’ll see you’ he threat-promised (y)our men his classmates and host JMT and Brassapalooza earlier better ‘when the music / starts’, the music is all / we gots.

 

Course it damn near came down to one of the(se) truncated-by-drama that five-lettered wordle week-ends up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in the 802 - though without / the drama, or at least in comparison with some of / the others - before during and after (y)our man Cin earlier of (t)his Saturday after before during and after it becomes ANother Sadurday Night and I Ain’t Got Nobody ran out of his week-end supply of darts (Marlboro Reds when up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in the 802 (free! flog) for the occasion(s)) and cintemplated heading home / North to Luksvegas on the Quebec side because trop beaucoup, innit Brassapalooza, though fortunately your arrival of your home as host just-in-time and accompanied as we do by JMT prevented an early departure.  ‘I talked to my doctor about it’, (y)our man a fellow-wedding guest said it better to (y)our man Cin back in the naughties and apropos the same and how he was pretty sure that had developed a heart murmur or whatnot because wheezy at / the wedding, ‘and he goes ‘what do you think is going / to happen, when you smoke two packs of cigarettes / a day ?’’, wheezy is all / we gots.

 

 ‘I got greasy looks / galore’, (y)our man and classmate and college Rugby Club teammate Captain Substance said it better earlier and apropos his own Early Morning Dew smoke break this mo(u)rning outside of the student dorms that double as two hundred dollars a night alumni rooms for these summer reunions, before during and after checking in late last night as we do on the inside of the camper part of the camper-trailer combo that he had driven to the campus from further East in Vermont - and the ostensible bedroom for his wife for the night - and finding it / empty, greasy looks / galore is all / we gots.

 

Course ‘I don’t understand’, (y)our man the original Captain Substance - and the recently-graduated at the time former on-field captain of the(ir) Shiretown College rugby club team back in the 20th, and who by-the-way also gave the best pre-match exhortation to his squad of all of the (m)any number that (y)our man Cin has audeed over the (m)any number of years when he yelled ‘I want you to DIE FOR ME !’ as we do - said it better to (y)our man JMT before during and after the first scrum of that year’s Alumni Match, ‘how someone who’s been kicked out / twice can still be / an undergraduate’, and in truth JMT and (y)our man Cin both graduated if that’s the word in years that did not end in a ‘5’, as the reunions seem to be organized these days because linear, but who come to reunions because emo and in JMT’s case married to a 1994 graduate, innit D, emo is all / we gots.

 

“I work the job’, (y)our man and teammate from back in the 20th Horace mansplained the same better last night - before during and after being aksed by (y)our man Cin ‘how you pay / the bills, if you don’t mind me / aksing’ because you never / know, and having volunteered earlier in the conversation that he and his wife have two teenage daughters - ‘to keep them off / the pole’.  ‘Horace, Horace’ went the Rugby Hymn chorus back in those days - thirty years ago ! -  and created in his honour because game for it, and, depending on whether he had mangled up the previous verse, or worse made it / boring, ended with ‘Horace he is boring / us’, or conversely and much better for the ego ending with ‘Horace he is glorious !’ when spirits were up and / or the occasion called / for it, off/ the pole is all / we gots.

 

Course when you’re after being old / as dirt as  we do a person can wander around the Shiretown campus a little easier of an evening during reunion because kids made-up or real to put to bed made-up or real without being recognized as an involuntary participant in the Walk of Shame that five-lettered wordle before during and after getting blue-balled as we do (hooker please, -id.) and getting greasy looks / galore of an evening and trudging slowly and solo back to your room because walk of shame - ‘ incel ‘ it’s called these days for involuntary celebates - and that’s just what (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and off / the pole fully cintends to do later on because he drove down five hours for (t)his overload of How Does It Feelings Thirstday last two evening ago, and they never get any / more or any / less thirsty because Regime Zero, and because he said / he would, cincel is all / we gots.

 

What it is in Noah’s Dove by Natalie Merchant and the rest of the 10,000 Maniacs  - ‘ the bastard son’, one of Freddy Krueger’s sleep-deprived elevenquarantween screamqueen roadkill’s (hooker please, -id.) parents describe Freddy’s origin story of being raised by his high school janitor father and mother playing Pimps and Hoes in the school basement and in less-than-ideal conditions better in one of the Nightmare on Elm Street editions, ‘of a thousand / maniacs’ - is that the humble(d) narrator of the same is after putting her How Does It Feelings to pen and paper and song over her parental or romantic concern for her fella going off / to war as we do and all / that, ‘you win a prize for that’ Nathalie sings it better, ‘for telling lies / like that’, sleep-deprived is all / we gots.

 

Course the Maniacs’ Noah’s Dove s also one of the tunes that (y)our man Cin enshrined as we do on the mixed tapes that we would be after making in the 20th on cassette tapes to audee in the car on road trips and elsewhere because POKE / Totally Unauthorized Reproduction, innit JvS, and (y)our man Cin was after making (m)any number of road trips with his drooogs and solo that four-lettered word both - and (m)any number of them up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in the Green Mountain State and Empire State of Mind New York next door - back in the days and decades when driving / was fun and not ‘Mad Max’, as he truthfully describes driving and highway conditions these days to who(m)ever will listen (no one / listens), we’re a hella species, there’s a term for what happens when hu(wo)nanity cannot help but destroy what should be commonly-designated beneficial common spaces like roads and instead DRIVE LIKE (WO)MANIACS on them because stupid, Totally Unauthorized Reproduction is all / we gots.

 

And though surprisingly - and refreshingly - enough neither of (y)our man Cin’s cellphones gets any kind of good reception up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in the high 802 and Jew York (hooker please, -id.) State mountains, the internets are lightning quick as we do, and doesn’t (y)our (wo)man Spotify Inc,’s algorithm somehow (wo)manage - (y)our man CIn hulk-smashed ‘Noah’s Dove’ into the search function of the same because emo over another Dirty Thirty reunion participant up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here this week-end and those mixed tapes with references to telling lies / like that and all / that still mixing up his How Does It Feelings even after thirsty god damn years, innit god, and who(m) tonight he must do something other than pretend / to not see as we do and as he did last night because it’s like it’s 1994 all over / again, ‘the thirty year reunion folks are still / bitchy’, the local tour guide said it better to the assembled tour gathered outside  (y)our man Cin’s rented dorm room window before during and after the(ir) 25th year reunion, up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here ‘at forty years they seem to let it / go’ - to somehow dredge up some of the other mix-tape POKE classics that he would be after putting together back in the 20th because pre-internet, and if Spotify Inc.’s algorithm chooses Sinead O’Connor’s RIP THank You for Hearing Me , the other book-end to Noah’s Dove as the alpha and omega of the college love that broke/ his heart as we do, innit AS before during and after this choice of Sinead’s Emperor’s New Clothes , he may well do it / himself because uncanny, dredging up some of the  classics is all / we gots.

 

Thank you for reading (t)his Take THis THing Back to Balti-memoires and off / the pole .