2016-07-03 ‘How about / yourself ?
’13 Cinversations’ this film titles itself better,
only of course it’s ‘conversations’, ‘About One Thing’, 13
Cinversations About One Thing is all / we gots, only of course it’s
closer to 13,000, and it’s about this Take This Thing Back to Baltime-moirs
and 13 Cinversations About One Thing .
Good times, call / Guinness, imagine Cin’s surprise when he
was after finding four cans of the same hidden in the crawlspace (oh please
hooker, it’s / a cupboard -id.) next to the kitchen sink up on out on up on out
on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out
on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out
on up on out on up on out up here in / the condominium ealier this evening, all
of the elaborate counter-measures required of ®egime ze®o were not enough to
prevent him from hiding at some point these four delicious brown po®tals / to
heaven. ‘Though a teetotaller for 35 years’ the
obituary of your man Richard Harris the actor had it better, ‘Harris later
allowed himself an occasional / Guinness’, or thereabouts, hopefully you get
the idea, ‘I allow myself a glass of white wine or two’ the article and
soon-to-be obituary of the vaudevillian Elaine Stitch said it better, this
after decades of ®egime ze®o for her, and then moving to Phoenix, Arizona,
‘because when you’re dining with the ladies who lunch of Phoenix, you need a
glass of wine / or two’, needing a glass of wine / or two is all / we
gots.
‘Imma have a glass of white / whine’ the video store cle®k-owne®
said it better earlier this after, before during and after ©in’s t®iumphant
return to O-town after three days and three nights in the ©untry (that’s enough
©unting -id.), only of course it was not ‘Imma’ and it was ‘white / wine’, one
of the many cindignities of living under ®egime ze®o is that eve®yone and his /
her a®sehole sees fit to brag and go on and on and on about the what when and
wheres and whys – the ‘four w’s’ your man the President of ®ugby ©lub said it
better - related to the how – ‘and / the ‘how’ your man the P®esident ended it
better , innit Duff - (s)he is about to
go get / a®seholed.
How – ‘and the ‘how’’
- and the ‘four ‘w’s of this particular(ly) cintillating cinversation
came to be is that your man the video store cle®k / owne® was after greeting ©in
in the room in the video (oh please hooker it’s mostly DVDs now, -id., though
not / entirely , note to self, hook up / the V©® to videe good movies for a
change) store where ©in rents most of the movies to review up on out on up on
out on up on out on up on out on this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore
me-moirs and V©® to videe good movies for a change , and ©in like the English
defaulted to going on and on and on about / the weather, and how nice it was
outside and all that, and then your man the owne® goes ‘I wouldn’t know’ seeing
as he was cooped up and all that in / his store, but that as soon as he was
done he would be after getting a®seholed on his beloved white / whine, and then
probably making the beast with two backs with his beloved as we do, getting a®seholed
on his beloved white / whine is all / we gots.
‘No’ your man the owne® said it better then, digging the
knife in / deeper, ‘a cold / beer, Imma have a ©old / bee®’, a ©old / bee® is
all / we gots. After choosing his
cinevitable four movies for $19.80 to videe and ®eview for you little monste®s
– an anemic bunch, there’s this 13 cinversations About One Take This Thing Back to Baltimore (oh please
Pauline Kael it’s 13 Conversations About One Thing -id.), and The Bling Ring,
currently being videed only / no audee on your man Tosh the laptop at 75 %
speed playback because Emma Watson, video only, sans audee because
unlistenable, believe me he tried, and two others the titles of which escape ©in
at the moment, escaping ©in at the moment is all / we gots - ©in pulled out his
wallet for the usual twenty dollar hemo®haging, the usual twenty dollar hemo®haging
is all / we gots.
Course then Things got / cinteresting, .Before during and
after giving out his phone number for the umpteenth time as we do - this as well as his membe®ship card is the
video store’s version of / authentication, which is a little superfluous
really, though your humble(d) narrato® doesn’t mind when they one and all refer
to him as ‘Mr. Noslouc’ (do a Danny Torrence ‘redrum’ in the mirror to see what
he means, innit Mr. King) cinsidering how many times the video store ©lerk /
owne® has called up ©in to read him the ®iot A©t about how the movies are late
and all that even though ©in gets them quite deliberately from that room at the
store where every movie is 100 years old and so as not to get his heart broken
twice, first for not only about how bad the movies are but also he has to bring
them back tomorrow - ©in gets hit with
the percinal questions, getting hit with the percinal questions is all / we
gots.
‘Married man’ – What Would Jack Aks of your man Delbert Grady
in Kubrick’s take on you’re The Shining, innit Mr.
King – ‘are you, Mr. Grady?’ and here’s your man the video store ©lerk / owne®
aksing the same / of ©in. Course ‘have
you ever been / married?’ was the actual question. Somewhat taken aback, but like your man the
bloggist who runs that skinflint blog about living like a skinflint 24 / 7, who
said ‘no one ever listens to me in real life, but they listen to me on / my
blog’, it’s exceedingly rare that ©in gets to drop a line from this Take
This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and living like a skinflint 24 / 7,
but under the se®endipitous cincumstances as above, drop a line from this Take
This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and living like a skinflint 24 / 7 he
did, especially apt it was seeing as they were in the video store, ‘in the
words of Deadpool’ Cin dead-panned after a moment cinsidering the
question, and knocking on the wood of the video store counter for the same
reason, ‘I like women too much / to marry one’, liking women too much / to
marry one is all / we gots, though the verb in the line (both of them) really
should have been ‘love’, loving women too much / to marry one is all / we gots,
‘I never found one’ William Hurt’s Phillie goombah said it better in David
Cronenburg’s immor(t)al film A History of
Violence about the same, ‘who could make me forget about / the rest’,
never finding one who could make me forget about / the rest is all / we gots.
Good times, after three days in the country (that’s enough
-id.) of no cinversation whatsoever – not even the Grade Two va®iety with your
men the ©ity ©ats, who are spending this summer for the first time in years
cooped up in the ©indominium, and not in Luskvegas because ®accoons and no end
of feral cats out there, and ‘we’re none of us’ Cin said it better to his ®ugby
©oach after that brutally bad last game and re-arranging his shoulder and neck,
‘getting any / younger’ – here’s one where they’re discussing Cin’s life pa®tner
at the video sto®e or more to the point the lack / of same.
No reason was given by the video store owne® / operato® as to
the ‘four w’s’ and the ‘how’ of his question, and none / was sought, and after
a desultory bad-mouthing / envious rundown of the clientele of the video store
and its tony neighborhood – apparently many married couples in the Glebe have
‘open’ relationships, ‘very’ your man the video store owne® / operato®
emphasized it better, ‘open’ that four-lettered word - Cin took advantage of the arrival of said
clients to take / his leave after name-dropping ‘AshleyMadison.com’ to the
bewildered video store owne® / operato®.
Course your man the
owne® / operato® of the video store knows Cin better from his movie rentals
histo®y better than Cin knows / himself, knowing Cin better from his movie
rentals histo®y better than Cin knows / himself is all / we gots.
Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to
Balti-memoires and AShleyMadison.com
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