Jun 7, 2025 Off / the pole .

2014-10-08         

 

                Just as it's hard to stop / d®inking, and hard to stop (s) / (b) / (f) / (v) logging, it's hard once you start to stop / eating.  Though he made it through another retirement lunch without imbibing the 'amusing' - the Smithsonian scientist in Jonathan Demme’s take on Thomas Harris’ The Silence of the Lambs says it better by way of macking on Jodie Foster’s Agent Starling in that movie - 'house wine', and / or in this case the house / bee®, Cin's unquenched thirst led him to not three but four visits to the 'all', Andrew Dice Clay called it better, though his reference was more to the lobster than the lobster / bisque 'you can fuckin' eat' / buffet this after.  'They're not making any money' Cin said it better to a colleague afterwards, 'off / us.'  Of all of the trappings of College that Cin misses most : the visuals, the shenanigans, the lunch-room scenes, perhaps none does he miss more than the all-you-can-eat / buffet, the visuals of co-eds licking their ice-cream cones will haunt him to his grave and beyond.

 

                'There is a road' the Dead sing it better in 'Ripple', 'no simple highway / between the dawn and the dark of night / and if you go, no one may follow / that path is for / your steps / alone.'  It goes on like this, and ends, 'if I knew the way,' ending too the end credits of this film, as the song introduced its first scene, it's good book-ending editing - 'I would take / you home.'  It's the rare Grateful Dead tune that is hummable, Cin went through a brief (20 year -id.) phase as a dead-head in College, and may yet do so / again.

 

                Film was about a Quebe©ois farmer who's looking to sell, well, the farm.  'Buying the farm' of course is a euphemism for ®IP / snuffing it / six-feet-under - tough to explain the eptymology (hooker please –id.) of the phrase, unless of course you've ever worked / a farm - but this farmer is trying / to sell it.  There may have been a subtext in this procedure but Cin missed it, it was the cinenviable gateway film - videed between meal preparation and meal cinsumption, and in-between surveying the damage wrought by the cats in the cindominium of a WTFednesday evening, 'the burlap' Cin wrote it better in his little black book, of the new Category of stories / Categories, 'sack', this after your man the cat Jesse James chose again to mark / his territory up on out on up on out on up up here - of the five that Cin rented earlier from his new video rental store. 

 

                Though Cin has rented five films at a time as of late for what by now should be obvious reasons - he is trying to videe every damn movie ever / made, 'when was the last time' his cinsellor aksed him it better, 'you had any guests', though Cin thinks (s)he may have just said 'any / one', 'in your cindominium?', cin-tax / is his - for a reasonable price of $20.00 at Invisible Cinema, ®IP, he will certainly keep up the habit at his new rental place, which is decidedly more lo-tech, and charges $24.85 for the same, calculating the damage on a hand-written tax chart, the owners either former and / or current deadheads from the look and speed of them. 

 

                This store is in the only nice residential part of O-town, and your man ©in will have to take yet more additional elaborate counter-measures in order not to be drawn into the d®inking establishments on the route there / and back to the video store because ®egime Ze®o as Autumn sneaks up on us as is its wont, leaving the more obvious temptations of summer behind it - there were brief snow flurries / this after - and his absolute adherence to ®egime Ze®o / along with it.  ®in ran into a former ®ugby ©lub opponent in that same neighborhood as of late, who regaled him with details of his trip to Rio de Janeiro, 'with one set of clothes', which ended 'I slept at the beach', and, the raconteur being Irish and ©in's fellow-listeners at the Starbucks patio - 'what the fu©k' Cin was aksed  it better of his choice of perches of that TGIFFF®iday after, innit G, by your man I®ish, 'are you doing / here ?' - a couple of saucy co-eds pretending / to study, 'and got / laid', your man I®ish ended the story with a wink at the girls before heading off 'for a pint.'  Good times, what the fu©k are you doing / here ? is all / we gots.

 

                'Sweats' his cousins used to shout, and prolly still / do, after the main event of dinner was over and everone / could relax, and so Cin is dressed now in his writing sweatpants and when he repairs outside / a fleece jacket.  Course during the course of the day he wears his work outfits - dress pants and collared / shirts - sometimes, as the day progresses and the various pieces of clothing / sag, with belt cinched and pants riding up mid-riff, his grand-pops and Dr.Lecter-in-The Silence of the Lambs -standing-and-awaiting-Clarisse-Starling's-first-visit style.

                Next up is another French film, this one French / from France, therefore both much less and much more humorous than its' New World / cousin that came before it from Quebec, with its' 'ripple' soundtrack, this post-dinner film having to do with a dude who works at the local nuclear - 'nucleer' Homer says it better, and he / should now, ' 'it's pronounced / nucleer' - plant.  Course this being a French film, the 'Silkwood'-esque opening scenes, with their cinister-sounding gamma radiation detectors going off all over the plant, soon give way to your man the nuclear technician shagging his BFF's girlfriend in the woods, and then getting into all kind / of trouble. 

                'Never introduce a gun in Act I', Anton Chekhov  wrote it better, 'unless it's going to go off / in Act III', and sure enough the gamma radiation detectors going off in the earlier scenes means everone's / radioactive, cincluding our two love birds who make the beast with two ba©ks morning noon and night, around, above, below, and in / the lake, it's all kind of sli©k / abundance, innit It.

 

                There is no need to videe and / or describe the entirety of the plot, apparently working in a nuclear plant makes you all kind of woozy and horny.  Your man's BFF finally cottons on to his buddy's shenanigans with his girlfriend, and a fight in hazmat suits is sure / to follow.  Like 'the machine', John Cleese's doctor character from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life describes it better in the maternity ward scene ‘bi®th’ in that movie, 'that goes 'beep', the noises of this gamma-ray detector in the movie would surely be enough to scare away anyone who heard it, but this is / the movies, and no one dares leave, at least until the dastardly plots play themselves / out.  It may go all '©hina Synd®ome' at the end, but Cin expects that only this forlorn love triangle will get irradiated by the time that all is said / and done, and that won't be soon / enough (that's enough -id.)

 

                Course it's our inquenchable thirst for electric (nucleer ? -id.) power up on out on up on this Dog and Pony Show, like your humble / humbled / humiliated narrator's cinquenchable thirst before it was slaked by ®egime Ze®o, what leads us to build and staff these nuclear power plants, these Three Mile Islands, these Chernobyls, these Fukiyamas.  Even now, outside the cindominium is a three-mile long string of illuminated street lamps up and down the Parkway, and Cin's neighbor the War Museum is all kind of lit up, despite no visible evidence of any of the soirees and galas that often take place inside the museum as Cin stares and watches and uses his binoculaurs (that's enough -id.) from across / the Parkway because ®egime ze®o.

 

                Cinside the cindominium is not much better when it comes / to electricity.  A blue light illuminates the cinquairium, the Samsung DVD / Blu Ray player and television combine to reel out this French movie towards its cinclusion, and the self-circulating water bowl for your men the ©indominium cats gurgles away.  Your man / machine Tosh the laptop is powered by a plug of course, its staying power without the cord far less effective than that of its predecessor, Big Mac, still in / the geek's shop.  Finally the vent is blowing / circulating cold air, tonight being the last night before the cold to hot switch is activated in the basement.  Come to think of it, Cin wants heat now, it's fucking frigid up on out on up on out up here, fire up all / the power, ‘I want’ one of the titular character of Bruce Robinson’s immor(t)al Withnal and I says it better apropos the same to the other, ‘and demand / booze’.

                Course all the problems up on out on up on this Dog and Pony Show could be lessened / rectified if we all went ®egime Ze®o on our various excessive / cinsumptions.  'I don't put up' Cin and his cinsellor both agreed on it better this after, referring to the various bad melodramas in they lives, and how it effects a fellow-sufferer with eyes / wide open - 'like an animal' someone wrote it better - cinstead of eyes / wide shut, or at least half-lidded, and all / fu©ked up, 'with the histrionics / any more'. 

 

                And it's true, one of the few benefits of ®egime Ze®o is that a fellow-sufferer gets to be all kind / of sanctimonious and act like God on his throne, innit Electrified JC (your plug / stays on), lecturing everone on vice / and virtue morning noon and night.  Course no one / listens, and no one / cares, but it's worth / a shout out.

Thanks for reading this Take THis Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and egime / zero.