2014-10-17 Itchy / and Scratchy

2014-10-17  Itchy / and Scratchy

 

      'Crackhouse' Cin wrote it better at work that four-lettered wo®d as of late, referring in shorthand to one cock-and-bull story or another, this one from am origin agent - as the shipping company on the Origin end, as opposed to the Destination end, of a client's shipment's journey / is known (as ? -id.) - about a shipment that head become stuck in a warehouse in Caracas, Venezuela, and so Guy Maddin and his cronies refer to one scene or another in one of Maddin's films as being set in 'a Krakow / ghetto', a line that could never be used by a non-Ukrainian director, 'Guy' one of his droogies calls Maddin better during the 'Extra' bits of this film, it's a good moniker, better in many ways / than 'dude', innit Lo Jack, expecially when it happens to be / your actual handle.

 

      Yes it's a Guy Maddin TGIFFriday up on out on up on out on up on out on up up here in the ©indominium, innit G.  'Guy' is the familiar - pronounced like 'sky', as opposed to the French 'Guy' with a hard 'g', innit Doc - it's a little harder than the more ubiqitous 'dude', uttered better by among many others, among them John Goodman as Walter in the Coen brothers' The Big Lebowski, though in that case to be fair, Walter was speaking to the title character played by Jeff Bridges, whose handle also happened to be 'The Dude', it's the ex©eption as they say that proves / the ®ule.

 

      'Guy' is the first part of the sentence - it's a little harder than 'dude' - and also often / the last, it's the familiar greeting that serves as both subject and predicate.  'Guy' is what you say when your man your BFF has done / seen / said something excellent and deserves some recognition for the same.  ©inema these days of course is filled with 'bromances', stories that begin and end with dudes carrying on with each other as hetero couples did in days / of yore.  Think 'Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure' (?), 'Harold and Kumar go to White Castle' (?) and of course the cartoon capers of Itchy / and Scratchy, innit Itchy / and Scratchy. 

 

      What manner of (s) / (b) / (m) / (gl)/ and just plain adventures, were you two little monsters - actual cat bros / brothers in genealogy as well as in name – after getting up to, up on out on up on out on up in here, as your room-mate, your man ©in the humble(d) narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Itchy / and Scratchy, gets into all manner of (s) / (b) / (m) / (gl) / and just plain adventures, of his own, as you try to avoid / cincur ('incur' -id. as it applies to / from ©in) the fate of the Burlap Cloth Sack is your own business, but when you all three live in a one-room apartment, they become of course all / of their businesses, 'I'm not a businessman' Jay-Z sings it better, 'I'm a business / man.'

 

      'He needed to bring his thinking' - What Would Jack Think - the author Victor Lodato below writes / reads it better of his title character, 'to two thousand whatever the fuck year / it was', and so Cin too needs to focus of this TGIFFriday evening.  It's a good read / listen - https://soundcloud.com/newyorker/listen-to-victor-lodato-read-jack-july - the writer sounds younger reading his story than he does writing it, sounding younger reading our story than writing it is all / we gots.

 

Course the idea of reading bits of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Itchy / and Scratchy  aloud fills Cin with dread, 'some folks call it Hell' Slingblade says it better, 'I call it / Hades.'

 

      Cin has returned as of late to all of his old metrosexual habits, the morning and evening commute by the red-and-white limos - aka OCTranspo buses- the horroretail therapy of buying the likes of $30.00 'grooming tubes' for the cats Itchy and Scratchy (which to be fair Itchy uses, and encased in which he can be rolled around the cindominium like a pig / in a poke), and actually reading magazines for twenty minute stretches before during and after the aforementioned commutes, among them the aforementioned New Yorker, whose articles and celebrity hagiography pieces are cinferior these days to the always-stellar cartoons, but whose fiction still impresses sometimes, it's hard frankly to take an organ of the 'Conde Nast' publishing empire which markets itself vigorously within its pages as such particularly / seriously, but the magazine still carries / a certain cachet, still carrying a certain cachet is all / we gots.

 

      Attaboy, way to bite the only hand that's even remotely likely to feed us -id., this time of year as every year 'the writer's festival' takes over every church in town while ©in and his fellow-sufferers are relegated to / the basements of same, and every year Cin doesn't get / the memo, the cinvitation to attend one of these 'readings' to go on and on and on aloud from this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Itchy / and S©®at©hy up on out on on out on out up there.  Course your man AH, who conducts a good number of the interviews gives Cin glimmers / of hope, 'when will that' AH aksed it better to Cin last month, before during and after Cin attended AH's interview / reading with last year's Booker Prize winner, the lovely Eleanor from New Zealand, in yes a church, and nodding to Eleanor's chair front / and centre 'be you?', it's a good question, and certainly Cin is better for the aksing, encouragement of any kind to a writer like oases, or even mirages of oases, to a dude / in the dessert.

 

      Course there wasn't much in the way of glogging (that's a typo that became / a ve®b -id.) up on out on up on out up here as of late, as yesterday your man Tosh the replacement laptop went south after Cin as is his wont brought Tosh into the bathroom to videe The Simpsons as he showered and shaved of a Thirstday / Behold the Glogger morning, and they never get any more / or less thi®sty.  During the elaborate routines that make up the same, the tiniest bit of redirected water short-circuited Tosh's keyboard, and Cin couldn't revive the laptop for love or money all day. 

 

      He was about to flog Toshiba Inc. in a bad way, even as he was about to flog Toshiba Inc. in a good way, for its 22-inch TV the other evening, up on out on up on this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and It©hy and S©ratchy - the good lord giveth, the good book says, innit lord, and the good lord taketh / away - when lo and behold Tosh revived itself somehow during the course of the day up on out on up here in the cindominium, and powered up when Cin aksed it to by pressing the power button, after returning from work and some low-cost horroretail therapy, namely plants for / the cinquarium, this very evening. 

 

      Good times are back, your man Cin is hopelessly lost without a laptop and / or internet connection, it's a sad state of affairs, but there are only so many times that this horroreviewer can videe this week's rental, this Guy Maddin triple-bill, on the 22-inch Toshiba display, without a dose / of some streaming videeing and / or of course hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore glog, and / or Groovesharking - today's soundtrack brought to you of course by the letter 'Q', though today it's Quincy Jones for a change cinstead of Queen (or Queensrchyce (?) -id.) bringing / the noise - all of this spewing out the ports and orifices of its 15-inch cousin, Tosh the laptop.

 

      What it is is that Guy Maddin makes films that are so cryptic as to make this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore glog seem like the Dick / and Jane books of yore, see Dick run, see Dick run after Jane, what a / dick (that's enough - id.).  'It's a challenge' one of the Extras' narrator - other than Maddin- says it better in the voice-over, of the ludicrous opening scene of the movie, whereby the hero and the heroine meet cute on a hot-air balloon, after your man the hero has been released / from jail, 'to make the audience feel that they are emotionally invested in the characters, and dialogue' he ends this particular line / of thought 'is not the ideal way / to do it.'

 

      This may sound like a flog of a horroreview, and not a good / flog, but it is just the opposite.  Though there can be no real audience investment in these films' characters - surely partly by design, 'I know guys on crack' Michael Myers' gangster character says it better to his Doctor Evil in his Austin Powers' Goldmember, 'that makes more sense / than you' - either by way of dialogue and / or its opposite, namely all manner of action, and plenty / of it, still Maddin's films are the best, they're / the bomb.        

 

      ground-zero fiction / faction ? : http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/09/22/jack-july

 

      Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and It©hy / and S©®at©hy .