Jun 7, 2025 Off / the pole .

2014-10-09 

     

 

      'There are two rules in Fight Club', Brad Pitt says it better in the David Fincher movie of the same name, before enumerating the first ®ule followed by, you guessed it, the second, namely 'that there is no / Fight Club.'  There are two rules in black-out drinking, someone else wrote it better, firstly that if you can't remember it, it didn't / happen, and secondly that if you can't remember it, it probably / happened.

 

      By ©intrast, there is but one rule on a calling-in-sad-day-from-work day, and that is to never, never leave / the ©indominium,  'now do you think' - What Would Jack Say to wife Wendy after enumerating some new rules of his own in Stanley Kubrick's version of your The Shining, innit Mr. King, before during and after enumerating some new ®ules of / his own in that movie - 'you can handle / that?'  'Ain't a hard time been invented', Dennis Haysbert's Donald Breedan says it better in Michael Mann's Heat, to his girlfriend played by Kim Staunton, of the latest travesty to be sent / Breedan's way, 'that I cannot / handle', but Cin disobeyed the one and only staying-home-after-calling-in-sad-to-work rule, which is to say to stay / at home, ain't a hard time been ©invented that I cannot / handle is all / we gots.

 

      Thirsty Thursday – Thi®stday - started off normally enough, with ©in sleeping / dozing through both of his cell-phones buzzing and buzzing and buzzing away, though the location of one of the phones - the loud one, the ©rackberry - in Cin's bag in the closet lessened / its effectiveness, and by the time Cin made the decision to call in / sad to work, it was past 8 o'clock in / the AM.  He doesn't call in sick often - despite all of the accusations made against him as of late, 'you're not' the note from one of his fellow-sufferers said it better before during and after the course of the Ten Year (hooker please it was a Ten Day -id.), Pa®t Two, 'as bad / as they say', and your man in truth is rarely / sick, and to give credit where credit is due, even rarer under ®egime / Ze®o - and when he does he takes full advantage, in other words Cin went right back / to sleep.

 

      Your men the cats Frank and Jesse James - aka Itchy and Scratchy aka Romulus and Remus aka Detectives Mills / and Somerset - are of course are happy as pigs in a poke when their roommate up in here in the ©indominium – your man ©in the humble(d) / humiliated narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moi®s and (f) / (s) / (b) log - sticks / around of a week day, it means many more minutes of itching and scratching and #MeowToo (hooker please –id.) of / everone's, ©including your humbled narrrator's, itchies and scratchies, and ears and stomachs, the latter somewhat emaciated it must be said after all of the roommates' recent 3-month sojourn up on out on up in the country, in Luskvegas on the Quebe© side, when the cats had to fight for they food, and then ran it all off / afterwards be©ause mousing morning noon and night, mousing morning noon and night is all / we gots.

 

      Matter of fact as Slingblade has it better, your men the cats seem to miss the ©ount®y style of life at times, and if looks could kill, your man ©in the humble(d) / humiliated narrator would most certainly be dead by the cats' eyes glares that he gets of a morning noon and night from your man the cat Jesse James - often the first thing that Cin videes of an AM - from Jesse's perch on the dining room / chair, 'rooms seemed hotter when he was in them', the narrator and narration of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford directed by Andrew Dominik has it better of the historical figure and one of the two titular characters in the film of the same name, and played by Brad Pitt no less, 'rains fell straighter.  Clocks slowed. Sounds were amplified.'  They're nice lines, and qualities / to emulate, ©in has streaks and moments of it of them his own self at times, he knows, which can lead to both sideki©ks and ladies and Out Come / the ©uffs, sometimes all at the same / time - 'send lawyers', Warren Zevon sings it better of the same in his song of the same name, 'guns, and money' - 'I don't know if you want to be / like me' Brad Pitt's Jesse James says it better to Casey Affleck's not-so-secret admirer Robert Ford in Andrew Dominik's movie, 'or if you want to be / me', sending lawyers, guns, and money is all / we gots.

 

      'Look at ya' Cin says it better to the cat Jesse James just now - so-called for his violent and charismatic ways - 'skinny', rubbing his still-ribby (though not / for long) stomach after hulk-smashing on and on and on in the paragraph up on out on up above, about your man and your men the ©ats, adding yet another name to the cats' stable / of akas.

 

      WTF was he on about?  Oh yeah, so he slept until 10:30 (11:00 -id.) before during and after texting / e-mailing in to work / 'sad' he likes to call it, one of his bartenders called it that, it captures the nature of the thing / better, innit Rob.  In truth Cin might still be asleep even now if some twinge / of ©inciousness hadn't roused him up out / the bed earlier in the AM, your man can sleep when he has the opportunity, a latter-day horroRumplestiltskin, innit Brothers Grimm.  During the hal©yon p®e-®egime ze®o days of Benders morning noon and night, he'd be after sleeping until 4:00 in the PM, and for good reason - 'I eat when I'm hungry' Bob Dylan sings it better, 'and drink when I'm dry / live my life on / the squa®e' - and sleep for Cin follows this same pattern / rationale / hierarchy of needs , though ®egime ze®o of course does not allow for the former of / Dylan's latters, and sleep of any kind is att best / cintermittent, some twinge / of cinciousness is all / we gots.  

 

      And yet for all of this bingeing and purging and then bingeing and then purging, Cin doesn't, other than the actual sleeping part of it of course, 'lose', his fellow-sufferer used to punch-line his own war stories better - war stories that could age you ten years for the ten minutes of the hearing of the telling of them - 'any sleep / over it', not losing any sleep over it for all of this bingeing and purging and then bingeing and then purging is all / we gots.

 

      All of which is to say that after having a pretty good calling-in-sad-day-from-work, Cin at the mid-way point, when cinfronted by the choice of either the sauna, after a solid weights-only workout in the very scenic gym downstairs in the cindominium, or leaving / said cindominium, and breaking the cardinal, nay the only ®ule, of the calling-in-sad-from-work cinario (ok, ok -id., he'll say he had / to) decided cinstead to go videe Gone Baby of this Thirstday evening, requiring him to leave / the safety and the cinfines of the cindominium, still in his sweats and flip-flops, although freshly-showered and with a fresh t-shirt. 

 

      After dropping upwards of $40.00 for the ticket - swank seats, first-class airplane seats from what Cin's / seen from Economy - and the large popcorn and large drink (Coke, of course, now he's all kinds / of sugared up, violating even now his other ®ule, this one about Hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore (f) / (b) / (s) log only during specific hours, ignored now tonight in his desire to horroredeem those last two plus plus plus plus hours, for all Cin knows the movie may still / be playing, of his life that he spent videeing that David Fincher movie - 'I can't wait' the teen-age heroine in Lloyd Kaufman's film Return to Nuke 'Em High says it better, 'to get home and write about this in / my blog' - hours that he'll never / get back, redeeming those last two hours of life that we'll never / get back is all / we gots) before dropping himself into the seat of the fancy movie theatre auditorium # 7, Cin then thereby violated yet another ®ule, this one to always take / the aisle seat for when you have to GTFO, on principle, and reviewing Gone Girl for as long as is humanly possible, before finally having to GTFO when the script jumped the shark one time - of many - too many, garnering sympathetic tsk-tsks but tsk-tsks nevertheless from the brave fellow-cingleton lady in the seat beside Cin's, whom Cin had to step over on his way / out.

 

      Nice run-on sentence, Mr. Tacitu®n, Mr. E©onomy.  What it is is that Ben Affleck plays a goof-ball over-entitled white guy in the movie Gone Girl, married to the female equivalent of same - played by, God forgive him, innit Electrified JC, an actress whose face / name excapes him even now, not two hours after he spent what seemed like a cinterminable two hours plus plus plus with her and her husband Ben Affleck, brother / of Casey, so perfect that, like the Class of '91 (!) graduate from the night of Cin's 25th year high school re-union as of late whom Cin macked on, that they become / cindeterminate from any other, on-screen / or off  - who move to the middle of the U.S. after living in New York, after which, as was the similar case with Cin as of late after moving back up on out on up on out up here after living in / the same, namely the wheels / fall off, 'it was the worst mistake' Cin said it better at the 25th year high school reunion, of his decision to leave New York, and it's no word / of a lie, 'I ever made', and that's not a short / list.

 

      'So far' the Irish writer said it better on Eleanor Wachtel's radio show - speaking of a book that he was 'asupposed to horroreview, this one about a single mother, with a precocious / son - ' so bad'.  Though the Irish writer would later in Eleanor Wachtel's interview redeem his earlier first impression of the book, as a result of the book redeeming / itself, Cin unfortunately cannot say / the same about David Fincher's Gone Baby.  Course any story based upon two almost-completely (and apparently deliberately) unlikeable characters runs the risk of being over-extended beyond the first five minutes of the film, wherein they meet cute in New York and live off the wife's trust-fund for a while before it all goes South, literally, 'Mr. Fly-ove®' the Harvard-Yale wife bad-mouths Affleck's character after their move to the suburbs when she's upset, which is never, until of course, in the movie it is, cinexplicably, all / of the time. 

 

Extending that five minutes into two and a half hours - and counting, before Cin had to GTFO - is ambitious at best, and cintolerable / at worst, 'so far' the Irish writer and book reviewer said it better, 'so / bad'.

 

      All that Cin can possibly think is that your man David Fincher saw the snowball of a good movie become an avalanche, and decided to just keep / going until the film / ran out, and to be fair, deciding to keep going until the film runs out is all / we gots, but for $40.00 Cin and the other viewers want  - 'I want' the title character of Bruce Robinson's immortal Withnal and I says it better when he realizes that they're out / of hooch in their apartment, 'and demand / some booze' - and demands / some editing.

      Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (f) / (s) / (b) / log.