2014-10-29
'And so
if you enjoy videeing Homer's adventures', your (wo)man Betty White as Betty
White, and hosting the PBS pledge drive says it better of The Simpsons'
pater-famelia®is’ (hooker please –id.) shenanigans in an episode of the TV show
of the same name, 'or should I say / misadventures, then please call /
now.' You've heard the shill before -
and Cin will repeat it during today's WTFednesday's edition of this Take
This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (f)log - if you enjoy reading
about (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of the same’s (s) / (b) / (s) / mis and just / adventures,
keep reading people.
'You
just saved my network' Rupert Murdoch as Rupert Murdoch says it better to end
the aforementioned episode, before during and after son Bart Simpson calls in
to the Fox telethon with a $10,000.00 pledge, 'wouldn't be' Bart answers back,
breaking television's 4th wall, and not for the first time - the show about him
and his family having kept the network in the black more or less, and more /
than once - 'the first time', saving my network is all / we gots.
©in is
after breaking all / the rules of a WTFednesday evening up on out on up on out
up here, he videed The Simpsons in the evening, and set off your (wo)man the
®obot Miletka ®obo-sweeper on its 30-minute robo-drive around / the cindomnium,
if for no other reason than to run over and draw into its felty felt pad the
detritus which Cin had not just swept up immediately before, using its cousin
the Miletka broom. If Miletka Inc. and
its wide-range of domestic products has not received a hearty f®ee! flog up on
out on up on this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore mem-moirs and (f)log
as of late, well then it has / now, please pledge your support for further f®ee
! flogging at the home site of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore
me-moirs and (f)log, chez the company formerly known as goggle in©.
'The
truth has many enemies' the actor playing the Dominican priest in tonight's
movie about the Spanish (mis)treatment of the Bolivian native people, 'and lies
have many / friends', it's as good a slogan / as any, innit Electrfied J©. Course this week's editions of House
Arrest the Horror / Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and
(f)log were 'asupposed to be Halloween horror film horroreviews editions,
culminating in this Friday's October 31st final Friday the 13th Jason van der
Hies horror / marathon, innit monsieur debonaire, but Cin is easily /
distracted, and he will cinstead rifle through the exotic 5 DVD collection
which he rented earlier on this evening, he has already rifled through an
Italian number called 'I Cannibale' , which was too hard to follow / to
describe, that fim had the unenviable role of playing during the dinner /
after-dinner nap shift up on out on up on out up here, from which Cin always
bolts upright awake, never knowing wtf he is, wtf day it is, wtf time it is,
and wtf How Does It Feel / the Category, expecially of a WTFednesday evening,
©innibalism is all / we gots.
Good
times, what it is in this movie is that some movie folks in Bolivia go up on
out on up into the Andes mountains - where the Argentinian Rugby Club, before
during and after an air trip crash in that movie Alive, 'ate' Danny
Torrence in Kubrick’s take on your The Shining innit Mr. King said it
better about the Donner Party in that movie 'each other / up' - to film a movie
about the early days of the Spanish scum that came to that area hundreds of
years ago and destroyed the Mayan civilization.
Course
these are all racist and historically and geographically cincorrect
generalizations, but hopefully you get / the idea, Cin is 'assupposed to be
after hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore
me-moirs and (f)log up on out on up on up in here, and not translating /
sub-titles. It looks like a good movie,
it breaks the 4th wall all over the place, very leftist and meta, somefink to
do with 'the scene with the cross' will be the deal-breaker, innit Elect®ified
J©, all the Indian extras in the film are protesting the current government's
appropriation, or should we say / missappropriation, of the village's water
supply, even as their predecessors 500
years ago tried to save their village from the Spanish / conquistadors (that's
enough -id.) and even as the yuppy leftist film-makers see their Best Foreign
film Oscar dreams too dry / up, Spanish / ©inquistadors is all / we gots.
Course
Ronald Jaffe's film The Mission had the same plot, though less meta,
only it was set in the time of the conquisitadors and soundtracked by that
beautiful haunting pan flute music, Cin wants to say Zefferelli, it might have
been Enrico / Merricone. 'I'm not a
businessman', Jay Z sings it better, 'I'm a business, man' and so in these
films the Spanish / French / English conquistadors and / or the clergy who
accompany them are always rapacious business, man, raping the locals and the
local environments in their cinsatiable lust - never / slaked - for gold +
territory + souls.
Course The
Mission had Robert de Niro as a mercenary-turned-Jesuit novice, along with
Jeremy Irons and Liam Neeson, de Niro’s character hauling around his old metal
mesh bag full of his armor from his former life as a form / of penance, ©in
used to / still does the same with his Northface bag loaded to the gills, so
that he never forgets during his various (s) / (b) / (m) / mis and just plain /
adventures what he is 'assupposed to be doing up on out on up on out on up on
out on this Dog and Pony Show, namely hulk-smashing away at every given
opportunity at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and glog.
'Excitable boy' Warren Zevon sang it better in his song
of the same name, 'they all said', and so the protagonists in this film are
excitable boys, all rolled 'rrrrr's and 'por favors' mixed in with liberal
doses of Catholic guilt for what their forefathers did so that they could do up
into the jungle and shoot / their documentary or whatnot. Script jumps the shark when before during and
after the actor playing the protagonist of the film-within-the-film, in full
Magua from Micahel Mann’s film take on Fenimore Cooper’s The Last of the
Mohicans warpaint make-up - in the film-wthin-the-film about to be burnt to
death at the stake for daring to talk back to the conquisitadors (that's enough
– id) or wtf - is arrested during the actual filming of the scene, fire at his
feet and all, by the local real-time police who Out ©ome the ©uffs the actor
and drag him, in the middle of filming, to their policia jeep, and who don't
appreciate the actor's meddling in the real-time controversy over the local
village's water supply, 'the devil I renounce' the crooked monk in Jean-Jacques
Annaud's take on Umberto Eco’s The Name of the Rose spits out at F.
Murray Abraham's Spanish Inquistor Bernardo Gui better under similar
circumstances, namely repent / or die, innit Electrified JC, 'is you, Bernardo
/ Gui', Out ©ome the ©uffs is all / we gots.
'Do ya'
the crusty Irish sea captain akses Richard Dreyfuss' scientist character it
better in Steven Spielberg's Jaws, 'folla?'
Neither / does Cin, this movie jumps
the shark as it bites off more than it can / chew, jumping the shark by
biting off more than we can chew is all / we gots, 'dying' Joe Biden ressurects
an Irish proverb better, 'on a big cross' is all / we gots, innit Electrified
J© (that's enough -id.), 'management' the participant at a recent meeting that
Cin was at said it better apropos running / things one horror / after the next,
'by crisis', this last one cincluded in the list only because Cin liked the
sound of it, it's a first cousin to his new management philosophy, borrowed
like most of his philosophies, from someone else, 'mind over matter' it's
called, aka 'if I don't mind, it doesn't matter', it's a good as slogan as any
for someone used to management by crisis, to juggling / chainsaws up on out on
up on this Dog and Pony Show for a living, as slogans, dying on a big cross, management by crisis,
and mind over matter is all / we gots.
What's
next, pray tell, during this Halloween Week / of horrors? This week is given over every year to the genre / idea / horror of horror, while Cin
by necessity and by long familiarity is a student of the Thing / itself,
'horror' Brando's Colonel Walter Kurtz says it better in Francis For Coppola’s
Apocalypse Now , apropos his choice / of weapons, 'horror and / terror', horror
and / terror is all we / gots.
'Horra
/ and terra' Cin says it better as he walks around / the ©indominium just now,
taking a quick break from Hulk-smashing away at this WTFednesday edition of
this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore mem-moirs and (s)log, affecting
an English accent as is / his wont when he wants to impress your men the ©indominium
cats and his ®oomamtes It©hy / and Scrat©hy.
Course we don't need no stinking movie to find horra / and terra up on
out on up on this Dog and Pony Show, the flags across the street at the War
Museum are still flying at half-mast in honour of the two soldiers slain last
week, it's a touching gesture, this year's Remembrance Day sure to be an
emotional one up on out on up on out on up up here.
Also
horra found in this movie 'Metropolitan', apparently it got the proverbial nod
for an Oscar nomination for Best Screenplay, though so far said screenplay / is
brutal, what it is is a bunch of Upper East Side 'New York Social Types' one of
the irritating eleven-teen characters says it worse. Course Cin flies into an unholy rage every
time he sees a movie about New York, the City that Got / Away - so far - but
this one is particularly / egregious, whitebread tuxedo and debutante
gown-wearing aristo one-percenters going on and on and on about each other and
their frightfully brutal / lives.
Thanks for reading this Take THis Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (g)log
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