2014-11-27 Living under / a rock

2014-11-27          Living under / a rock

                'Quick thinking' the pastoral type says it better to Michael Palin's character Dennis in Terry Guillam's Jabberwocky, 'but not quick enough to save / your skin.'  What it is - as far as this reviewer is cincerned before / during / after this third viewing of the film - is that your man Dennis, a Middle Ages simpleton, heads off to the local village, before during and after being renounced by his own Da and falling in love with the local town bike, to seek his fame / and fortune.

                This being a Terry Guillam - of Monty Python's Flying Circus fame, for those who live under / a rock - movie, societal mores and habits of the time are mercilessly mocked, even as they are celebrated, 'beware' the street beggar says it better to your man Dennis as he walks the streets of the village for the first time , 'the jabberwock'.  'Rats on a stick' cries the local street vendor, hawking his wares during the local jousting competition, 'only / a farthing.'  Turnips and potatoes are similarly hawked as Dennis goes about his picaresque (m) / (s) / (b) and just plain / adventures, living under / a rock is all / we gots.

                Good times, in its’ (their ? -id.) misery the Middle Ages look like (y)our man the humble(d) narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and living under / a rock ©in's mid-life / crisis, it's a line he trots out regular-like as of late, to explain his bouts of ®etail therapy, his brutal solitude, his girlish figure, this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and living under / a rock.  Still like in this movie you gots to find the humour amongst / the horror, ‘if we didn’t laugh’ the I®ish as always have it better ,’we’d have / o cry’, finding the humour amongst / the horror is all / we gots.

                Here's the local squire giving Dennis the run-down of the town, drinking and drinking and drinking as both ogle the local Rubeunesque barwench at the village pub.  'What's all this, then' the local law akses Dennis better soon after, before during and after things start to go south for him, not for the first or last time in the narrative, 'disturbing the King's / peace ?'  It's a line that Cin's been delivered of course as well, not for the first or last time during the narrative, 'drunk' Homer Simpson akses it better after being read back his own / rap sheet, ' and disorderly ?  that's a little / redundant.'

                Course your man Dennis, hide as he may, must confront / the Jabberwock before all is said / and done, cinfronting the Jabberwock before all is said / and done is all / we gots.  Normally this reviewer doesn't care for monsters in films that are hidden away for purposes of cintrigue and / or dramatic tension, and the Jabberwock in this film is no / exception, like your man Mr. Snuffalupagus of Sesame Street fame - 'Sesame Street is different these days', a colleague's of Cin's said it better as of late, 'half of the show is given over / to Tickle Me / Elmo' as Cin nodded and nodded and nodded, understanding / nothing, is that Oscar the Grouch's ginger nephew ? - Cin is beginning to suspect that your man the monster the Jabberwock will not be making an appearance at all, even in this movie of the same name.

                Guillam of course directed 'Time Bandits' and 'Brazil' among others, and co-directed or whatnot the Pythons' ensemble films 'The Life of Brian' and 'The Meaning / of Life'.  'Give us a kiss' the lecherous local sheriff John Q. Law says it better to your man Dennis -  travelling through the village disguised as a nun for reasons as of yet cindiscipherable - and then when told by his sidekick deputy that his intended target appears to be 'a nun', changes his request to 'then give us a Christian / kiss' before grabbing her / his groin and getting the 'surprise', Pacino's Vincent Hanna says it better in Michael Mann's 'Heat' of his own group cops' imminent stake-out of the bank / job and what awaits / the robbers of same, 'of a lifetime'.

                Drenched in stage blood, the local worthies in the film now videe from a tent as the various local knights compete to get down the bloomers of the local sire's daughter.  Hide and seek is among the games from the looks of it, and some more jousting.  Half of the fun of these movies is the language - 'sire' / 'give us / a kiss', 'fried / rats' - they're the sort of lines that Cin uses when he's after being cooped up in the cindominium for years / on end, innit you little monsters. 

                Course the local bishop makes / an appearance, accompanied by a version of the soundtrack music piece that also accompanied Jack Torrence and family in their VW Beetle on their way up / the sidewinder on the way to the Overlook Hotel at the begininning of Kubrick's take on your The Shining, innit Mr. King, it is ominous music in the latter film, less so in the former, organized religion of course in the Middle Ages and in this film in particular being more an object of ridicule than of / righteousness, innit Electrified JC.

                Course your man Dennis - when he's not after playing at being a knight / errant in order to get down the bloomers of the local princess and / or the town bike - also has a day job, like your man Cin, in Dennis' case, a cooper.  'Damn' your grand-daddy said it better to you - in so doing giving you and / the world your moniker, innit Coop - 'that chicken coop'.  What a cooper is / does / did will have to remain / a mystery, somefink to do with metals, Cin thinks, or thinks / he thinks. 

                Oh boy he lied like a rug about your man the monster the Jabberwock staying cinvisible throughout this film of the same name, there it is now on Tosh the TV set in all / its glory.  This titular character looks like a dragon and acts like one too, but the monster of course is no match for your man Dennis, who manages to slay it through a combination of valor, idiocy, and dumb / luck, valor, idiocy, and dumb / luck is all / we gots. 

                'We'll have the wedding tomorra' the town bike says it better to Dennis after he returns a conquering hero - returning a cinquering hero is all / we gots - this offer coming despite the fact that she gave him the high hat from the time that they were both filthy little kids living outside / the castle right up to the time that he slayed / the Jabberwock.  Course the sire / squire has gots somefink to say about that, and instead offers Dennis the keys to the kingdom as well as those to his daughter the princess's chastity belt and bloomers.  Dennis leaves with one of them at the end in horse-drawn chariot, and everone lives happily ever / after, The End, everone living happliy ever / after, The End, is all / we gots.

                And this brings to an end this week's collection of reviews, except of course for 'No Blades of Grass', 'gone is the hope' the opening credits' song of this film has it better, 'that life / will go on.'  What it is is that 'by the beginning of the '70s' the narrator says it better, 'mankind had brought about the seeds of / the destruction of / the Earth.'  Images of crop planes dusting fields with pesticides are videed next, and thousands of wage-slaves off / to work, and tailpipe after tailpipe after tailpipe spewing out poisonous carbon monoxide up on out on up on out on up on out into what was left of the environment of this Dog and Pony Show, 'and one day' the narrator ends it better, 'the polluted Earth could take / no more.'

                Good times, 'doesn't sound' the as-always-understated Englishman with the eye-patch in the film says it better as the TV news reports 'a hundred million dead in Africa and Asia' with the graphics / to boot, 'very / promising', before he and his mates at the local pub have a good laugh about it all, carbon monoxide wasn't the only thing that the people up on out on up on out on up on out on this Dog and Pony Show were smoking in the '70s, the film-makers / included. 

                'There are reports' the radio news guy says it better as our four whitebread protagonists continue to drive around in their sedans without a care / in the world, 'of wide-spread / cannibalism', and you can guess where it goes / from here, 'Jesus' goes the soundtrack as everone runs / amok, innit Electrified JC, 'died for this'.  Mildly perturbed and surprised by the Occupy folks finally rising up against the one-percenters - or is that a different film ? - our protagonists finally have to get out their cars as chaos engulfs England, 'perfidious', Shakespeare's Henry IV says is better, 'Albion'.

                'I'm very handy with things like weapons and cars' the cockney dude says it better as he and his 'bird' - 'my old / lady' he calls her better - hitch their ride to your man the near-pyschopathic eye-patch wearing protagonist and his droogie, the government scientits.  One-eyed's wife wants to go to Manitoba until the Apocalypse smooths over but of course no one listens to her and they all go instead to the Lake district, killing every swinging dick who tries / to slow them down, 'I wouldn't go ' a traffic cop on the way says it better, 'to Leeds / at all.'

                'For Christ's sakes' the saucy hithhiker riding bitch says it better to your man the Cockney mechanic, who's driving them both around Leeds now in a Rolls Royce for reasons that remain unclear, 'they've all seen / knockers before' as your man the cockney mechanic sits / and stews.  Soon enough leather-clad gangs are taking turns of the old in / out with the Manitoba mom and her daughter in the shrubs after kidnapping them, 'the guilty don't deserve to die' your man the Cockney mechanic says it better as he takes turns executing these ersthile rapists, 'as quickly as / the innocent', it's as good / a slogan as any Cin supposes, the narrative goes on like this, 'we would have been safe' Manitoba Mom says it better, and truer words were never / spoken 'if we had all gone / to Canada.'

                Course we haven't seen the last of the Mad Max North motorcycle gang, what's after coming after out protoganists now with their helmets with the protruding bulls horns, 'everything's different now boys' cross-eyed says it better to his son and his boarding-school friend, also along for the ride, 'we have to fight / to live'.  This is hardly news to Cin - fight to live / live to fight is the slogan on his leather jacket - but for our protagonists in 'No Blades of Grass', the fight is just / beginning.

                Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and living under / a ®ock.