Oct 15, 2022 the side of / your plate .

  Oct 15, 2022 the side of / your plate .

What it is in Mr. Popper’s Penguins (hooker please, -id.) - muted that five-lettered wordle of (t)his Saturday after before during and after it becomes another Sadurday Night and I Ain’t Got Nobody, for the obvious, and not-so-obvious / reasons - is that (y)our man-child the actor Jim Carrey, trying / and failing to tackle a serious role, instead of horsing around with various animals morning noon and night because Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, ends up instead in this one inheriting six penguins and installing them in his New York City Baby penthouse apartment as he tries / and fails to Reunite(d) and it How Does It Feels so Good his fractured pre-penguins family because why mess with what / works, Mr. Popper’s Penguins (that’s enough, -id.) muted is all / we gots.

‘Mummy, mummy’ (y)our (wo)man the Mummy’s (wo)man-child delivers today’s set-up line to the Mummy of (t)his Shocktober 15 edition of the on-line alarmclock.net on-line  joke / du jour, ‘I hate daddy’s / guts’, to which (y)our (wo)man the Mummy replies, ‘then push them’ of course with the punch-line, ‘to the side of / your plate’, today’s sight gag at alarmclock.net - free ! flog, ideal for those moments when you either don’t know and don’t care where your cell phone / portable alarm clock is at, and / or you know where it is in your bedroom up in here but you daren’t go in there to fetch it because god forbid you wake up those little dirtbags the pandemicats Dr . Jekyll and Mr. Hyde pretending to sleep on / your bed, innit god and then everyone’s (k)needy / and awkward -  and there is always / a sight gag, is the one with (y)our (wo)man the Mummy, all kinds of wrapped up / in priceless Egyptian burying cloth as they are, ‘dropping’, as (y)our (wo)man the Major one of their previous (wo)managers at work that four-lettered word described it better, and more / than once, in meetings with contractors no less, ‘a deuce’, and isn’t the thoughtless hu(wo)man in the stall next to the Mummy in the sight gag after mistaking one of (y)our (wo)man the Mummy’s loose / strands of trailing Egyption cloth for ‘TP’,  toilet paper, (y)our man-child Beavis of Beavis and Butthead cinfamy,  ‘for / my bunghole’ from the other side of the shitter partition in this sight gag, to which (y)our (wo)an the Mummy, distraught, goes of course, ‘oh no, oh / no!’, before during and after watching herself literally fall / apart as her centuries-old Egyptian burying cloth is mistaken for TP by the thoughtless hu(wo)man in the crapper next door before during and after dropping / a deuce, ‘I took one step in there’, (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This THing Back to Baltime-moires and the side / of your plate said it better of his own recent and poor decision to use the uni-sex or both-sexes or un-sexed or whatever the hell it is now tranny  washroom (hooker please, -id.)  at the Student Centre building at the(ir) Alma Mater Shiretown College down in the 802 just two short weeks ago, expecting in retrospect perhaps at the very least a cingle  room with a lock / on the door or somefink, but cinstead finding of course an otherwise roomy washroom with no end / of stalls and no locks at all but rather an elevnequaratween or twenty-something co-ed washing / her hands at the sink before during and after taking / a leak or dropping / a deuce (that’s enough, -id.)  , ‘and walked straight / out’, having no idea how to comport (y)ourselves in such a situation in the uni-sex multi-stall washroom at the Shiretown College Student Centre down in the 802 because 20th century (wo)man, ‘I pissed’ (y)our man Cin’s  good friend and erstwhile roomie from back in the 20th in New Jack City Jenke said it better and apropos that time that the both of them were Reunited and It How Does It Feels So Good along with the rest of them at the(ir) Club Midd 25th Year (Jesus Christ, innit Electrified JC) Reunion as of late, or anyway in the last decade or so, innit Jenke, , and we were billetted like the Freshmen that we once were again in the U$ 200.00 / night Freshman College Dorm, along with the other co-eds in the now-co-ed college dorm because 21st century (wo)man and all / that, and us again with no idea of how to take a / leak or drop / a deuce without having the silent and fire alarms as usual pulled by (y)our (wo)men our neighbors the  co-eds in the(ir) co-ed dorm, ‘in the trash can in my room / instead’,  (k)needy / and awkward is all / we gots.

Course all of these (k)needy / and awkward uni-sex bathroomm faux-pas moments pale(d) / in comparison to the look that (y)our man Johnny Mo got before during and after - before during and after somehow managing to invite himself and (y)our man the Third Mouseketeer Sassy at the(ir) Shiretown College Rugby Club 50th anniversary two week-ends ago down in the 802 because 50 is the new / 70 of that cinfamous another Sadurday night and I Ain’t Got Nobody, (y)our man Cin the third Mousketeer having earlier taken (y)our (wo)man the(ir) faithful stead for the week-end the one-time Pennsylvania State Trooper Dodge Charger, now painted over a la Bluesmobile but still unmistakably a cop car back to / the(ir) room at the  Shiretown Inn before during and after that cinfamous Rugby Club Anniversary with No Singing party out in Cornholio (hooker please, -id., it’s Cornwall) earlier in the evening   -  dropping the cinfamous pick-up / ice-breaking line ‘I like / your top’ to the co-ed at the party, who,  unaccustomed evidently to pick-up or ice-breaking lines from fellow-elevenquarantweens or the likes of older gentlemen like (y)our man Johnny Mo either,   immediately took three steps backwards and then walked / away, smiling / politely, ‘Billy Corgan’ (y)our man the rock-star of the same name introduces himself and the name of his rock group both in that Simpsons’ episode Homerpalooza, ‘Smashing / Pumpkins’, to which (y)our man Homer J. Simpson as always replies better, ’Homer Simpson’  having no idea who he’s talking to, even at the very rock festival named after him, ‘smiling / politely’, pick-up or ice-breaking lines is all / we gots.

It was of course the 802’s version of Homerpalooza - ‘Sassapalooza’ - named in honour of  the originator and organizer of the same, (y)our man Sassy, the third Mousekeeter along with (y)our men Cin and Johnny Moto to make up, along with (y)our man Ballsworth, a giant of a rugger and a member of the cinfamous 1990-1991 cohort that made up the Shiretown College Rugby Club back in the 2oth on which (y)our man Cin played as well and who made up the fourth and final member of the 1990s contingent at the Shiretown College Rugby Club’s 50 is the new 70 Anniversary ,  that had drawn (y)our man Cin back  down to the 802 only  two months / earlier because Brassaplalooza more of a Summer event, before during and after receiving not only the standard e-mail or evite thing but also a phone call from (y)our man Sassy to attend the one-night rock concert named after him, ‘this little town is like an itch’ (y)our man Cin said it better and apropos how (y)our men the Three Mousketeers, otherwise sort-of-worldly-enough, seemed to be drawn morning noon and night, or certainly more often than most of their cohorts and graduating classmates, back to tiny Shiretown, for various weddings, for Re-United and It How Does It Feels So Good Reunions, for Brassalaloozas, for 50 is the new 70 Shiretown College Rugby Club Anniversaries,  ‘that we can’t quite / scratch’, trying and failing msot likely to capture what (y)our man Johnny Mo craftily if darkly-enough called better the ‘only good four years’ of (y)our lives’, an itch that you can’t quite scratch is all / we gots.     

Course the entirety of the 1990s contingent at a celebration ostensibly held for ruggers of all of the decades from the 1970s to the 2020s, and well-attended by ruggers of all of the decades except for the ‘90s for some reason - shame that five-lettered word most likely - seemed to be made up only of (y)our men the protagonists of the piece the Three Mousketeers, namely (y)our men Cin, Johnny Moto, and Sassapalooza, as well as imported talent from the Northeast Kingdom the legend and hulking rugger Ballsworth, with only (y)our man Ballsworth organinizized-enough to have RSVP’ed by e-mail or whatnot - ‘I gots to get’, (y)our man Robert de Niro as Travis Bickle says it better in Scorcese’s immor(t)al Taxi Driver, trying and failing to impress co-star Sybill Shephard, and who / can blame him,  ‘organizized’ -  and so we just cinvited / (y)ourselves as we do, ‘we stood at the front door of the fraternity with empty beer cups’, (y)our man Cin said it better apropos that time that we did just / that before during and after our Away match at Colby College in Maine, innit Andy, ‘and charged / admission’, the fratbros inside and out and hosting the party at the(ir) chapter house unaware of the scam, until they / weren’t, and then all Hell broke / loose as it does, the cinfamous 1990-1991 cohort that made up the Shiretown College Rugby Club back in the 2oth is all / we gots.    

Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltime-moires and the side of / your plate.