Apr 1, 2024 Manchu Pichu

 Apr 1, 2024 Manchu Pichu 

 

What it is in (t)his April Fool’s Day film is that it’s Amazon River Day up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on here on Amazon Prime - this one based on ‘ a true story’ as we do and about an Israeli student ‘out to see / the world’ and played by Harry Potter’s Daniel Radcliffe in (t)hs film Jungle, and (t)his sidekick this time around rather than one of the Baginseseseseseses (wrong franchise, right actor, -id(iot).) is an aggravating Euro, a Swiss teacher on sabbatical as we do , a true story is all / we gots.

 

Course ‘anyone can see’, (y)our man Bilbo mansplains the same better to his fellow backpackers at the hostel - (t)here’s (y)our first hint of how things are going to turn out for (y)our men the protagonists - ‘Monchu / Picho’, but that it takes a more intrepid type of Euros to be after going into the damn jungle, bitches, and so off / they go, ‘we are nothing’ (y)our (Ger)man the head German hitchhiker mansplains the same to Frodo and the rest of the wandering Baginseseses (that’s enough, -id.) , ‘we are / a joke’ that four-lettered word, and apropos how weak are us hu(wo)maneseseseses in the face of the terrifying hydro power of the titular rainforest, ‘God’, (y)our (uber)man the head Europudding backpacker ends / his tirade better as we do, innit god, ‘fucked / up’, Monchu Picho is all / we gots.

 

Meanwhile and back on the Northern half of the America continent it’s somehow a matter of the elevenseseses for Regime Zero up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here, Regime Zero the ‘April Fools ‘ Day joke’, (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and Manchu Pichu described it better before during and after the early days and years and decade of Regime Zero, ‘that never / ends’, though it (must) be better / now because elevenseses, ‘here’s to six miserable months on / the wagon’ - What Would a jonesing and hallucinatin’ Jack Say as John Torrence to (y)our (bar)man the imaginary barkeep Lloyd in the Overlook Hotel’s Gold Room in Kubrick’s movie take on your The Shining, innit Mr. King - ‘and all of the (ir)reparable / harm that it’s caused me’, jonesing and hallucinatin’ is all / we gots.

 

Course the Amazon rainforest pumas to be found and videed in the jungle from this horror (of a) movie of the same name - donde son las elevenquarantweenscreamqueens in this movie to lighten up the endlessnessnesseseses of these all-male Eurohobbits’ in(s)ane conversations along the banks of the mighty Amazon and along the lines of unwisely splitting up / the team as we do by going back to ‘Lake Titty Kaka’ because planter fasciitis and all / that, and before during and after the local snakes and ‘gators and crocidiles are scheduled surely to eat / them Baginseseseseses all up ? - have nothing on (y)our men the pandemicats Abbott and Costello up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in Luksvegas on the Quebec side, sitting / sentry as we do on the bed and as the(ir) ‘hu(wo)man’, and even as (y)our man Cin, as we puny hu(wo)mans apparently should describe and think of ourselves when it comes to our relationshipseseseses to cats / and dogs and all things / nature, sits up on his pillow and hulk-smashes away at (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and Lake Titi Kaka, relationshipseseseses is all / we gots.

 

And wasn’t (y)our man Cin after jonesing and hallalucinatin’ himself the other day because too much / Color, the name of the latest (dime) bag of weed that four-lettered word that he was after cinhaling because the elvenseseseses of Regime Zero and now (y)our man Cin in (over)compensation a ‘loner’, (y)our man da thug high school bully character calls his sensitive (until he isn’t) classmate in that film better in Nicolas Roeg’s The Place Beyond the Pines, ‘stoner’, seeing as there’s damn near no one out here because country, and the last time that he smoked with a neighbor he toppled over because stage fright, ‘I smoked some wheelchair weed’, (y)our man Cin and the(ir) neighbor both agreed on the cover story for the events of that day as we do, ‘and fell out / my wheelchair’, a jonesing and hallucinatin’ is all / we gots.

 

What it is is that two eveningseseseseseses ago - and before during and after hulk-smashing away at a Saturday after before during and after it becomes Another Sadurday Night and I Ain’t Got Nobody edition of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and the Shire - is that (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of the same was after mistaking the rock which marks the far Southwest corner of the(ir) Noslouc pandemic house up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out in here in Luksvegas on the Quebec side for a cat ! because high Easter sun and high on Color, and wasn’t (y)our man the(ir) pandemicat General Meow after staring at it as though it was a new Tom to contend with up in here, there’s even a video of it so’s that you can judge for yourself, ‘a blonde / cat’ is all / we gots.

 

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth isn’t (y)our (spider)man Tobey Maguire after finding himself stuck in some of that quicksand in (t)his eleven o’clock number of Jungle , ‘don’t’ - our diminutive hero manages Sam Wise-ly enough (hooker please, -id.) to convince himself of the best ( and only ?) means of extraction from the same - ‘move’, and so he does(n’t), managing to extricate himself from the quicksand by hauling himself out by clutching the nearby tree leaf s l o w l y and by using him some of that Baginseseseses’ willpower and Hogworts’ magic both, but not of course before during and after being damn near eaten / alive by some of them flesh-eating red carpenter ants, innit carpenter JC (and Happy Death Day !) , and thinking of eating a nearby turtle but then thinking better of it because Frodo, Course there’s no end of swelling violin music to follow in (The) Jungle (Book) even before during and after the eleven o’clock number, and here’s (y)our man an emaciated Frodo Baggins because 17 days lost on the river after being found by his bestie on the banks of the same, accompanied by the local river guide who had only minutes ago made the universal ‘coo coo for cocoa puffs’ gesture to his bestie, and calling him a ‘loco gringo’ as we do before during and after changing / his mind and heading up river with the crazy gringo after all, ‘you saved / my life’ (y)our mud-caked man(iac) manages to croak to his bestie better, and ‘you saved’ (y)our man the bestie manages to croak / back, ‘mine’, before during and after a montage of slides of the For Realz people from this ®ockumenta®y plays over the end credits - turns out that they were besties for realz ! and one of them even runs an Ecolodge where once the fire ants damn near carpentered anted him / to death that five-lettered wordle, innit carpenter - Worst The Endi(ing) Ever is all / we gots.

 

Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and carpenter ant-ed to death.