Jun 15, 2025 Affectionate / and afraid

 Jun 15, 2025        Affectionate / and afraid 

 

Of all of the father(hood)s up on out on up on out on up on on out on up on out on up on out (t)here, it’s Happy Father’s Day up on out on up on out on up on on out on up on out on up on out (t)here - alive that five-lettered wordle and RIP / both - that (y)our man Cin the humbel(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and affection / and afraid is after wishing of (t)his fine Sunday after before during and after it becomes a fine Sunday evening up on out on up on out on up on on out on up on out on up / the Valley as we do, up on out on up on out on up on on out on up on out on up in here is all / we gots.

 

Course it’s all of it a little / contrived and Hallmark-y as we do - ‘ the busiest night of the year’, (y)our man the GOAT bartender of all / time Les said it better to who(m)ever would listen at his immor(t)al restaurant Agave in O-Town, ‘ is (s)Mother’s day’ (hooker please, -id.) because guilt that five-lettered wordle, ‘and the slowest night is Father’s Day’ because everyone is after (m)eating their How Does It Feelings at home that four-lettered word (that’s enough, -id.) and making the  guest / of honour on Father’s Day man pardon the pun / the bar-b-que or whatever other form of terribly bourgeois hell that four-lettered word (that’s enough, -id.) awaits fathers (un)fortunate enough tto have their own day named after them , ‘that the fuck / is that?’, (y)our man Robert de Niro as the bank robber Neal McAully akses Al Pacino’s LAPDetective in the director Michael Mann’s immor(t)al movie Heat and apropos / the same, ‘ballparks / and burgers? ‘ - but still and all it’s a nice time to have a day named in your honour, not 50-50 weather like for QUeen Victoria Day in May, and not like Christmas in the middle of a Valley winter like for your birthday innit Electrified JC, ‘too crazy for Boystown’, (y)our man(child) Bart Simpson’s prognosis had it better before during and after one of his man many many episodes on The Simpsons, ‘too much of / a boy for Crazytown’, ballparks / and burgers is all / we gots. 

 

‘Gavolch, then’, (y)our man Cin (m) / (s) / uttered it better earlier this after to (y)our man the(ir) father Noslouc, RIP five (5) years ago (!) - borrowing as we do a line from the Coen brother’s immor(t)al film Miller’s Crossing where the protagonist of the same Tom Regan as played by the actor Gabriel Byrne says / the same to (y)our man the Chief of Po-lice in the unnamed town where the movie is set, and (y)our (Irish)man Cin figures that it must be an Irish versions of ‘cheers’ because both men in the scene is Irish, too - ‘Da’, before during and after doing something, anything, to honour the memory of (y)our Da as we do, namely paddling the(ir) new-ish Noslouc canoe up the Ottawa River to see if the(ir) neighbors DB and his family were there as we do because a linear hour paddle up the river to their place and an hour / back, give or take an hour, Gavolch, then Da is all / we gots.

 

Course DB and family were not at their place an hour’s paddle West from up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here along the mighty Ottawa River here in Luksvegas - or so (y)our man Cin surmises because no one rushed out / to greet him on the(ir) dock before during and after he pulled up to the same and then chugged a Corona ‘ Cero ‘ placebeer (free ! flog forever, like all palcebeers they’re ‘a’right’, (y)our man Cin says it better and apropos the proliferation of placebeers on the market these days becasue Regime Zero, ‘if you drink ‘ em fast / enough’) becasue hot / as hell up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here, ‘some folks call it hell’, (y)our man Slingblade as played by the actor Billy Bob THorton in his immor(t)al movie of the same name (m) / (st) utters it better, and more / than once in that movie, “ I call it ‘ Hades” ’  - though you can’t know / for sure if anyone is ever at home or not, seeing as staggeringly enough of a beautiful Sunday after like today you can count on one hand the number of folks in their river-side homes and chalets actually visible and enjoying / the same outdoors as we do, unless you go up the stairs along the river to the house and sometimes leave / a note addressed to the mighty family dog the Malamute Dawson as we do and as a calling card for a failed canoe visit, ‘thank you’ the version of the equivalent of another Hallmark-y holiday, Christmas (hooker please, -id.), for which (y)our man Cin sees fit to sign a Hallmark Card and expressing his How Does It Feelings through the intermediary of an animal as we do, and these ones given to (y)our (wo)man the(ir) Ma Noslouc and hRRissUe both becasue pandemic housemates up on out on up o out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in Luksvegas with (y)our man Cin and (y)our man the(ir) pandemicat General Meow, and signed in these cases by General Meow and a pawprint, ‘for hearing me-ow’, this line cribbed and felined of course from the Sinead O’Connor RIP dirge of the same name, and avoiding (y)our man Cin from having to go all / emo and all / that and expressing his own How DOes It Feelings to his housemates becasue emotionally constipated (hooker please, -id.), and (t)his use of the animals goes back decades in the Noslouc family and he suspects countless other families, where a domestic animal is allowed to deliver lines that no hu(wo)man member of the family would ever / dare because beyond / the pale that four-lettered word, ‘nice’, (y)our (back door)man Beetlejuice as played by the actor Michel Keaton says it better and to exemplify / the same in the TIm Burton of the same name, brabbing / his nuts that four-lettered word as we do as he does so, ‘fuckin’ / house’, a’right if you drink ‘ em fast / enough is all / we gots.

 

‘Affectionate’, (y)our (French)man the composer Lizet (?) from back in the 19th’s youthful love wrote it better to Lizet before during and after breaking / his heart that five lettered wordle and blue-balling him as we do - she was the daughter of (y)our (French)(wo)man a Parisian salon owner back in the 19th, at least according to the Ceebs’ Sunday after radio programming which got (y)our man Cin through (t)his first paddle of / the year, which was closer to three hours than two as we do because smoking a cracker at the half-way point before during and after (t)his customary visit-by-canoe to the absent Bs and then meandering / home - and as part of her Dear John letter to Lizet describing her tepid that five-lettered wordle How Does It Feelings for him (or a ‘John Deere letter’, as (y)our man(child) one fo the titular Dumb and Dumber characters from the Farrell brothers immor(t)al movie of the same name calls it better), and ‘afraid’, this Dear John letter a variation on the theme that (y)our man Cin and his College sweetheart sent to him thirty-plus (!) years ago, saying she was ‘fond’ that four-lettered word of him, and putting / to rest her decision to be made as to whether to ® / © / (v) / (d) / (cl) / (gl) / (l) amp up their torrid-at-the-time for the ‘90s relationship or not, and replying as we do to what (y)our man Cin imagines to be (y)our (French)man Lizet’s impassioned love letters to his amour the salon-keeper’s daughter, though apparently the two did marry according to the Ceebs but then split up because too / torrid, and an equivalent of Cin’s letters to his College sweetheart, which cribbed from (y)our (Scots)man Rod Stewart’s immor(t)al tune and album Every Picture Tells  a Story, admitting for the both of them that ‘I couldn’t quote you no Shakespeare, Shelley, or Keats  / ‘cause it’s all been said / before’, but all of (t)his cribbing from Rod Stewart as well as the Romantics to no / avail that five-lettered after all, ‘if I knew you were going to pour out our How Does It Feelings’, (y)our (IRishman) the actor Gabriel Byrne playing Tom Regan in the Coen brother’s Miller’s Crossing says it better in his own version of a reverse Dear John / John Deere letter in that movie, or words anyway to that / extent, ‘I would have memorized the Song / of Solomon’,   too / torrid  is all / we gots 

 

Course it was the neighbors’ son’s - or after the(ir) son’s Dirty THirty birthday party last night just ‘ the neighbor’, one supposes because you’re a (wo)man / now - .Dirty Thirty birthday party last night up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in Luksvegas, replete with live band, and following as we do last week-end’s Dirty THirty Midd college reunion, and BTW both bands played the immor(t)al Tom Cochrane anthem ‘ Life is a Highway ‘, you’d be glad / to know, innit JMT, seeing as (y)our man Cin neglected to ennumerate that song amongst the ones from last week-end that you didn’t care for becasue terribly bourgeois and ‘ lily white’ that five-lettered wordle and not up to the immor(t)al Jam band from back in the 20th The Arrival of Horatio’s high standards from two GTIFFriday nights ago, innit G, otherwise quoting no Shakepseare, Shelley or Keats is all / we gots.

 

‘Well that’s not’, (y)our man Cin (m) / (st) uttered it better last night to (y)our (wo)man hRiSsuE, before during and after crashing the(ir) neighbor’s Dirty Thirty birthday party as we do because why / not and (cin)discreet entrance by the(ir) shared beach that five-lettered wordle and being approached by a red-hot apparition and the host(ess) with the mostest of the thing from the looks / of it - one of several millenials (?) who were friendlier than expected, and even were able to introduce themselves and to converse even for a red-hot minute or minute and a half - ‘the gay / one’, (hooker please, -id.) referring as we do to the neighbors’ four sons, one of whom is binary that six-lettered wordler (that’s enough, -id.), (cin)discreet is all / we gots.

Course in the way of these things and given the pattern and coincidence of two consecutive Dirty THirty events - the Shiretown College Dirty THirty (‘plus deux’, (y)our man Cin tried and failed to mansplain his presence at last wek-end’s Cl / Br / ass of 1995 reunion even though he graduated more-or-less in 1993) last week-end and the neighbor’s Millenial Dirty THirty birthday beach party last night - and both including Tom Cochrane’s immor(t)al tune ‘Life is a Highway’, it was perhaps cinevitable that it was (y)our (wo)man his College love that four-lettered word (hooker please, -id.), and addressee of (y)our man’s Cin’s trying and failing to mansplain his How Does It Feelings John Deere letters at the time to her (and who was present at last week’s Dirty Thirty reunion and who(m) (y)our man in retrospect did see at the TGIFFriday night Arrival of Horatio renunion concert but affected / not to as we do or anyway did as College Midd Kidds thirty years ago because assholes playing ignore me-ignore you , innit G, ‘the thirty year people’, (y)our (wo)man the tour guide of the(ir) twnety-five year reunion confirmed the same before during and after pausing / her tour as we do at whatever ungodly hour it was , innit god (that’s enough blaspheme, -id.), and pausing the group at some noteworthy tree immediatley outside (y)our man Cin’s U$200.00 for the night first-floor dorm room allocated to him for that august reunion, ‘are still / catty’, apparently by the fortieth no one cares / or remembers) who appeared again in his dream that five-lettered wordle last night as we do becasue everything tehnicolor back in the 20th and you can’t spell melodramatic without emo then / and now, ‘she broke’, (y)our man Cin tried and failed to mansplain the(ir) history better to (y)our man his host Brassapalaaoza last week-end, who was unaware of the same back in the 20th but who gave (y)our man Cin some mad credit upon learning of it thirty dirty years later, ‘my heart’, thirty dirty years later is all / we gots.

 

One of the few benefits of getting old / as fuck up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here - along with seeing non-existent patterns / to things which are spolier alert all rando  / galore - is that you have no choice but to delete all non-spank bank (hooker please, -id.) data from your the hard drive that passes for (y)our mind that four-lettered word because all full / up, ‘it’s a gauge starting / at empty’, (y)our man Robert de Niro’s head gangster Neal McAully tries and fails to mansplain to the object of his desire, thirty years his junior in off-screen life becasue Hollyweird, in the director Michael Mann’s crime epic of a film Heat, ‘and going the other / way’, and wasn’t (y)our (wo)man his college sweetheart’s cameo that five-lettered wordle last night up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in what’s left of (y)our man and humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and affectionate / and afraid forgotten almost as quickly as he remembered it, and he remembers quite a few of her cameos before during and after the(ir) Dirty Thirties, technicolor then / as now is all / we gots.

Thank you for reading (t)his Take THis Thing Back to Balti-memoires and technicolor .