2016-08-04 ‘Did you ever get / that ?’

 

2016-08-04 ‘Did you ever get / that ?’ 

 

Behold / the ®iking – ‘a ®ugger’, (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and did you ever get / that wrote in better in his cinvite some three months ago to the third annual Viking Wa® Hall, ‘and a Viking / both’, a ®ugger and a Viking both is all / we gots, innit pe®fesser. 

 

He riseth early-ish of a mou®ning – ‘you wouldn’t want to be working’ Cin said it better, ‘the night / shift’ of the multiple oh-seven hundred mou®ning cinstruction alarms, jack-hammers, earth movers and dynamiters (oh please hooker -id.) to beat / the band that roar up their engines each and every work day around the cindominium, not to mention his own three digital alarms, (y)our (wo)men (t)his ZTE flip phone, the buzzing ©rackberry and Tosh / the laptop, all configured to do / the same, ‘three alarms’ the quadriplegic ex-bank robber says it better in Michael Mann’s crime epic of a film from back in the 20^th Heat, to de Niro’s Neal McAuley of the security systems of their latest / s©ore  ‘two telcos and / a cellular’ - mighty are / his preparations.

 

‘I pray’ ©arrie’s mother prays it better in the immor(t)al Brian de Palma movie version of your book of the same name, innit Mr. King, to one of her neighborhood MILF solicitation s©ores, ‘you find Jesus’, losing a proposition somewhere along / the way, losing a proposition somewhere along / the way is all / we gots.  ‘Cins’ ©arrie’s mother’s book chapter titles itself better as she bit©h-slaps daughter ©arrie with it as punishment for ©arrie’s having had her pe®iod not to mention her di®ty pillows, ‘of women’ (you wish -id.) only of course it’s ‘Sins / of Women’. 

 

Good times, course this being a Thi®stday and they don’t any / more or any / less hi®stier because Regime zero (nice triple negative p®oposition, School House ®ock -id.) – ‘Jeu-d®edi’ a fellow ©ubicomber called  the end of the work week better, hyphenating the French ‘jeudi’, Thi®stday, and ‘vendredi’, TGIFF®iday, innit G, into one double-day, the better to hurry along the demise of this wo®k week, ‘I’m off’  a fellow-©ubicomber and early week-ender said it better, ‘to TGIThi®stdays’ only of course it was ‘to TGIThursdays’ ( or was it?) - your man the ®iking  was in no hurry to leave the cindominium, and plus it was ‘hot’ the d.j. at ©hez 106 used to describe the meteorological cinditions  (oh please hooker -id.) better as we mowed lawns at Noslouc Landscaping back in the day, innit Itt, ‘hazy / and humid’, hot, hazy / and humid is all / we gots.

 

‘Fire’ was your man the ®iking’s first - and second, and third – (m)utterance out his wo®dhole this mou®ning in the ©ubicombs, aping your men Beavis and / or Butthead as his is wont before during and after each of the endless screams of sirens blaring that are the soundtra©k to their life in the ©ubicombs, ‘fire, fire’.

 

 What it is is that one of the emergencies – ‘urgent’ reads the subje©t line of a good 75 percint of the dozens of e-mails that flood daily his ©inbox (oh please hooker -id.) vying and failing to vye for / his attention, vying and failing to vye for / his attention is all / we gots, ‘it’s like’ Cin said it better to a colleague of his current ©ubicomber gig, ‘juggling / ©hainsaws’, only there’s nothing ‘like’ / about it, juggling ©hainsaws is all  / we gots – at the ©ubicombs this mou®ning involved a fire of some kind, the details of which went in one ear and out / the other as son as Cin was told that it had been taken care of, in one ear and out / the other as son as Cin was told that it’s taken care of is all / we gots.

 

Meanwhile the soundtra©k to Carrie is vintage de Palma (oh please hooker, thank / the ©omposer for the music, only John Carpenter and maybe Rob Zombie write / s©ores as directors innit Cash) – ‘he watched it once’ your man de Palma said it better in the movie of the same name that Cin videed last Thi®stday evening and I ain’t Got Nobody (that was two Thi®stday evenings and I ain’t Got Nobody ago -id.) of his films’ music composer, ‘and then went home and wrote / the s©ore’, watching it once and then going home and writing the s©ore is all / we gots, ‘you only’ Pacino’s Scarface says it better in that immor(tde Palma classic of the same name as he and his fellow assassins stake out the UN for their latest s©ore, ‘have to tell me / once’.

         

Course soundtra©ks change before during and after the audeeing and videeing of a movie to suit / the ambience – ‘to the devil’ your man the a©tor playing Tommy Ross in Carrie, also of course the d®eamboat who played the G®eatest Ameri©an He®o  in that TV series of the same name, says it better to Sissy Spacek, who also played the coal miner’s daughter in that movie of the same name, as the two vote for themselves as the high school graduation dance King / and Queen as we do, innit Sarah Garner, ‘with false / modesty’ – and sure enough who shows up but / the devil that five-lettered wordle, and the high school auditorium is soon bathed in blood by ©arrie in the eleven o’©lock number as we do, (y)our (wo)man our p®otagonista quite possibly still (if your man the Cin ®iking and humble (d) narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and bathed / in blood is not cincorrect in his understanding of lady pa®ts, which he may well / certainly be / is on / the ®ag (that’s enough -id.), to the devil with false modesty is all / we gots.         

                   

          Course your man de Palma went on and on and on about this films and his others in that hagiog®aphy / movie of the same name - directed and / or produced by your men Jake Gylanthaal (little help ?) and some other indie / dude / director and / or producer - and bad-mouthed some of his actors / to boot, your man Bob deNiro as Al Capone in The Untouchables showed up on-set without memorizing his lines as we do, can you / imagine, and of course the directors and / or producers of these rockumentaries and hagiog®aphies are constantly running out of money and / or bitching about the suits / at Pa®amount, directed by Jake is all / we gots.

 

          Meanwhile back in the ©ubicombs, your man the Riking and humble(d) narrator (‘did you ever’ your (wo)man his athletic the®apist aksed him better earlier this Thi®stday evening, this after he pointed to the cinnocous-looking battery that two evenings ago hooked up to your man the a©©uuncturists’ needles, used to shock ©in’s atrophying one-a®med bandit muscles, and Cin claimed that it was for ‘ele©troshock / the®apy’, ‘get / that?’) rifled through his various Cinboxes, looking for some kind of acknowledgement of his cinvitation of three months ago to the Thi®d Viking Wa® Hall, innit perfesser.

 

          Finding none, and as the damn thing is ‘assupossed to be tomorrow - as your man Danny Torrence in Kubrisk’s take on your The Shining knows that he is ‘not ‘assupposed to’ go into Room 237 of the Overlook Hotel, innit Mr. King, but does / anyway – Cin hulk-smashed away with wild abandon at all of his u®gent e-mails, and more than once had to go into his Outbox to remove some off-color remarks that were a little on / the nose, going into his Outbox to remove some off-color remarks that are a little on / the nose is all / we gots.

 

         ‘Did I’ Cin hulk-smashed away, then thought better of it, as part of his follow-up cinvitation to the Thi®d Annual Viking Wa® Hall, innit pe®fesser, of his ostensible fellow Vikings and / or ®ikings’ radio silence to his original cinvitation, ‘stutter ?’, ‘you want me’ Pacino’s Tony Montana akses it better of fellow gangster Hector in de Palma’s Scarface as the two meet cute in a Miami hotel room but get tripped up in gangster niceties, ‘to leave, and then we’ll try / again?’, leaving and then trying / again is all / we gots, ‘try’ Beckett wrote it better, ‘fail,  try again, fail / better’, failing / better is all / we gots.

 

         ‘Are they’ his athletic the®apist aksed it better this evening, after Cin spilt his guts as usual and she spilt / hers, of his ostensible bewilderment at the ®adio silence of his fellow Vikings and / or ®ikings, ‘guys?’ and of course this is the million-dollar question, innit perfesser, there’s about a 20 % chance that the Noslouc (read it better like Danny Torrence in The Shining spelling ‘redrum’ in the mirror innit Mr. King, hopefully that touch / was yours, the rest of Kubrick’s film you cinfamously / dissed) family Inn will be cinundated by the arrival of Vikings and / or Rikings tomorrow and / or the next day, and that Cin will be after having to play planes, trains and automobiles to get himself up there to play / host.

 

         Good times, course god forbid he should ever cinsider sending a follow-up cinvitation and / or save / the date e-mail, innit god, ‘my ego’ he cinfessed it better to his Athletic The®apist better earlier this evening, ‘won’t / allow it’ (yeah that guy is an asshole -id.).  

 

‘The first sin’ ©arrie’s mother prolestheticizes it (little help, why does he pay you $10.00 a month for Wo®d and Offi©e in / the ©loud, innit Mr.Gates ? -id.) better to her shrieking daughter - who will soon get hers back after the film’s eleven o’©lock number and bloodbath when she crucifies her mother with every sharp and pointy utensil from the kitchen and a couple from the looks of it from ©arrie’s time-out ®oom and erstwhile shrine underneath the stairs as well, innit Electrified JC (hooker please, -id.) - ‘was / intercourse’, his first cintercourse since Christ was a cowboy is all / we gots. 

 

Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to Baltime-moires and behold / the riking.