9/16/14
‘It’s’ Bono and the
boys sings it better, ‘a beautiful / day’, and so it / is. After trying and sometimes succeeding in
d®inking this Dog and Pony Show / pretty – “I take out his picture’ the
country-strong lady said it better of her husband’s picture, as the punch-line
of the ©rash-Up De®by M.C.’s joke earlier this month down the road from here,
after being aksed by the bartender how comes she looks in her wallet before
ordering / another, ‘to see if he’s any / handsomer’ – Cin decided to think
himself / si©k this morning, ‘better’ he wrote it better in his second e-mail
after e-mailing in / ‘sad’ this morning to wo®k, ‘upgrade that to calling in /
sick’, e-mailing in / sad this morning is all / we gots.
Yes dear reader behold
/ the (F) / (B) / (S) / Plan (C) loggist, mighty are / his preparations, inni
It. he threw ©aution to the wind this
morning, throwing ©aution to the wind is all / we gots. Other than the various afflictions of which
he has been accused of having, he is rarely / ill, ‘and when I am’, he told an
alarmed Sergeant Major in the elevator earlier this month, ‘it’s violent / ill’
– only it was ‘violent’ he said of course - ‘you’ your man P. Diddy said it
better to actor Adrian Brody after reading some of Brody’s lyrics, ‘an ill /
cat.’.
Ill cats surround him
even now as he hulk-smashes away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore
me-moirs and (s) / (f) / (b) / plan (c) log this lovely September Tuesday
after, ‘they eat’ Cin said it better to the pet store owner yesterday evening
after work, making cinversation while picking up another bag of $60 cat food –
and having a second, smaller bag of $30 cat food thrown in for free for his
membership points, yes horro®egime Ze®o has Cin to ®etail-the®apying his way
into Platinum ©lub exclusive status at the ‘Pet Circus’ on O-Town’s Bank Street
– ‘a lot’, referring to these feral cats
who eat said food along with the city cats Itchy / and Scratchy out on up on
out on up out here in / the ©ountry.
“They expend’ the
clerk / owner answered this sad observation better, ‘more energy’, before Cin
went on a tirade about needing the second bag of cat food as he can’t not feed
the local feral cats when he videes them along with his ©ity ©ats, ‘they’re’ he
said it better of the local cats Two Socks and ®oFo, ‘needy’, before going on
and on to the stoned-looking guy about how Cin has to take ‘elaborate
counter-measures in the morning’ so as not to videe their needy looks and
meows, ‘they’re not’ an auntie said it better and approvingly of various other
human in-laws and out-laws with whom the aforementioned auntie and uncle were
considering moving in, ‘needy’, not needy is all / we gots.
It was a real ©ountry
after oh my droogies – ‘it was ®eal’ Malcolm Macdowell’s Little Alex narrates
it better in Kubrick’s take on Anthony Burgess’s A Clockwork Orange in
the driving at night scene of the same – ‘©ountry / da®k’. Despite his ©ock and bull stories – ‘they
have’ his fellow-sufferer said it hopefully not better during the Ten Day,
apropos Cin’s tales, ‘no / meaning’, before during and after recognizing that
he might have just earned the equivalent of his people’s Italian
‘vendetta’ to Cin’s I®ish ‘grudges’ that
Cin always used to (and still does –id) go on and on and on about, among them
Cin’s joke ‘did you hear the one about the Irishman with Alzheimer’s? He forgot
everything except / the grudge’, for his truthful if hurtful remarks, and then
saying so, ‘did no one ever tell you, sweetheart’ the I®A terrorist and
assassin-for-hire akses it better of Clive Owen’s protagonist in Robert
Rodriguez’s Sin City, ‘never give an I®ishman a reason for / a g®udge ?’
- Cin really is an ill / cat this after, he slept like in the Good (Bad –id.)
Old d®inking Days until 2:00 this after, after e-mailing in / sad, ‘the blood’
Mickey Rourke’s Marv remembers them better in Sin City, ‘by the bucket /
days.’
Course this didn’t
stop him from going to the local depanneur (corner store in Quebe© –id., often
attached to a garage, from the French ‘depanner’, to break / down), and
videeing a local eleven-teen with painted-on jeans and her droogie boyfriend
skipping school, or ly©ee, or whatnot.
Course Cin wasn’t expecting company of a Tuesday after at the depanneur
- ‘keeping hookers happy’ the back of his ®ugy ©lub / P®op ©lub t-shirt that he’s
wearing even now reads it better, innit Monsieur debonaire, ‘since 1859’ - ‘the
Lebanese’ his grandfather used to call that depanneur, innit It, they still
serve ice-cream cones up on out on up out there. Cin bought some pink pastry things for to
feed / his fever this after, as well as a six-pack of those little Coke bottles
as well, where he used to buy a six-pa©k of bee®, his immo®tal / beloved -
®egime ze®o like surviving your first love affai® gone / south, and it’s never
the same / afterwards - and then headed back here to hulk-smash away at this Take
This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (b) / (f) / (s) / (Plan C) log, ‘a
me-moirist’ someone described a young ‘un with a blog in the New / Yo®k / Times
earlier this week, hyphen / is Cin’s.
‘Coffee’ Cin said it
better when aksed of his recent weight-loss, ‘and stress’, and once in a while one
/ some / all of these things and Things catch up to him, and Cin has / to ‘call
in’, one of his many bartenders (f®ee ! flog, hopefully your many kids that Cin
helped to go to college didn’t have to drop out with the advent of ®egime ze®o)
said it better, ‘sad’. Reverse
water-boarding is another reason for weight loss – where you’re forced not / to
drink, or, ®egime ze®o – and ‘the opposite’ Cin has formulated his next line
for when someone akses him the same question, ‘of force-feeding’.
Good times, it’s okay,
during his years, probably (hooker please your picture is in / the di©tionary
for it –id.) ongoing, of being on double-se©ret p®obation, like the fraternity
brothers of the Alpha Alpha house in John Landis’ immortal Animal House,
Cin was ‘assupposed to get doctor’s notes for when he called in / sad, and so
as a result he never called in / sad, just for the sake of not giving that motherfu©ker
in management – ‘all that I could think about’ your man JMT said it better of
meeting the H® representative sent to check in on him and the progress of his
PIP / Pe®sonal Improvement Plan, ‘was grabbing her pen, and stabbing her in /
the neck’ - the satisfaction, and so has hundreds of accumulated hours to do so
/ now. Course the new management will
soon implement the same policy after failing to think of anything else to
follow than the Cubicombs’ playbook, but for now he’ll enjoy his day off, ‘I
don’t aks much’ Gabriel Byrne’s Tom Regan says it better to Albert Finney’s
boss Leo in the great Coen Brothers’ Miller’s Crossing, ‘and I don’t aks
/ often’, not aksing much and not aksing often is all / we gots.
‘And to what’ little
Alex askses it better of his M and P in Kubrick and Burgess’ A Clockwork
Orange, after they’ve shown up for a visit ‘this extreme / pleasure?’, and
so Cin akses the same this after now as a bewildered Cin is examined by your men the ©ity ©ats Itchy
and Scratchy, come by to eat from the third bowl of cat food outside up on out
on up on out up here so far, along with the local ©hat pe®dus, Two So©ks, and ®oFo
(that’s enough / ©opy®ighting –id.), this after a local type came by to collect
for his charity, coming around the corner of the house up on out on up on out
up here, and remarking by way of cintroduction that he thought that the acorns
falling from the tree onto the top of the tin shed when he got out his car were
‘gunshots’. ‘I wish’ Cin thought to
answer better, but too late, i.e. now, “I wish’ Marge Simpson says it better
after she visits the Italian mausoleum and hears about how they treat / their
deceased, ‘”I / were dead’.
Expecting Cin’s Da,
though funnily enough finding Cin up on out on up on out up here of a week-day
after, for the second year in a row – perhaps Cin has written this particular
‘calling in / sad’ edition of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs
and (f) / (b) / (s) / Plan (c) log before and on the exact same date, ‘I’m
having déjà vu’ your man Yogi Berra as always said it better, ‘all over / again’,
as of late Cin finds himself repeating yearly events, well, yearly - the
canvasser aksed Cin better ‘do you / remember me?’ ‘Oui, votre’ Cin replied truthfully enough,
not getting out of his chair, ‘charité’,
and so it was, the guy put on his most needy face and answered ‘mental /
health’.
Course Cin can’t say
no to the local cats, he surely couldn’t say no to this canvasser, he gave him
$20, his last, ‘mental health’ as a cause is like the fight against terrorism, ‘it’s an uphill battle, dawg’ Cin
wanted to tell him, ‘through a glass’ your man William Styron titled his
auto-biography and me-moris about depression better, ‘the bla©k’ Winston
Churchill called his version better, ‘dog’, Styron referencing a line from the
Good Book, innit Ele©t®ified J©, ‘darkly’ - but didn’t, ‘mental health’ is
surely a cintradiction / in terms, ‘the most you can hope for’ Kenny Rogers
sang it better in The Gambler of the battles we all face up on out on up
on this Dog and Pony Show, ‘is to die / in your sleep.’
Good times, what he
means to say is that mental illness is surely too big of a pana©ea, surely a
more specific malady can be found for this canvasser – Cin’s ‘assuppossed to
pour ice water over his self for the ALS challenge, if he understands what he
could not help but videe on Facebook as of late, innit It, particularly the day
that Facebook Jumped / the Shark for good - there’s all / kinds to choose from,
monsieur, ‘I’ve seen every kind of piece of ass in the world’ the movie
producer says it better to Robert Duvall’s consigliere Tom Hagan in The
Godfather , ‘and I’ve had / them all’, and so Cin has seen all kinds of
mental health and illnesses up on out on up on out on this Dog and Pony Show,
and a few he’s caught / himself. And
it’s only 5:30.
Haha fo©us big fella,
fo©us is all / we gots. Itchy and Scratchy
have the ®ight idea, what it is is that they appear to sleep of a warm after up
on out on up on out up here, and clean each other, sleeping and cleaning each
other is all / we gots. ‘You just went
to a week-long wedding’ the fellow-guest at the same told Cin and a bunch of
other people better as the pun©h-line to his going to see / the doctor story,
‘and you told me that you drank 10,000 beers and smoked two packs of cigarettes
a day, and you’re wondering why you have / a racing heart ?’
A neighbor told a
variation on that one, after her husband had a stroke, ‘I could see it’ she
said after your man, all within the same year, had a heart attack in
Switzerland and a hip replacement in Texas, ‘coming’. ‘They weren’t’ Cin’s sister said it better,
recounting their M and P’s reaction to the news that Cin had landed in the Big
House for the better haha part of a week, for being ‘cinappropriately’, the
Sherriff in the original True Grit said it better of John Wayne’s
Rooster Coburn, and for the same / reasons, ‘d®unk’, cintax / is his, ‘all that
/ surprised’, Cin is brutally / honest, but his sister is brutally / honest (must be the water up on
out on up on out up here –id.), ‘you think’, Cin’s College Rugby Club / Prop
Club team-mate, at the time thinking of going pre-med and of his subsequent
career as a doctor, aksed it better, referring to his own dramas – a rhetorical question of a rhetorical
patient after listening to his / her symptoms – ‘ you / have
problems?’
Cin tried the same
variation of that line as of late during a meeting about their Da, ‘I think you
have some very definite ideas about Danny’– What Would Jack Say about son Danny
in Kubrick’s take on your The Shining, innit Mr. King - ’about what should
be done / with him’, “patient is recalitrant’, Cin believes is the prognosis on
their Da’s chart, or anyway it should / be.
‘A prison’ their Da called the retirement home to which he had been sent
last Fall, before the rest of the family pulled him out the place, for the
second time. Unfortunately the
retirement home / prison - le Chateau
it’s called no less – ‘I wouldn’t’ Cin had to fess up of his opinion of
the place, ‘want my worst enemy / put in there’, is Plan B of two plans, or
Plan © for le ©hateau, the other being Plan A, or the one in which some local
types and / or nurses agree to come on out on up on out up here to live, and to
keep an eye on their Da and help out / their Ma.
This plan A, ‘the Sha
Sha’ Cin has code-named it – an amalgamation made up to honour both their
Uncle, whose signature, well, signature, is ‘sha sha’, or ‘go for it’ in
Naskape Indian, and this long before Nike Inc. ©opy®ighted / appropriated it,
as its’ own slogan, and your novel The Shawshank Redemption, innit Mr.
King – ‘®edemption’. It’s a redemption
code-name that Cin uses because, after living like Cin la vida lo©a of a cingleton
for quite some eternal / cinfernal time, the foot-loose and fan©y-f®ee B©chelor
Life – their Uncle decided that enough
was enough, and lives now with two nurses, 24 / 7.
And who / wouldn’t.
Thank you for reading
this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (b) / (f) / (s) / Plan
(c) / log.
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