2019-01-04 Tende® / me®cies

2019-01-04                  Tende® / me®cies

            ‘One of God’s’ your man ©in the humble(d) narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moi®s and tende® /me®cies said it better apropos the ©introduction (hooker please -id.) of pla©ebee®s of all kinds and nationalities to the shelves of supermarkets and Bee® Sto®es of No®th Ame®i©a – and hopefully of Eu®ope as well as all of the other ©intinents (that’s enough -id, it’s ‘continents’) up on God’s g®een ea®th, innit God – ‘tende® / me®cies’, tende® / me®cies is all / we gots.

            Good times, it’s Day Twelve of this year’s ©h®istmas stay©ation, and a TGIFF®iday to boot, innit G, ©in’s line about tender mercies – aping the Honky Tonk film of the same name starring your man Robert Duvall, good movie, a kissing ©ousin he thinks of Coal Miner’s Daughter , though he may be / w®ong, both films recounting the sto®ies of ©ountry and weste®n female singers from humble, coal-mining backgrounds and the husband-turned-wasband managers who served as their f®enemies from Day One – was delivered to your (wo)man their Ma before during and after one of the fourteen ©insecutive dinners that ©in has shared with their M and P, give or take a night / off, during the course of this year’s stay©ation 2018-2019 so far, and apropos the just-in-time-for-®egime-ze®o year five and a half ©int®oduction of all manner of pla©ebeers, not only in the Onta®ia®ia®ia®ia®ia®io Bee® and Li©quo® Sto®es of O-Town, but also in the depanneu®s over here on the Quebe© side, and purchased by your (wo)man their Ma in six-pa©k after six-pa©k  quantities, ‘breaking’ their Ma calls the transportation of the same, ‘my / back’, and it’s no word of / a lie, be©ause your man their Da also a new adherent to ®egime ze®o, ‘the best thing about stay©ations with your parents’ your man ©in said it better to who(m)ever / will listen, ‘is that you don’t have to pay / for food (and d®ink)’, the best thing about stay©ations not having to pay / for food (and d®ink) is all / we gots.

            Course it’s sort-of not for lack / of trying, a cheque (goggle it) written out to your (wo)man their Ma before during and after their M and P’s Golden anniversary dinner party last Thi®stday – and they never get any more / or less thi®sty – for expenses incurred during the same may or may not get / cashed, innit ©ash, never getting any more / or less thi®sty is all / we gots.

            And god love ‘em, innit god, though ©in has drawn exactly ze®o adherents from his fairly wide circle of a©quainatances and friends and Fa®cebook f®iends and f®enemies to ®egime ze®o, like the ©hinese in Chai®man Mao’s time sent to re-education ©amps before during and after going back to just what they were doing beforehand when the Chairman Mao ®IP’ed, their M and P - not to mention their uncle up near the mountain up in here on the Quebe© side and their weekly after-Mass host – have joined up as of late as octogene®ian adherents to ®egime ze®o as well, ‘I used to swallow’ their un©le said it better apropos the befo®e / and afte® and p®os / and ©ons of ®egime ze®o, ‘ a bottle of Tums the mo®ning / afte®’, swallowing a bottle of Tums the mo®ning / afte® is all / we gots.

            Good / times, ‘good / on ya’ ©in says it better to who(m)ever gives ®egime ze®o a try under anything less than the ‘sign here and / or it’s back to the st®ipey hole for you’ ©incumstances that found him doing the same lo those many years ago - ‘here’s to five miserable months on the wagon’, What Would Jack Say as Jack Torrence in Kubrick’s take on your The Shining, innit Mr. King, ‘and all of the irreparable harm that it’s caused / me’ – ‘ you’ll liver’ (haha, ®egime ze®o / typo) ‘longer’, which may or may not / be true, so elemental is your (wo)man the demon d®ink to what passes for modern society, and its’ ®emoval from the liquid diets of ©in and his fellow-suffe®ers so / t®aumatic, ‘modern society’ your man Papa Hemingway knew and wrote it better, ‘a bunch of mechanical and antiseptic gears’, or words to that / extent, ‘and al©ohol / the lubricant that lets us / survive within them’,  liver / longer is all / we gots.

            Cinterlude

            Course there are p®os and ©ons to stay©ations - ©including the ©inimization (hooker please -id., it’s ‘minimization’) of two weeks’ worth of food and pla©ebee® expenses, no $mall / thing ©insidering the amount of money spent on food and pla©ebee® that your man ©insumes morning noon and night be©ause ‘you’re / ©inconsolable’ his ©ollege love said it better , though of course it was ‘inconsolable’, and be©ause emotional eating / his How Does It Feelings for breakfast much and dinner – among them sleep and no end / of it, and didn’t your (wo)man their Ma even buy ©in a pack of darts earlier this week from the depanneu®, saving him / a trip, sleep and no end / of it is all / we gots.

          Good times, ‘they call me ‘the sleeper’’ your man Nas raps it better in his song of the same name, ‘be©ause sleep is the ©ousin / of death’, your man their Da even now is after catching fo®ty winks in the TV ®oom up in here, before during and after sweeping – and raking – the snow of off the walkway that encircles the house up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on up out here, not to mention the snow that accumulated last night on your (wo)man ©in’s car, Don’t Let the Suba®u Fool You’s roof and hood, hopefully it wasn’t the rake that your man their Da was after using for that  last / ©ho®e, ‘this is why’ John C. Reilly’s Dr. Holmes says it better in that movie Holmes and Watson that ©in was after videeing earlier this week, ‘I can’t have nice / things’, nice / things is all / we gots.

          Course one of the p®os / and ©ons both of a stay©ation is that – other than the  stealth trip, be©ause dentist appointment the next morning at oh-nine-hundred hours in O-Town, to Sta®cite Gatineau (f®ee ! flog, $6.95 tickets of an I Guess It Was a Good (Tues)Day  evening, and open even if it was January 1^st, among the sad(dest) days of / the year for a ©ingleton living la vida / lo©a and unholy / ®age of a thug / life, ‘I guess it was a good day’ your man Ice ©ube raps it better, ‘I di’nt have to use / my AK’) to videe  Holmes and Watson , before during and after having to GTFO out of The Favorite and Mortal Engines both be©ause unwatchable – is that you don’t get to disassociate yourself morning noon and night videeing films on the big screen be©ause distracted and distraught (hooker please -id.), ‘he said I had a form of disasso©iative / diso®de®’ ©in says it better to who(m)ever will listen, apropos some expert or another’s expert / opinion on Himself, ‘and this diagnosis was ©infirmed when it upset me / later’, a diagnosis of disasso©iative / diso®de® ©infirmed when it upset me / later  is all / we gots.

            Good times, The Favorite / the movie was ©in’s first choice at Sta®cite Gatineau that I Guess It Was a Good (Tues)day Night last, the director of the same directed a c®azy movie last year, The Killing of a Sacred Deer it was, about a spooky kid - whose Da gets kilt before during and after an operation performed by a doctor played by Colin Ferrell in the movie – and who wreaks a terrible vengeance on the doctor’s family, including his wife, played by the divine Nicole Kidman, who like her was-band Tom Cruise seems to have some Scientology left in her be©ause h-o-t even in her fifties, Cin was guilty of onanism earlier this week (that’s enough -id.) before during and after videeing a younger Kidman in Gus Van Sant’s To Die For, a reverse #MeToo movie where Kidman’s TV newscaster enlists some he-who®e eleventeens, including one played by Joachim Phoenix, and a p®ostitot  from her small New Hampshire Live Free or Die town to assassinate her was-band in the movie, played by Matt Dillon, be©ause ambition, ambition is all / we gots.

            Alas your man the director of The Favorite – ostensibly the story of Queen Anne of England back in the 14^th century or whatevs and her many lesbian / love®s – was not able to repeat his success this year with The Favorite, ‘fu#k’ Queen Ann says it better to one of her lesbian love®s in the movie, before during and after being wheel-chaired and bad-mouthed both by the same in the scene preceding be©ause cincorrect / psy©hology, ‘me’, fu#k me is all / we gots.

            ‘And so’ - ©in’s fellow-film reviewer Anthony Lane of the New Yo®ker magazine wrote it better apropos one of the p®otagonistas in one of the films that he was after reviewing, that one about the te®®ibly bourgeois housewife who starts puzzling, doing / puzzles, and then falls head over heels with her puzzling / partner, who had (m)uttered the same line as the aforementioned Queen Anne in The Favorite, namely ‘fu#k / me’, though this time it was in surprise and / or exasperation and not / a regal order – ‘she / did’, and so before during and after Queen Anne (m)uttered the same regal order in The Favorite , after a cinterminable thirty minutes of exposition and very te®®ible and te®®ibly / ©®ass dialogue to start the movie, your man ©in  the humble(d) narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moi®s and tende® / me®cies did just / that, he GTFO be©ause ®egal / order, and then snuck into Holmes and Watson, a movie with John C. Reilly and his BFF Will Ferrel in the titular roles, and a movie whose subterannean ®otten Tomatoes score as always mean that it’s a movie that’s head / and shoulders above the rest of the other films being reviewed, and so it was, and funny / to boot, head / and shoulders above the rest of the other films being reviewed, and funny / to boot is all / we gots.