2014-11-07

2014-11-07      

                'Loud and clear', Harrison Ford' Han Solo says it better to Mark Hamill's Luke Skywalker at the beginning of George Lucas’ The Empire Strikes Back after Luke akses whether Han can hear him over the walkie-talkie, 'kid', loud and clear kid is all / we gots.

                'Then we'll see you' Han Solo says it better minutes later to the protesting deck officer as he jumps on his widlebeest or whatnot to go have a look for Luke up on out on up on out on up on the tundra of ice planet / Hoth even though the storm doors / are closing and a nor'easter or what passes for one on the ice planet / Hoth is on its way, 'in Hell'.

                'Some folks call it Hell', Billy Bob Thorton's Slingblade murmurs it better in his movie of the same name, 'I call it / Hades', oftentimes Cin has a hard time differentiating / the two, not to mention either one, from the rest of this Dog and Pony Show up on out on up on out on up out here. 

                'Hell' Jean-Paul Sartre wrote it better, 'is other / people' and he's got that right, but though people are not the only players up on out on out on up on out on this Dog and Pony Show to 'unleash' Russell Crowe's Gladiator says it better in the Ridley Scott movie of the same name, 'hell', though it would be pretty, Papa Hemingway wrote it better, to think so.

                Prettier anyway that this.  Your man the wookie Chewbacca doesn't seem to mind the climate of ice planet Hoth in this George Lucas movie - and though your man Cin's tastes and preferences and appearance and guttural howls and otherworldiness and globe-trotting (s) / (m) / (b) / (mis) / (gl) and just plain / adventures all resemble Chewie's in more ways / than one - a fondness for colder ice planets is not / among them.

                Yes it's cold and snow we'd be after expecting tomorrow up on out on up on out up here, and plenty / of both.  Perhaps if it gets nipply enough Cin will have to eat the innards of you little monsters like Luke does to / his Hoth wildebeest in this film, 'you have failed me' your man Darth Vader dismisses quite literally and remotely his latest flunky Admiral on the starship - 'terminate the Colonel' Harrison Ford says it better in a different role and different movie, relaying orders as a CIA officer to Martin Sheen's Captain Willard in Coppola's Apocalypse Now, 'with extreme / prejudice' -  'for the last time', before adding, for an extra kick in the pants as the Empire officer clutches his constricting throat, soon to be closed permanently , 'Admiral'.

                'I went out with an Admiral's daughter once' ©in says it better at work, to little effect, to who(m)ever will listen, 'I never knew what / to call him.'  In hindsight, and knowing what Cin knows now, 'sir' works, as does / 'Admiral', military management seems to like / that, or, ‘your’, Bill Murray’s Carl says it better to whichever worthy’s clubs he is after hauling around the golf course in Harold Ramis’ Caddyshack, ‘eminen©e’,   If you're an Admiral you probably deserve a better fate than the one that Darth Vader judges / juries and executioners to his various subordinates, if that's the word, Vader's rank in the Empire is always hard / to ascertain - Vader is referred to sometimes as 'Lord', though Cin's pretty sure that that one's not / military, unless maybe in England - he seems to be the Emperor's hitman, along of course - spoiler alert - with being Luke and Princess Lay-Me's (hooker please –id.) father.

                'Never tell me' Han Solo says it better to your man C3PO as he navigates his spaceship the Millenium Falcon through asteroid field after asteroid field, 'the odds' - 'I hope you know' Carrie Fisher's Princess Leia coos it better into Han Solo's ear as he flies your (wo)man the supersonic© spaceship the Millenium Falcon, 'what / you're doing'-                never being told the odds while navigating the Millenial Falcon through asteroid field after asteroid field as Princess Leia coos into your ear is / all we gots.

               

                What it is of course in this movie, and the other two in the series,  Star Wars and Return of the Jedi - let us never speak of any other of these movies' progeny since then - for anyone who has been living on ice planet Hoth over the last 50 years, is that Luke and - spoiler alert - Leia have daddy issues, and all of the galaxies and universes hang in the balance as they work / them out, 'help me Obi-Wan Kenobi' Princess Leia's holograph says it better, emitted out of your man R2 D2's laser hole, aksing for some inter-galactic assistance from Alec Guiness's Jedi Knight Obi-Wan / Kenobi, a father-surrogate to both Luke and Leia, 'you're our only / hope.'

                Course your man Yoda is the grandfather-surrogate, and he steals / the show, 'do, or do not' is one of Yoda's slogans - and remains one of ©in's favorite slogans, and e-mail signatures, to this day - 'there is / no try.'  Course this cintradicts his other favorite stolen slogan, from Samuel Beckett - 'try.  fail.  try again.  fail better' - but hopefully you get / the idea.

                Also 'no, no' Yoda says it better to Luke Skywalker from the perch on his shoulder as they complete their Jedi knight sensei-kohei training on the planet Yagoba ( little help ? .) after kohei Luke akses sensei Yoda one question too many - and this one's a doozy, perhaps it will replace Cin's aforementioned e-mail signature, he never noticed Yoda's new slogan / signature until / now, 'when I was a child' St. Paul wrote it better, innit Electrified JC, 'I thought as / a child / but now I am a man / I put away such childish / Things ', and this movie after all is a childhood movie of Cin's - 'there is no / why.'

               

                From ' there is no / try ' as a slogan to 'there is no / why', and you call this / progress?  'Do not fail me again' your man Lord Vader says it better to the captain even as Vador dispatches yet another of his predecessors with his patented choke hold kills, and then, promoting the captain on the spot, 'Admiral'.  This is leadership people, management by phantom chokehold and promotion by cold-blooded murder / on the spot, different only in degree from what Cin has videed in / The Cubi©ombs, 'like going from one part of the Death Star,' ©in wrote it better in his final Dea® John e-mail at his last horror of a workplace before this one, true story, 'to another'.

                Good times, this after Cin got some kind of talking-to whose import he will be unable to process for some time, if ever, this one having to do with the possibility / likelihood of moving from one part of the Death Star - sorry Cubicles - to yet / another.  It was deathly, mortally old ten years ago, this mindless moving / around, and it's even deathlier and mortally older / today.  His greatest Cin of all (well, you know the word -id.) of those of which Cin has been accused is to refuse to call it filet mignon when he's fed / hamburger, and this latest is rancid hamburger / cindeed. 

                'I prefer' Bartleby the Scrivener says it better in Melville's story of the same name, 'not to', innit perfesser, when given similarly absurd orders, and when cinfronted by the same in the Cubicombs, Cin answers now / the same, reprucussions or Cubicles conventianal wisdom / be damned.  'What are you going to do ? ' is of course the only horroretort within the Cubicombs of today - unchanged since Bartleby's time in terms of horror and rank / stupidity - as a challenge, 'fire / me?' though of course this is hardly news within the Cubicombs , and has happened more / than once, this horror since joined as of late by 'throw me / in jail?' and 'force me stop / drinking?', the very trifecta / of horrors up on out on up on out on up on out up here on this Dog and Pony Show all visited upon Cin as of late, and more / than once.  'I am beyond their timid, lying morality' Brando's Colonel Kurtz says it better in Apocalypse Now, in a letter to his son and cincluding is truly the only sane reaction to the likes of what happens up on out on out on up on this Dog and Pony Show, again and again and again and again, 'and so I am beyond / caring.'

                'I love you' Princess Leia says it better and finally to Han Solo during one of their (b) / (s) / (m) and just plain / adventures aboard the Millenium Falcon, to which Han Solo can only reply - dooming as he does so an entire generation of movie-going boys to muttering similar half-ass / smart-ass answers when told by women the greatest thing, if they're very lucky, that they're ever going to hear - 'I know'.  In College we were the founding and only members of the Han Solo Club, innit ACG, so-called for guys who acted cool but rarely / got laid, and with lines like 'I know' dropping from the word-holes of our namesake, it's not hard / to see why.           

                                               

                'You have learned much,' Darth Vader - voiced of course by James Earl Jones and played in costume by the body-builder who played the body-builder and bodyguard in Stanley Kubrick's take on Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange, and who takes care of the writer whose wife earlier in the film is raped and killed by little Alex and his drooggies before the writer takes / his revenge - says it better as he light-sabers his son and frenemy Luke's hand off, 'young one', to which Luke Sywalker played by Mark Hamill - who does various voices in the much unjustly overlooked cartoon series 'Metalocalypse' - can only reply 'you'll find I'm full / of surprises', though he leaves out the final and biggest surprise of all, since he doesn't know / it yet, 'Dad'.

Course 'remarks' Gertrude Stein reprimanded Papa Hemingway better, 'do not make / literature', and half-assed Star Wars plotlines about Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia and your man Darth Vader all somehow being cut as they say from the same cloth - perhaps from the cloth of Darth Vader's slick SS-style black dress robe - do not make great / cinema.  Unless of course these absurd plotlines are advanced by mad action and plenty / of it, absurd plotlines advanced by mad action and plenty / of it is all / we gots. 

                Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs.