2014-11-14

                2014-11-14          

                Course there are war films, and then there are war / films, 'take that, Hans Blix' Kim-Jong Il says it better in Team America to that cinfamous head UN arms cinspector of the early 21st cintury (cintaxed 'cause he made / it up -id.), 'you fucking cock / sucker.'

                'I'm ronery' Kim Jung Il's puppet, sorry 'marionette' breaks into song better in this Matt Stone and Trey Parker film - pronouncing of course all the 'l's as 'r's in song and in regurar / speech - 'so ronery'.  It's a funny scene from a funny movie, Team America blows up Paris, followed by Cairo and a few others, all while the baddies led by Dear Reader Kim Jong-Il are busy blowing up the Team America headquarters at Mount Rushmore, 'you need' the soundtrack song has it better, 'a montage' as the film follows the Team member marionettes training and sleeping with each other (which red to an unfortunate impromptu episode of the fappening up on out on up on out up here earlier) and Kim Jong Il introduces his own musical to the stars / of Horrywood (so solly -id.).

                Horrywood stars, particularly of the left-leaning variety, are not spared the Parker-Stone scalpel - honed most notably over 20 years of Southpark the cartoon series and 'The Book of Mormon' the musical - either, 'we're guards' the marionettes playing Martin Sheen and Tim Robbins say it better in the film, 'we're / guards.'  'She's acting', one Team America member says it better of the Susan Sarandon marionette - in cahoots somehow with some other actors, led by Alec Baldwin, with the Dear Reader / Leader - before the Sarandon marionette is gunned down and her head explodes.

                Film is irreverent, and by this Cin doesn't mean irrelevent, 'lolling / his 'r's - 'my father is Chinese' was his schoolyard's racial slur on the orientals, and here the children pulled their eyebrows upwards, 'my mother is Japenese' (eyebrows downwards) and 'I'm' comes the punchline as one eyebrow is pulled upwards and the other downwards, 'just a crazy mixed-up / kid' - though he supposes that the movie like that joke are both / both.

                Climax goes scatological, with Team America explaining the ways of the world in terms of 'pussies, assholes, and dicks' - it's the reason that Cin is a Simpsons fan as opposed to South Park, the scatological laugh is always too / easy - though the marionette's speech actually makes sense as analogies for world politics go, 'you had me' the blonde marionette says it better to the marionette who just gave the aforementioned speech in the cinevitable take-off on the 'Jerry McGuire' line, 'at dicks / fuck assholes.'                                    

               

                'Freedom' Cin quoted someone singing it better earlier this week, 'isn't free', and wouldn't you know it dear reader that that version that Cin was thinking of was from something that someone wrote as part of a parody of a country and western song for this very film. Cin thinks - and now knows from the credits - that Parker and / or Stone may write the songs as well as the scripts for these films.  It beats / working, ar anyway it surely beats the Cubicles where Cin spent an unpleasant bout of purgatory today, this phenomenom falls squarely into the 'You're Either Matt Parker and Trey Stone or / you're Not' / the Category.

               

                Cin will now try to videe the movie for the third cinsecutive time - between bouts of sleeping, Cubicles purgatory, and the very few other elements that pass as / his life, this monk's existence - for he needs a good laugh.  What it is is that the DVD case sits cheek by jowl in the cindominium's Permanent DVD collection bookcase next to last night's why-so-serious War Film, Terence Malick's The Thin Red Line' and so in 'Team America' went into the gaping hole of Samsung the Blu-Ray player, and, working in tandem with Samsung's the TV's remote's 'sleep' function button, put Cin to sleep last evening, and was the first Thing he videed this morning as the dumptrucks dumping truckload after truckload after truckload of soil outside the cindominium starting at 6:30 in the AM woke him up, as always with the Linda Blair as Regan McNeil the morning after she meets Captain Howdy in The Exorcist-style glassy stare, of a TGIFFriday morning, innit G.

                Good times, that's why it's called this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (f) / © / (s) / (f) log, innit, as Cin flogs product after product in both senses of that word, good and bad and wtf, and horroreviews films the same way, most of the time he's not so sure / himself, if this film is to be believed for example, he just videed 'freedom isn't free' on the Vietnam War memorial in Washington, D.C. as it was videed in turn by the Team America marionette, everything got why-so-serious again all / of a sudden, everything getting why-so-serious again all / of a sudden is all / we gots.

                Maybe it's / la neige, the snow came this after and this time, it stayed.  Outside the cindominium are the aforementioned tonnes and tonnes of soil brought in by the aforementioned dumptrucks.  Good news is that the cesspool that was his neighbor in the fenced-off property next to the cindominium for the last three years - 'Jesus' the foul-mouthed puppets sorry marionettes blaspheme it better in this movie, so solly Electrified JC, 'titty-fucking / christ' - has been filled out / of existence.  Bad news is that given the way that these vacant lots are being (mis)used up on out on up on out on up out there, the next neighbor may well be another condominium.

                What it is is that this neck of the woods where the cindominium is located - long since no longer a neck / of the woods - was for some time an industrial and residential cesspool, ten city blocks wide by twenty blocks long.  'Lebreton Flats' they called it, and if a neighborhood other than South Central or Watts in L.A. or Eight Mile in Detroit got a worse rap than Lebreton Flats in O-Town, Cin has yet / to hear / read / videe about it, 'Lebreton Flats' the murals out on up on out on up on up outside the War Museum not 100 metres from here, passed by 100 000 people yearly during Bluesfest alone, not to mention regular museum-goers - replete with photos of raging house fires and ghetto scenes - advertise the neighborhood's sordid history worse, 'was a shantytown.'

                This odd approach to tourism as displayed on the lawn of a National Museum and Monument as the only series of displays set up permanently on the lawn of the entire 100-acre property, does what's left of your humble / humbled / humiliated narrator's cinscience (‘conscience’ as it applies, or not, to ©in -id.) no favors, 'the hotel was built' the General Manager of the Overlook Hotel says it better to Jack and Wendy and Danny Torrence during their ill-fated tour of the place in Stankey Kubrick's take on your The Shining, innit King, 'was built on an ancient Indian burial / ground', and we all know what happens to hotels / cindominiums / stories that are built on ancient Indian / burial grounds, innit Mr. King, 'it doesn't end' the slogan du jour - less cinsufferable than most slogans / du jour - has it better, 'well'.

               

                From the irreverent / irrelevent / the Category : Trey Parker, so solly Electrified JC : "All the religions are superfunny to me... The story of Jesus makes no sense to me. God sent his only son. Why could God only have one son and why would he have to die? It's just bad writing, really. And it's really terrible in about the second act."

                Thanks for reaing this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (f) / (s) / © / (f) / (b) log .