2014-11-11

                2014-11-11 

                Who amongst even the most slavish of the wage slaves doesn't enjoy a staying of the whip, if only for / a day ?  Freedom, someone wrote it better, isn't / free, and today is Remembrance Day, lest / we forget.

                'Fuck' Forrest Whitaker's British soldier says it better at the Irish county fair in Neil Jordan's film The Crying Game, this just before he enters a world / of hurt, 'this bear', referring to the stuffed pink bear he just won as part of the honey trap set for him by the lovely Jude and the not-so-lovely I®A.

                Fuck this bear / indeed, 'there are certain things' the lovely Jude, played by one of / the Richardsons, 'I wouldn't do / for my country', after her colleague in the IRA played by Stephen Rea akses Jude if she 'gave it' to Witaker's soldier as part of the honey trap.  These are randy volunteers and volunteeristas alright, and when it comes to chasing tail, even Forrest Whitaker's soldier - spoiler alert - likes a taste 'that runs' Dr. Lecter says it better in Jonathan Demme’s take on Thomas Harris’ The Silence of the Lambs, 'shall we say, to the / exotic.'

                It's a rare line - on-screen or off - that deserves / a laugh much less / a smile, but this movie delivers both in its screenplay, the Irish cannot help themselves but laugh as history delivers them nothing / but pain, laughing as history delivers nothing / but pain is all / we gots.  'What the fuck' Stephen Rea's IRA akses Whitaker's soldier better, of his being in Ireland in the first place, 'were you doing / here ?', after Whitaker's soldier akses himself the same question as to the reasons for being ensnared / by Jude.  'I got sent to the one place in the world', Whitaker's soldier Jody ends his thought, 'where they call you 'nigger' to / your face.'

                Who knew, Cin was on the verge of heading off to the Emerald Isle twenty-two years ago from the coast of Calais in France, innit Jenke, right up to the minute that the French port operators / workers decided that it was time for une greve / or a strike, though they hadn't yet / gone all in as of the Friday before.  When aksed by Cin the odds of la greve taking place, the ticket clerk smiled and said 'c'est la, le surprise', 'le surprise' is all / we gots.

                Speaking of frogs, 'it means' Whitaker's Jody says it better to Rea's IRA foot soldier, after telling an Irishman the tale of the scorpion and the frog - you know the one, your man the scorpion's only chance of getting across the pond is by sharing the ride on the frog's back, but halfway across the scorpion stings / the frog, dooming the both of them, 'and now' Whitaker's Jody, affecting a passable English dialect, says it better, 'we both / shall die', to which the scorpion's only possible drowning reply can be 'I had to, it's in / my nature' - I had to, it's in my nature is all / we gots.

                It's a tough story.  'When I was a child,' Rea's volunteer says it better - after advising Whitaker's Jody that tonight's 'a be / his last, and Jody akses him to tell him / something - 'I thought as a child.  But when I became a man, I put away childish / things.'  It's from the Good Book, innit Electrified JC, St. Paul Cin thinks, 'St. Paul preached the epistles to the apostles', the title character (the former) of Bruce Robinson's Withnal and I says it better, referring to his roommate's clothes for his day / in court, 'dressed / like that', another / good line, another good line is all / we gots.

                Course the movie The C®ying Game goes sideways after Jody gets run over by one of the very armored troop carriers that were sent by the British to rescue him from / the IRA honey trap as Jody tries / to escape, after Rea's volunteer loses the stomach to execute Jody, as he's been / ordered to, in the Emerald forest.

                Racked by remorse, Rea's volunteer (Cin chooses not to use the term 'terrorist' be©ause it gets his I®ish / up - Princess Anne of England was here today going on and on and on but Cin forgot / to clap - and because Goggle Inc. and them are surely harvesting every bit and byte of data that's being hulk-smashed in every version of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore (f) / © / (s) / (b) log, from here to Timbuktu, 'oops' Britney Spears sings it better in her song of the same name, 'I did it again', Cin just hulk-smashed the very word that he wasn't 'assupossed to, even while swearing up and down that he / wouldn't, hulk-smashing the very word that he wasn't 'assupossed to, even while swearing up and down that he / wouldn't is all / he gots) goes over to England to find Jody's - spoiler alert - BFF, 'there's something you should know,' the bartender in the local pub tells Rea's incognito volunteer in England about Jody's, well, disposition, 'about her', but when Rea's volunteer akses 'what', the bartender takes advantage of the fact that Jody's BFF is a singer of sorts - and is about to take / the stage - 'she's / on'.

                'Fuck off back' the singer tells her current -ex - after Jody but before Rea's volunteer Fergus - better, 'to Essex', and then for good measure tosses the goldfish bowl out her fifth floor apartment window to boot, 'and take your goldfish / with you.'  Course Rea's volunteer is about to get the surprise of his life - 'the monster fu©k' the L.A. prostitot who's about to meet / her maker in Michael Mann’s film Heat says it better to one of the villains in  that movie, 'of my young / life' - 'in bed' as the game goes where every thing you say ends with ' in / bed.'  Turns out that Jody's ex the singer sings bass as well / as soprano if you know what he means, not to mention the skin / flute. 

                Movie's plot twist back in the day (early '90s, OMFG, innit G.) was actually a well-kept secret, these well before the days of the World Wide Web, where everone now knows every damn thing, and every word what's Cin's about to hulk-smash away, up on out on up on this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore (s) / (f) / © / (b) / log even before Cin knows / his own self.  'I thought' the he-she lady-man says it better, somewhat anti-climactically in The Crying Game, to Rea's Fergus after the cat so to speak is out / the bag, and Fergus gets his first glimpse of his singer's meat and two / veges, 'you knew'.

                'She's not a tart', Fergus comes to his new BFF's defence at the construction site, though when his boss retorts 'no, of course not, she's a lady', Fergus sets him straight – ‘never give an I®ishman’ a different I®A volunteer explains it better in Robert Rodriguez’ Sin City, ‘the reason for / a g®udge’ - 'no she's not that / either.'  Seems Fergus likes it strange as well, good times, 'who knows' the English bartender, played well by Jim Broadbent - who watches this transgender love story trans-gendering in front of him across the wood of his bar but manages to keep all the parties involved from killing / each other - akses it all better, 'what mysteries lie in the human / heart ?'

                'Have you ever tried to pick up your teeth' Rea's Fergus finally bares / his Irish teeth and volunteer roots and temper after his English boss Mr. Devereaux pushes him too far at the construction site, 'with broken / fingers?'  It's a triple-threat, a keeper, a cinister version of Charles Napier's 'have you ever tried to eat corn on the cob' -  Napier playing the head 'Good Old Boy' from the band of the same name, in John Landis's The Blues Brothers to Jim Belushi’s Jake Blues, pretending unsuccessfully to play a Mr. Stein from the musician's union - ' with no fuckin' / teeth...Stein?'

                'Chewing on' a colleague called it better, now that we're on the teeth-removal tangent, 'chiclets', another good line, Cin was about to use it in the sauna at the gym this after, when a fellow sauna person aksed Cin to give him some room on the top bench - of two - and then when Cin's move was not sufficient to his liking, started shuffling around, and added 'I mean can you move / your feet' and the kicker, 'this is not / a personal / sauna.'  Your man nearly had a reverse Crying Game operation right there in the sauna, Cronenburg’s Eastern Promises-style but fortunately for him it had been a nice day and Cin had had his Chiclets for / the day.

                Course this movie has a third act too, and here's Richardson's Jude back in London, cat-fighting over your man Fergus and forcing him into one more operation  with the I / ® / A, one of Cin's many affectations up on out on up on out on up on this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore (f) / (b) /(c) / (s) log being to elipse all three-lettered acronyms, as Dr. Lecter does in The Silence of the Lambs, purring out Agent Starling's ambitions, 'all the way' Dr. Lecter spells it out by not spelling it out, 'to the F....B....I.'

                'Are you' Richardson's Jody akses Rea's Fergus better now at the London construction site - where Fergus is somehow still employed incognito despite his aforementioned rhetorical question / threat to Mr. Devereaux earlier about whether the Englishman had ever picked up his teeth with broken fingers - ' a handy / man?'  'I take pride' Rea's Fergus replies - it will be his last day of work, and he knows it - 'in my work', taking pride in our work is all / we gots.

                'May I suggest' Natalie McIlhone's Irish mercenary says it better to Sean Bean's English mercenary in John Frankenheimer's Ronin, before during and after Bean's character realizes that he doesn't have the stomach for this particular gig and quits, 'that you forget about us, because we' - here the hint is IRA, and make no / mistake - 'will not / forget'.  You heard the one about the Irishman with Alzheimer's ?  He forgot everything except / the Grudge.  So Fergus in this film runs into another ex while he's in London, the lovely / Jude, and he's after being given now a new target for assassination, an Englishman, 'some' Richardson's Jude says it better when aksed by Fergus, 'judge'.                                                                  

                Course London has been after dealing with trouble-makers - yes, terrorists, in their eyes - than we have up on out on up on out on up up here, though who of the 50,000 assembled at the Memorial Day event held up the street from here in O-Town this morning could miss the two Army snipers on the roof above the ceremonies, visible for the first time?  As the film comes to its conclusion - for perhaps the second time during one of these Take This Thing Back to Baltimore (s) / © / (f) / (b) log and film horroreviews at more or less the same time that Cin is after stopping hulk-smashing away on Tosh's keyboard, and the Crackberry two-hour alarm about to start buzzing, to boot, all in cincronicity (that’s enough e-id.), Fergus gets sent / to the Tower of London jail or whanot, penan©e for all of his acts / of terror, political or sexual, penan©e is all / we gots.

                'You should have stayed' Fergus says it better to Jody's picture as the wheels fall off of his various nefarious plans in London all / at once, and his two girlfriends introduce guns / to their catfight, to fatal effect, 'at home'.  Scene fades with the expectation that Fergus will swallow the business end of the pistol that still has a round left in it, but Jordan decides to end the movie goes on a more lighter note for a transexual-politico thriller : sure and isn’t Fergus instead after going to the Tower of London or whatnot, innit Cash, for his sins, but his new BFF - Jody's ex, if you lost / the thread - still visits him, despite his shenanigans and political views.

Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (s) / (b) / (c) / (f) / log.