12/29/2023 hooky please
That five-lettered wo®dle,
but it’s all / but certain that there won’t be any more emergency e-mails – ‘it’s
as though 911’, (y)our man ©in the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This
Thing Back to Baltime-moi®es and hooky said it better and apropos what kind
of e-mail he’s apt to receive in his ©inbox (hooker please, -id.) on any given
day at work that four-lettered wo®d, ‘had an e-mail / address’ – and so of
(t)his rainy TGIFF®iday after and the last for this annus ho®®iblus 2023 it’s
at the same that he’ll be after hulk-smashing, innit G, as though 911 had an e-mail address is all /
we gots.
Course ho-ho-holidays run /
long these days and this year, innit Bad Santa, what with
Electrified J©’s birthday falling on an I Don’t Like Monday(s) this year –
‘Imma shoot’ (y)our man Bob Geldof and the rest of the Boomtown ®ats sing it
better in their dirge of the same name, ‘the whole day / down’ – and New Yea®’s
Eve falling on the ©inday (hooky please, -id.) following, and also seeing as
one of the te®®ible t®uths resulting from the ©OVID that five-lettered
abbreviation lo©kdown is that no one wanted to go back / to wo®k be©ause why /
would you, ®ats is all / we gots.
And so and at the ®isk of and
for the sake of both being cont®a®y as we do, (y)our man ©in signed up for no /
holidays at all over the course of (t)his year’s Ch®istmas to New Yea®’s
ho-ho-holidays – ‘H0 H0 H0’ reads the Postal ©ode for letters and postcards
both addressed to (y)our man Santa up on out on up on out on up on out on up on
out and up at the No®th Pole before during and after the same be©ause
conveniently and cleverly alphanume®i© as we do and where the ‘Os’ are zeros
be©ause ®egime ze®o – innit Ele©t®ified J© (hooky please, -id.), ‘(y)our
woodworke®’, (y)our man a non-believer called you better if uncharitably /
enough in one of the umpteen movies that (y)our man ©in has been videeing as of
late be©ause why / not , ‘nailed / to a ©®oss’, ©int®a®y is all / we gots.
Course before during and
after a full de©ade of living under ®egime ze®o – ‘have you ever had’, (y)our
(mountain)man the head hillbilly in John Boo®man’s film take on James Dickey’s
novel Delive®an©e akses it better of the actor Jon Voight’s no®mie yuppy
character in that film, ‘your balls cut off, you fu©kin’ / ape ?’, before
during and after damn near following up on that threat against (y)our man
midnight ©owboy in the s©ene, and with his hillbilly ma©hete no less – it’s not
only the letter ‘O’ in (y)our (wo)men Santa
and M®s. ©laus’ Postal ©ode that turns into a ze®o because ‘ze®o’,
(y)our (wo)man Lisa Simpson of The Simpsons TV show immo®tality says it better
, ‘is / a numbe®’, but it also applies across / the board when you’re after
living under ®egime ze®o, you see ze®os / everywhere like (y)our man Neo in The Matrix , up to and cincluding this year the number of
©h®istmas cards sent / and or received this year to / and or from (y)our man
©in’s residence up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here in O-Town,
the ©indominium, namely / ze®o, H0 H0 H0 is all / we gots,
(Un)fortunately be©ause
payba©k – and surely not for the first / or last time – (y)our men ©in and the
pandemi©ats Lave®ne and Shi®ley are saved from total / g®imness and (t)his g®im
total of ze®o ©h®istmas cards sent and / or received both to and / or from the
very cindominium in O-Town where the three managed to live together for a
decade in a one-®oom unit, three of them the last three years of the(ir) hal©yon p®e-®egime ze®o days and nights and de©ades, and
god knows what happened before during and after / those cinfamous hal©yon p®e-®egime ze®o days
and nights and yea®s, innit god, by the fact of their current housing to be
found on the Quebe© side, in Luksvegas, with (y)our (wo)man and pandemic
housemate the(ir) Ma Noslouc, who sends and receives many Christmas cards
yearly, and this year is no exception, though all of this sending and receiving
and hulk-smashing of cards is contingent as always on who(m) replies / to
who(m) as we do, ‘it all came down’, (y)our man the(ir) Da Noslouc RIP
pronounced it better and strangely enough before during and after the latest development
in an (il)legal land-use fo®est®y unpleasantness of which the Nosloucs were a
part back in the 20th, be©ause Blain, innit Itt ‘to
who(m) was sleeping / with who(m)’, hulk-smashing is all / we gots.
Course a de©ade / of adhering
to anything is nothing / to sneeze at – and parti©ula®ly when it comes to
®egime / ze®o, innit Bla©kie (hooky please, -id.) – and (y)our man ©in must
stop comparing it to having (y)our balls / cut off and all / that, innit you
fu©kin’ ape (that’s enough, -id.), but rather by ©instead emb®a©ing / the su©k
as we do, though of a rainy TGIFF®iday after like this one (y)our man ©in the
humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Baltime-moi®es and
playing / hooky would rather be after d®inking / his fa©e off as we used to do,
all things being / equal, ‘all things being / equal’, (y)our man Bruce Willis
as John McLean says it better as we do in the immor(t)al John McTiernan and
©h®istmas film Die Hard
before during and after McLean’s latest mistreatment in that film at the hands
of the Eu®ot®ash ter®o®ists, or politi©al he®oes, depending on / (y)our slant,
occupying the Nagasaki Plaza be©asue g®eed is go(o)d, innit go(o)d, ‘I’d rather
be / in Philadelphia’, ‘ Nundercove® is the perfect / film’, (y)our man
©in e-mailed the ®est of the ©ast / and ©rew of that immo®(t)al Jake Cashill
film of the same name from back in the 20th, or at least he fully cintended to,
until ©h®istmas came / and went this year as we do and before during and after
the whole / s©heme became a©ademic and aspi®ational for next year as a ®esult,
‘and Die Hard may be the perfect ©h®istmas film’, debate, emb®a©ing /
the su©k is all / we gots.
‘And so this is ©h®istmas’,
(y)our man John Lennon ®IP akses it better as we do in (t)his di®ge of the same
name from back in the 20th ©intu®y (that’s enough, -id.), ‘and what
have you / done ?’, and isn’t this O-Town’s own Bridgehead Coffee edition up on
out on up on out on up on out on up out on O-Town’s Bank Street and Second
Avenue - (y)our man ©in’s new se©ond favo®ite se©ond favo®ite se©ond favo®ite
se©ond favo®ite home away from home, and at which he has somehow now spent the
last three TGIFF®iday afters, innit G be©ause all of a sudden ©lassy now with
its’ plantwall and all / that, and with ®ed-hot mothe®-daughte®(s)es visuals (that’s
enough, -id.) today to boot – after streaming or whatever the bottomless / pit
of ©h®istmas musi© for its’ clients to audee mo(u)rning noon and night, even a
good week after / the fact, innit Ele©t®ified J©, ‘it’s passing / st®ange’,
(y)our man ©in says it to who(m)ever will listen (no one / listens) and apropos
/ the same, ‘that ©h®istmas hasn’t yet been / cancelled’, along with every
other damn thing / else be©ause pat®ia®©hal and all / that, ‘maybe be©ause
whatever replaces it will never ever be able to compete with so much /
©h®istmas music’ mo(u)rning noon and night, passing / st®ange is all / we
gots.
Course next up on this week’s
annual and annus ho®®iblus’ agenda – yesterday was what would have been the(ir)
pandemic housemate Ma Noslou© and the(ir) Pa Noslou© ®IP’s 55th (!)
wedding anniversary, celebrated in Luksvegas last night of a Thi®stday evening,
and they never get any / more or any / less thi®sty, and would have been ‘even
better’, (y)our (wo)man the(ir) Ma Noslou© said it better, ‘if he / were here’,
®IP Da - is Happy New Yea® and all /
that, ‘and what’s’, (y)our man(ia©) Little Alex akses it better of his own M
and P, come to visit him at the hospital in Kubrick’s take on Anthony Burgess’ A Clo©kwo®k Orange, before during and after
being reconstituted and all / that, and before during and after being greeted
by a ‘good / mo®ning’ and all / that from his M and P at Little Alex’s hospital
bedside be©ause ni©eties, ‘so good /
about it ?’, ni©eties is all / we gots.
Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to
Baltime-moires and playing / hooky.
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