2016-04-23 How Deep Is Your Love

2016-04-23 How Deep Is Your Love 

Good times, ‘no one said it’d be easy’ Chris Martin and Coldplay sing it better in ‘The Professor’, innit perfesser, ‘no one ever said it would be this / hard’, though your cintrepid and humbled narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and no one ever said it would be this / hard fully cintended to math the soaring landscape passing by him yesterday of a TGIFFriday after and evening, innit G, his walk down me-moir lane led him back to that cinfamous night in the Kingston, walks down me-moir lane leading him back to that cinfamous night in Kingston is all / we gots.

Mind, that was / yesterday, today a new day, a Satu®day after, before, during and after it becomes / a Sadu®day night and I Ain;t got Nobody, innit Sam Cooke, and here is your man the cintrepid narrato® after spending this two-hour shift of me-moirs – your man the Melancholy Dane Kierkegard or whatnot (oh please hooker, it’s Knutsen, or somefink and he’s / a Swede, ‘and he’s’ the head neo-nazi says it better of your man Elwood Blues in John Landis’ The Blues Brothers , ‘a ©atholic’) just released his fifth volume / of same (f®ee flog !), ‘My Suffering’ Cin thinks these tomes are mis-translated / titled, Cin likes his title / better – hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs  and How Deep Is Your Love and he’s / a ©atholic at this ©ountry Time Donut (f®ee flog !) shop in the wilds / of Mississauga.  

‘How Deep Is Your Love’ – the millennial edition / version, not the Bee Gees’ original  from ‘the 20th’, innit monsieur debonaire – muzaks above us as Cin videes an older couple enacting their own version of ‘My Suffering’ in full sight of the other ©ountry Time Donut patrons, cincluding this guy, who can only watch as the husband (you don’t know that, they’re not terribly / talkative -id.) cajoles and then carries the wife out the door and then pours her into the car.  Three seconds added to either end of this choreography would have led Cin to jump out his chair (god forbid, innit god ) and offer his services to the couple in their ‘My Suffering’ (that’s enough -id.), however Cin could only lend his ‘empathy’ to the couple cinstead - as opposed to his ‘sympathy’ as some ®ock star on the radio said it better of what legendary metal god Lennie from Moto®head, recently ®IP, offered the ®ock star after the latter ‘fell off / the wagon’, a faux-pas that the ®ock star, presumably ironically / sarcastically, because the other ®ock stars on the program chortled as he said it, described as ‘one of the best things ever / in my life’ – and videed the whole painful choreography from the comfort of / his ©ountry Time Donut chair.

Like his high-speed hurtling via VIA ®ail (f®ee flog!  Sweet / trip ) through Kingston yesterday evening, and all of the series of memories of the (m) / (s) / (b) / (gl) / ® / and just plain / adventures that Cin has had there and at University Q triggered by the same (six, maybe seven -id.), Cin has been in this ©ountry Time Donut Store before (once, maybe twice -id.) - ‘this is not’ Cin said it better at wo®k recently, after his (wo)manager aksed him better about the o®igin story of one of ©in’s many sca®s, ‘my last ®odeo’, before videeing her eyes settling on one in / particular after wandering around his face in shock and awe at the rest, and then, dropping the haha punch line, and pointing to the culprit, ‘that / was’ – and like all of his emotions and recollections of the same, they are / mixed, ‘Jane’s’ the name on the condiment from Cin’s childhood advertised itself better, still remembered all of these years and decades later because mixed-up, ‘©razy mixed-up / Salt’, Jane’s ©razy mixed-up / Salt is all / we gots.

 And what pray tell brings Cin back to this donut shop for the umpteenth (twice, maybe third -id.) time ?  What it is is that he’s here for meetings - ‘not’ Cin wise-acred it better to ®ugby ©lub team-mates several years ago when he was dropped off for / the same after a match vs. the mighty Ajax Wande®erers, ‘a cintervention’ though of course it was ‘intervention’, and that would come / later, with bells / on – and more specifically business meetings, ‘there was a man there’ one of the last remaining replicants says it better to the head replicant Roy, played by Rutger Hauer, in Ridley Scott’s Blade Runner, describing the scene of a recent / crime, to which Roy askes / replies, ‘a police / man ?’, a cintervention is all / we gots.

 Meetings, he knows, good times.  He used to have to go to four meetings a week cinimum, only it was ‘minimum’ - because the Video Judge said so, when Cin was living under yet another version in a long line of ‘double’ the crusty Dean in Landis’ Animal House calls the equivalent imposed on the members of the Delta House in that movie, ‘secret / probation’, because Cin refuses to call hamburger filet / mignon – ‘these endless’ Cin called them better in an e-mail, ‘meetings’, and as a result now goes to as few / as possible, these days two meetings a month is one / too many, double-secret probation is all / we gots.  

Course meetings like meat come in different / flavors – hamburger and filet / mignon - and these meetings here in The Big Stink aka Toronto aka Mississauga, are less painful / than most, less painful / than most is all / we gots.  What it is is that it’s a family business that’s in play, and a going concern, and no end / of cintrigues, ‘you’re one’ your man I®on Mike said / accused it better as of late, of the same, ‘of the one / percint’, only of course it was ‘percent’, to which Cin could only reply of the same, and of the 1 % (you wish, try point fucking five percint -id.) faux-beer that Cin occasionally allows himself, ‘yeah, like this fucking / beer’, Cin part of the one-percint like this fucking / faux-beer that Cin occasionally allows himself is all / we gots (that’s enough -id.).

Whatever, these Mississaugians – ‘missi’ the only childhood geography lesson that most of us will ever / remember starts better, ‘ssi / ppi’ – or whatever sure seem to love / their cars.  There’s a Mercedes convertible in the parking lot up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up out here - whose owner’s ears and eyes perked up serendipitiously enough just now as Cin was hulk-smashing away at the same and his buddy aksed him how much the Mercedes ‘weighs’, to which your man the owner of the Mercedes aksed him back ‘how much it’s / worth ?’ because vain and  proud and half-deaf, ‘the Lincoln’ your man and Cin’s fellow-hound called these kinds of cars and their ilk, ‘Compensator’ - and a Saab, and like all cars these days, they’re all about six months / old.  

Course when you’re after living under ®egime ze®o you drink no end of ©offee at the business establishments of the purveyors of same – ‘it’s a lucky thing’ Cin said it better, putting it / mildly to say / the least, of the average high-end coffee shops to be found in the toniest neighborhoods and with mad all-glass enclosures and visuals-to-die-fo®, and high rent vibes, where of course he used to drink / in bars, normal bars, ‘that the café business is booming under my ®egime zero, My / Suffering Volume CVMLXIVIXX’ (that’s enough -id.) - and overhear no end of such motorhead conversations, ‘you’re going to have start wearing a nametag’ the new addition to this group says it better to the gentleman with the Me®cedes convertible, apparently not a ®egular / ®egular, ‘you don’t come out / more often’, having to start wearing a nametag, you don’t come more often is all / we gots.

Good times, here come the gout stories – ‘rich man’s disease’ apparently from drinking port and ‘red meat’, and / or afflicting people who say they don’t drink / but do, people who say they don’t drink / but do is all / we gots - gout stories is all / we gots, the gentleman in the Saab in the parking lot now yelling into his cellphone – people still yell into the phone that way, sans hand-free ? – having made his exit some time ago, and looking up at Cin through the coffee shop window occasionally and occasionally more than occasionally as he does so, CIn like Pacino’s Scarface in the de Palma movie of the same name has a face that only a mother / could love, that babies stare at, that animals run and scream at, all before coming over to give him a pat on the head afterwards and / or ©uff him, ‘everything’s’ Pacino’s Scarface says it better on the phone when asked the same, even as the wheels are falling off, ‘roses’, ‘the air got thinner when he entered a room’ the narrator of The Assassination of Jesse James says it better of the titular character as played by Brad Pitt, ‘rain falls / slower’, everything’s roses is all / we gots.

Off goes your man in the Saab, one hand still on his cell phone, one mouth yelling all / the while, occasionally and occasionally more than occasionally Cin overhears cinversations that he has no business / overhearing because ®egime ze®o and caffeinating cinstantly, and under different cincumstances he might have wanted to audee what that dude in the Saab was after yelling into and out of / his phone, but these are not different cincumstances, these are only these cincumstances, ‘ in this world’ Sean Penn’s Sergeant says it better to your man Jim Cavalies (oh please hooker again with the laziness -id., goggle it) in Terrence Malick’s movie The Thin Red Line , ‘and there is no other world / than this one’, no other world / than this one is all / we gots.

Dig®essions, this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and dig®essions is chock-full of dig®essions, ‘he doesn’t have to look away’ the newest member of this motorhead group – a ca® club surely – says it better to and about the ‘President’ of the ©lub, humble-bragging on his cellphone and looking the other way, ‘I’m not / the tax man’.     

And ‘speak of the Devil’ your man the new man says, ‘here come / the horns.’  Middle-aged folks (average age eighty -id.) have mad stories, all folks have mad stories, mad stories is all / we gots.

Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and How Deep Is You® Love.