2/23/2024 Write ‘ em / up
And ye® / wel©ome, the presentation of the above
didn’t go / exactly as planned be©ause people don’t plan / to fail as we do as
much as we fail / to plan, and (y)our man ©in the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take
This Thing Back to Baltime-moi®es and w®ite em / up was not after getting a
good night’s sleep of the TGIFF®iday night before during and after delivering /
the same be©asue putting the ‘fun’ in
‘fune®al’, innit G, though a local English school teacher at the ceremony did
give (y)our man ©in the thumbs up before during and after audeeing and videeing
(y)our man ©in stand / and deliver, and isn’t the English teacher’s feedback
always most / important, ye® / wel©ome is all / we gots.
Course you can’t take it when you’re / gone that
four-lettered wo®d – ‘it’s said that folks who marry / for money’, (y)our man
©in (m) / (st) and just plain / uttered it better towards the end of the
‘®emembe®an©e’ at (y)our man Sha Sha’s putting-the-fun-in-fune®al (which (y)our
(wo)man H®isSue deemed ‘good but a little / long’) two weeks ago tomorrow,
‘eventually / earn it’ before during and after comparing himself to the winner
of the next day’s Super Bowl and concluding (t)his spee©h by going ‘I’m going /
to Disneyland’ – and as always befo®e dur®ing and afte® someone ®IPs it’s
‘let’s enjoy each other’s company in this life’ befo®e dur®ing and afte® we all
exit (t)his Dog and Pony Show in a pinewood box as we do, ‘throw me’, (y)our
man said it better to (y)our (wo)man H®isSue earlier this week before during
and after being aksed by (y)our (wo)man the(ir) Ma Noslou© where it is exactly
that (y)our man ©in would like to be after getting buried before during and
after RIP’ing up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here as
we do, ‘in the Pet Semeta®y out back’ in Luksvegas,
innit Mr. King, and nodding as we do towards the Western end of the (ir)
Noslou© lawn, the one that falls precipitously towards the beach and the Ottawa
®ive®, and the Final ®esting Pla©e over the years and de©ades of no end of
family pets, local ©hipmunks killed by the same, and even a memo®ial ®o©k
dedicated to the memory of (y)our man the Mighty Quinn the Eskimo Yoho the
family malamute from back in the 20th be©ause magnifi©ent,
©including (t)his spee©h is all / we gots.
And counting forwards / and backwards as we do it’s at
this sleek Bridgehead ©offee In©. edition in O-Town’s tony New Edinburgh
neighborhood that (y)our man ©in finds himself hulk-smashing away at (t)his Take
This Thing Ba©k to Balti-memo®es and w®ite / ‘em up as we do – two weeks to
the day before during and after he was after doing / the same but similar in a
funky ©afé in Montreal, or ‘Mont’ you used to call it better innit Jon Floyd of
the Weston Floyds, ‘®oyal’, before during and after (y)our man the(ir) uncle
Llewop’s putting-the-fun-in-funeral the next day - of (t)his TGIFF®iday
morning, innit G, before during and after his much-delayed massage from (y)our
(wo)man the(ir) masseuse the beautiful S., whose place-of-wo®k just down the way
on Bee©hwood Avenue from where he is now will be the fourth place-of-wo®k that
four-lettered wo®d that the two have transacted business, in between the ©OVID
that five-lettered wo®dle and (y)our (wo)man the(ir) masseuse being a
millennial and all / that and into the gig e©onomy and all / that and changing
employe®s and ©lients both morning noon and night be©ause millennials,
TGIFF®iday morning is all / we gots.
Course (y)our man ©in has been after coming to this
B®idgehead In©. edition before during and afte® (t)his ©ameo up on out on up on
out on up on out on up on out on (t)his Dog and Pony Show, and more . than /
once, B®idgehead In©. apparently bought
up by a ®apa©ious ©onglome®et as of late be©ause ®apa©ious, according to
(y)our (business, )man the(ir) b®other-in-law the retired business man, ‘I’m
not a businessman’, (y)our (business, )man Jay-Z humble-brags it better, ‘I’m a
business, man’, and it has become one of (y)our man ©in’s many se©ond-favo®ite
se©ond-favo®ite home-away from homes as we do be©ause sleek that five-lettered
wo®dle, and well-lo©ated right
at the corner here of O-Town’s tony New Edinburgh and ®o©kcliffe
neighborhoods both be©ause lo©ation lo©ation lo©ation, and a ten-minute walkies
to boot from (y)our man ©in and the(ir) sister Noslou©’s high school Alma Mate®
from back in the 20th – and where not incidentally (y)our man ©in
parked his vehi©le don’t
let the Suba®u Fool You earlier today be©asue f®ee / pa®king as we do
be©ause skint that five-lettered wo®dle and ©heap / as hell both – ‘Ashbu®y
Ashbu®y’, as (y)our man the(ir) Da Noslou© ®IP used to call the school (f®ee !
flog, the best money that he (n)ever / spent) before during and after dropping
us off at school as we do back in the 20th, ‘ ®a ®a ®a ‘, the best money that he (n)ever /
spent is all / we gots.
It was six months or so today – give or take six /
months as we do - of a TGIFF®iday not (un)like this one that (y)our man ©in was
after hulk-smashing away at (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoi®es
and w®ite ‘em up
, innit G, before during and after attending a guided / tour of the military personel-populated
and military-maintained area of the beautiful local Beechwood
Pet Semetery (hooker please, -id.) just up / the road from here, innit Mr.
King, be©ause a guided tour arranged by (y)our (wo)men the (wo)management
ma©hos at wo®k that four-lettered wo®d, ‘poli©ia ?’, the kid of central
American descent aksed it better of his mother at that mall in Mont ®oyal a few
years back before during and after videeing (y)our man ©in, flanked by two
military folks in unifo®m as we do and on our way / to lunch, innit ®ich, ‘no’
the mother replied to her kid, as she eye-balled us up / and down as we do,
‘ma©hos’, and she of all people recognized / the difference be©ause ©anadian by
way of ©ent®al Ame®i©a, ma©hos is all / we gots.
Course a
(wo)man is the same as a man – ‘I think about a man’, What Would Ja©k Say as
the cantanke®ous writer in the James Brooks ®om-©om As Good As It Gets
before during and after being aksed how he writes (wo)men characters so / well,
‘ and I take away reason and accountability’ – when it comes to (wo)management
, ma©ho / or othe®wise, in other words Publi© Enemy Numbe® One. ‘I (wo)manage’ - (y)our man the(ir) ®ugby
©lub tight-head prop (wo)mansplains the same to who(m)ever will listen (no one
/ listens) and apropos the whys and hows of how it is that the only wageslaves
even remotely capable of (wo)managing others never consider or are considered
for the same be©ause thankless, while the most spe©t®um-y of us inevitably try
/ and fail to do just that - ‘to show
up’, it’s along the lines ‘why is it that the people with kids’, (y)our man ©in
will let / loose in a spe©t®um-y moment, (wo)manifestly shouldn’t, ‘while the
people who don’t / should ?’
Still / and all, (y)our (wo)man ©in (hooky please,
-id. stick to one / p®onoun, it’s complicated / enough already, ‘I walked into
a ‘co-ed’ washroom at ©lub Midd’, (y)our (wo)man ©in tried and failed to
(wo)mansplain (that’s enough, -id.) the same better to who(m)ever will listen
(no one / listens) and apropos the time that he did just / that a few years ago
down in the 802, innit B®assapalooza, ‘saw a ©o-ed at the sink washing / her
hands, pani©ked, and walked straight / out’ be©ause befuddled) tries / and
fails to get along with ma©ho (wo)management at wo®k that four-lettered wo®d as
we do be©ause ‘working hard’, (y)our man the elevenquarantween lotha®io
character in Amy Sederling’s Fast Times
at Ridgemont High played by
Roy Romano akses the ®ed-hot Jennifer Jason Leigh character in that movie better, before during
and after of course inadvertently kno©king her / up in the film as we do
be©ause Hollywei®d bathos, ‘or hardly / wo®king ?’ – attending the ma©hos’
(in)voluntary cemetery guided tours for ©ivilian employees and fat-biking on
the golf course in the winter last Thi®stday, and they never get any / more or
any / less thi®sty be©ause ®egime ze®o and all / that, and ®ockin’ bowling and
all / that be©ause it beats / wo®king, or anyway for those team-building
afternoons at least – but mostly / fails, ‘try’, (y)our (I®ish)man Samuel
Beckett wrote it better and apropos all that we can any of us ever / do before
during and after our ©ameos up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on
up in here in this Dog and Pony Show, ‘fail.
Try again, fail / better’, befuddled is all / we gots.
Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back
to Balti-memoi®es and w®ite /em / up .
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