2016-04-24 Some habits die hard / though they probably should.

 2016-04-24  Some habits die hard / though they probably should.  

Or thereabouts, line is from Band of Robbers, a latter-day version of the Mark Twain Huckleberry Finn story.  What it is is that your man Huck Finn and his sidekick Tom Sawyer are updated to be millennial ©ops and ®obbers, quite literally, your man Huck (Tom ?) a local ©op, and his BFF Tom (Huck ?) just out / of prison.  They reunite, Blues Brothers-style, outside the local penitentiary, only this time it’s not the Bluesmobile, a converted police car, driven by Elwood that comes by to pick up his fare, brother Jake, but policeman Huck (Tom ?) driving an actual police car.  A whole series of picaresque (b) / (m) / (s) / (gl) and just plain / adventures ensue, whole series of picaresque (b) / (m) / (s) / (gl) and just plain / adventures ensuing is all / we gots.

Tom’s / the cop, of course, why doncha read / the books before reviewing the movies based on / the same -id., Shakespeare ?  Your man’s Shakespeare’s birthday and death day both is today, 400 years after the fact of one / of them, he shares this rare-enough coincidence of birthday and deathaversary both the same day with David Bowie, a month earlier, your man Shakespeare a mere 51 years old when he ®IP’ed, you better get busy living and / or hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and the latter-day Adventu®es of Huck Finn, buster, or get busy / dying, ‘get rich’ your man 50 ©ent titled his album better, ‘or die / tryin’, getting rich or dying / tryin’, getting busy living and / or hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and the latter-day Adventu®es of Huck Finn or getting busy dying, buster, is all / we gots,

Movie jumps the shark when it  makes Tom / a ©op, what happens to ©ops or anyone who carries on like this in the movie isn’t that he spends his brief time after all of his and Huck’s (s) / (b) / (m) / (gl) and just plain / adventures in the big house smiling and getting visits from his -ex cop partner, but something(s) far / worse, something(s) far / worse is all / we gots.  Mind you, Supe®girl Melissa Benoist plays the pa®amour and -ex cop partner, so all / is forgiven, The End.

Course your man the humble / humbled / humiliated narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Supe®girl – affected here because of the costume of the same worn by la Bella Bet at ©lub Midd that was one of the Top One Halloween costumes / ever, ‘I’m not?’ Cin croaked it better at the time or shortly thereafter when we (you mean ‘the royal we’ as we do, -id.) woke up in JMT’s bed in JMT’s bedroom in For®est Dorm to find La Belle, thinking that Cin was JMT sleeping in his rubber-sheeted bed, slipping into something more comfortable, and then after going on for a while about the events of the evening, and then telling Cin / JMT that ‘you’re not much / of a host’, innit JMT – has been after getting into a series of picaresque series of (m) / (b) / (s) / (c) / ® / (gl) and just plain / adventures of / his own as of late, down in Mississauga, ‘we’re hurtling as a species’ Cin said it better of the same, driving home this after with his M and P and passing and being passed by at least 20,000 carbon-monoxide cars and trucks in and around the GTA / Greater Toronto Area on the way to O-Town, ‘towards / extinction’, hurtling as a species towards extinction is all / we gots. 

Good times, if ©in was a real t®ee hugger like ©lub Midd – ‘how can you tell the other ©lub Midd graduate at a ©ocktail party?’ the old New York City saw and joke akses it better, ‘(s)he’s the only other one wearing / sweatpants’ -  he would simply refuse to subject himself to that kind of traffic /  our human species hurtling towards extinction ever / again, matter of fact he would refuse to attend any of these meetings held in industrial parks ever / again.  

But reader still / he goes, the ©ompany gets grand-fathered from the current El Nino and Global Wa®ming and our human species hurtling towards extinction because relocated to the same industrial park 40-some years ago, before we affected to realize that driving cars pointlessly around and human species hurtling towards extinction is / bad.  ‘Imma give you a brief story about / myself’ Cin said  it better / worse this mourning (‘morning’ -id., you d®ama queen) to his fellow Di®ectors at the Board Meeting, only it was ‘I’m going to’, before doing just / that, desperate to prove to his new frenemies that he’s not / a ©arpetbagger, giving you a brief (oh please hooker you’re running out / of pixels, and the comma key on your keyboard / is busted from so much hulk-smashing -id.) story about / myself, desperate to prove to his new frenemies that he’s not / a ©arpetbagger is all / we gots. 

‘®ookie mistake’ Cin offered up as an excuse worse this mourning (oh please Mr. Hist®ionics it’s / ‘morning’ -id.) for showing up to the ©ompany meeting sans the co®porate do©uments sent to him earlier in the week, seeing as he forgut them innit Floyd, in his briefcase (oh please hooker, it’s your security blanket, like Linus from Peanuts -id., or more charitably perhaps that mesh bag full of chainmail armor that Robert de Niro’s assassin-turned-Jesuit novi©e in Roland Jaffe’s The Mission hauls over all of those waterfalls because repentance, and for the same / reasons, only for chain mail armour cinsert not hulk-smashing away cinstantly at this Take This Thing Back to Batimore me-moirs and ®epentance ) at home before / the trip, forgutting them co®porate papers in his briefcase is all / we guts.

Mind you, it couldn’t have been much of a pi©aresque series of (m) / (b) / (s) / (c) / ® / and just plain / adventures if this is the third cinsecutive edition of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimo®e me-moirs and pi©aresque series of (m) / (b) / (s) / (c) / ® / and just plain / adventures in as many days that he’s been after hulk-smashing away at - ©in wasn’t even after heading to the Lo©omotion strip club (what?  that’s what / it is -id.) last night, as is his wont, during these ©orporate / ©ompany week-ends after another in a series of meetings yesterday after and evening, ‘what the ^%&* else is there to do?’ he aksed it better of ®elatives, who seemed to know of his previous visits to the same, ‘to do in this / industrial park?’, only it was without the ‘PG’ Ned Flanders says it better of the same in The Simpsons, ‘13’, f-bomb, and it wasn’t ‘this industrial park’, but ‘around / here ?’ – or could it have been, this third cinsecutive edition of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimo®e me-moirs and pi©aresque series of (m) / (b) / (s) / (c) / ® / and just plain / adventures in as many days is all / we gots ?

‘Dear Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Dia®y’, Cin thought to himself better earlier this after, and, well, he forgets / the rest, driving four hours from the Big Stink to O-town - ‘and playing hogs’ Malcolm MacDowell’s Little Alex calls the same better in Kubrick’s take on Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange better, ‘of the road’ with the other 20,000 vehicles (he’s not kidding, ‘we don’t’ Cin said it better yesterday after apropos the endless / vehicular traffic, ‘deserve to cinherit / this ea®th’, only it was ‘inherit’, and it was ‘ earth’ – can do that to what’s left of / his mind, ‘I’ve driven in louder’ he busted the shops better of and to his D®iving Miss Daisy passengers, his very own M and P (for shame, -id. for the ®e©ord, ©in gets away with these lines from all across the Spe©t®um about 25 % of the time because funny but doesn’t notice because the Spe©t®um), who promptly on departure for the five-hour drive this after put on their earbuds and / or started reading / the papers as ©in drove in utter / silence, driving in utter / silence is all / we gots, ‘ / hearses’, driving in louder / hearses is all / we gots, ‘it’s like driving in’ he said it better  to the waiter at the dinner place (f®ee flog ! for La Favo®ita Italian Ristorante, right across the street from the Sca®lett Letter building, innit I®on Mike) he ate with his M and P ate after this brutal trip, of the hi-speed nonsense driving and passive-aggressiveness of the same, ‘a Fo®mula One race’ driving in a Fo®mula One race is all / we gots.

‘Psycho Killer’ David Byrne and the rest of the Talking Heads aks / sing it better in their song of the same name ‘qu’est-ce que / c’est?’  Even though ©in only very recently just videed and then reviewed a Coulson’s Notes version of that latter-day film version of The (m) / (gl) / (b) / and just plain / Adventures of Huckleberry Finn – only it’s just ‘The ‘Adventures’ , and come to think of it , wasn’t it The Adventures of Tom Sawyer , innit Mr. Twain ? ‘sometimes I think’ his Ma said it better earlier this after following the last of the ©ompany meetings, looking for the top of a Tupperware container, ‘I’m losing / my mind’, losing / my mind looking for the top of a Tupperare container is all / we gots  - he swears up and down as is his wont as of late that he’ll be after videeing less films during the course of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and losing / my mind, but audeeing more / music, videeing less films during the course of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and losing / my mind, but audeeing more / music is all / we gots.

What gives ©in’s empty p®mises to videe less but audee more a little more heft than his usual empty p®omises is the fact that your man the TV set Sam Sung (Samsung, ‘Sam Sung’, ‘get it?’ Brad Pitt’s Detective Mills akses it better of his wife played by the divine Gwyneth Paltrow, in David Ficnher’s Seven, ‘got it’ she answers cute ‘good’ Mills ends this unending cuteness with a kiss in the movie on Paltrow’s divine lips, and / or ‘Sam Sung’ like ‘Sam Wise’ from The Lord of the Rings, innit JRR Tolkien)  is after facing an oblique angle now following ©in’s capitulation last week to the forces of modernity and unlimited wireless cinternet (oh please hooker -id.) and subsequent moving of the TV set to allow for the hardware cinstallation (oh please hooker it’s ‘installation’ -id.) of / the same up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up up here in / the condominium.

SFW, innit Jenke, SFW is all / we gots.  What does the oblique placement of your man Sam Sung the TV set have to do with the price / of eggs (no it’s the price of something(s) else, that / aphorism -id., why doncha goggle it Sergei Page ) ?  Well nothing other than the fact that it will give your man the humble / humbled / humiliated narrator of this Take this Thing Ba©k to Baltimore me-moirs and (s) / (f) / (b) log some kind of whiplash to videe any kind of DVD movie at that angle, some kind of whiplash to videe any kind of DVD movie at that angle is all / we gots.

Thank you for reading (t)his  Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and some habits die / ha®d.