2016-07-10 hand / of god

 2016-07-10         hand / of god  

 

It’s not every day that you get to videe the hand / of god, innit god (hooker please, -id.) but isn’t that what we just videed during the overtime bit of this Eu®o Cup ®oundball final match, between host nation F®ance and your man Po®tugal, when a handball was called against the French defender, when in fact it was your man the Portugese Man-of-Wa® striker whose hand the ball / brushed just outside the 22 (oh please hooker that’s / ®ugger -id., it’s called the penalty area .

 

Course the first and most cinfamous act of hand of god was when your man the Argentinian Diego Maradona was not called for the same infraction – matter of fact Cin thinks that Maradona might have hand-balled it into / the net ? –but though this most recent example did not result in an immediate goal, Portugal did in fact just win this game, in the first bit of overtime, and that without your man ®inaldo, injured !

 

Cin loses little sleep worrying about ®oundball – matter of fact this as-usual scoreless final match put him to sleep before, during, and after his post-dinner snooze, as expected – but he supposes that it’s good d®ama, b®ead and ©ircuses while Europe / implodes and the rest of the globe isn’t breaking any records either, ‘ an unflushed’, (y)our man(iac) the actor Charlie Sheen calls (t)his corner of this dog-and-pony show better in his rockumentary on Netflix.com as we do good, ‘toilet’, d®ama, b®ead and ©ircuses is all / we gots.

 

Good times, there’s an average age of 23 years old on the Portugese team, and not to put too fine a point on it but few of the players appear to be Portugese- and / or French-born, but still the Eu®o Cup yet another distraction, ‘they won the heart of the country’ the bit©hy commentator says it better of the French T®i-Colores and their 10 and 0 record against Portugal until today’s match, ‘but tonight they broke / their hearts’, mixing both metapho®s and possessives, or whatsit when you mix up singular vs. plural – little help, is it quantifier ? -  mixing both metapho®s and possessives is all / we gots.

 

Course ®oundball the sport of gentlemen played by hooligans and its red-headed step-child ®ugby the game of hooligans played by gentlemen, the latter sport which came into being when, like Freddy Krueger of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies - ‘ the bastard son’, according to one of Freddy’s victim’s parents, ‘of a thousand / maniacs’ – a socce® player by the name of Webb Ellis at the ®ugby School in England as legend has it, decided that all of this running and pon©ing around was no good, picked up the ball instead and delivered  hopefully the first st®aight-arm in history. 

 

‘I did a great thing’ your man the Wimbledon finalist says it worse during this bit of binge-watching of TSN / The Spo®ts Network because Eu®o Cup 2016, of his loss today, and then as though to ensure that we all know that the first humble-b®ag was no / accident, ‘I did / great things’, and now off goes TSN and the finalist both into the TV atmosphere again until the next Eu®o Cup and / or ®ugby match, GIGO – Garbage In Garbage Out – is all / we gots.

 

Course ®ugby will be represented in the upcoming Olympi© Games in Rio de Janeiro, but in its sevens form, where seven players as opposed to the usual fifteen ponce around for seven minute halves as opposed to the usual forty.  Cin blames ADD – attention deficit disorder – for the truncated version and, wait, what, what was he on about, he himself often distracted and distraught nowadays due to the t®avesties and what not (that’s enough -id.), oh yeah ‘you have ADD” one of the members of Cin’s own ®ugby Club  exe©utive said it better to another at last TGIFF®iday’s meeting of the same, innit G, ‘just like / I do’, ADD just like I do, wait, what, what was he on about, oh yeah, is all / we gots.

 

®ugby Club Exe©utive Meetings are big shot – ‘if you want to come and see who really runs / this ©lub’ Cin blurted it our better last year at training to his fellow ®uggers before one of the monthly meetings of the same last year, ‘come to the Exe©utive meeting / tonight’ – if, that is, you think that big shots meet for the same at 7:00 PM of a TGIFFriday July evening at suburban homes, innit G.

 

‘It must slay you’ Cin blurted it out better to the owner of the house and Rugby ©lub fellow-Exe©utive member during the course of the meeting, ‘to have to live / out here’, ‘out / here’ being both the suburb / in question and the location of the meeting, as well as the home of ®ugby Club’s current nemesis, a loatheful suburban club whose leadership and membership both leeched the best of Cin’s ®ugby Club’s players at the beginning of this year, crippling both ®ugby ©lub and the sport in general. 

 

‘They’ll be clothes-lined’ Cin said it better during the meeting, of these tu®ncoats, and the type of tackle – arm outstretched like, well, a clothesline, it’s a high tackle, a di®ty tackle to make / a point – sure to greet them for their treachery, before, during and after the match and first meeting of the turncoats’ current and former Clubs, ‘and they’ll know that they had it / coming,’ clothes-lined and knowing that they had it coming is all / we gots.

 

Good times, if it was ®oundball (it’s ‘soccer’ but he cannot bring himself / to hulk-smash its’ name, -id., or ‘futbol’ if you’re of Eu®opudding / extraction, ‘footy’ if you’re from / the B®exit nation and / or Australia), a few defections would make little / difference – if loyalty and p®ide don’t count, ‘and you better hope / they don’t’ Marci Gay Harden’s character Vera says it better to Gabriel Byrne’s Tom Regan in the Coen brothers’ criminally underknown film Miller’s Crossing after he tells her that an acquaintance is alright, ‘if looks and brains / don’t count’ - so legion are ®oundball’s players’ numbers in O-town and its / suburbs.

 

 

Wait, what, what is he on about, ‘I don’t understand / what’ Cin gets aksed / told all of / the time after one of his blu®ts or another, ‘does that / mean?’, and yeah, well, that makes two / of us. 

 

More to come, much much more prolly, ‘horror violence’ this film promises / contains apparently, according to the wa®ning, horror violence according to the wa®ning is all / we gots.      

 

Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and hand / of god.