2014-10-20 Pepsi

2014-10-20          Pepsi

                'I have one word for you' Benjamin's father's friend says it better to Dustin Hoffman's Benjamin Braddock, the graduate, in the Mike Nichols’ movie of the same name from back in the 20th, 'plastics.'  'I have one word for you' Cin said it better to your man Scratchy the cat, this after Scratchy and / or your man Itchy the cat decided that, as reward to their roommate - your man Cin - for making the cindominium all kind of spic / and span just hours ago, they would piss / on the bed, just as one of them did months ago on their first night / in Luskvegas, 'burlap'.  Good times.

                Course now your man Scratchy sits next to Cin at his writing / eating / only table, acting as cinnocent as the day / he was born, all kind of bewildered as to why Cin is giving him / the high hat.  Good times, 3 loads of laundry in a night might be the new House Arrest / the Horror record, though needless to say Cin's done some mad / laundry up on out on up on out up in here as of late, 'a little macabre' Cin said it better after his latest round of RIP wardrobe wrangling, he has cinherited as of late 2 suits, 4 pairs of dress pants, and several natty jackets following the funerals of two family members and friends, though he left the socks, at the latest dressing, Cin took / the handckerchiefs.

                'And what' - Cin akses it better now to the ever-staring Scratchy the cat, more shameless in his insolence than even Cin on his benders     (and cinsolence -id.), and Ssratchy's 'wild', Roger Waters and the rest of Pink Floyd sing it better, 'staring / eyes' - 'is your major / malfunction, Private Pyle?'.  He gets no reply of course, the cats pissing their way towards / the Burlap Sack.

                It's too bad, the day up to that point had been something less / than cintolerable, 'I don't like Mondays' Bob Geldof - who played Pink of course in Alan Parker’s Pink Floyd the Wall the movie, and who as the burnt-out rock star about to go all kind / of ballistic, 'wanna take’  the groupie in the movie akses it better to the disinterestd Geldof's Pink, 'a bath?', was both subject and object of the aforementioned lyric from that movie - and the rest of the Boomtown Rats sing it better in their song of the same name, this time channelling a first-person shooter before first-person shooters became altogether too / common, 'I want to shoot / the whole day down.'

                Alice Munro might have written her early short stories on her way to the Nobel Prize last year 'between loads / of laundry', or the story might be apocryphal, but this love / hate BFFrenemy business with the cats is getting out / of cintrol (‘control’ as it pertains / to ©in -id.), and though cats of course are not / children, unless you happen to be the mother of your men Itchy and Scratchy / the cats, 'you'd make' relatives weary of waiting say it better to Cin as of late, 'a good husband', where it used / to be 'father'.  Ouch, they may be right, between the drugs and the booze and the fappening and the various cinherited genes and mayhem and madnesses, Cin seems to be in no kind / of rush to the altar.

'You dig the ditch' Cin said it better to a cousin as of late, appropos of consequances and cinsequences, and borrowing from the Army's playbook, 'that you're going to die / in', it's a PG-13 version of sleeping in the bed / you made, Cin likes the military take on it / better, it's more / brutalist, more brutalist is all / we gots.

                Sir Bob Geldof and his Rats might not like Mondays, and ‘Machete’ the eponymous (hooker please –id.) character of the Robert Rodriguez movie of the same name says it better, ‘don't / text’, and Cin don't / share, but as of late he is able to whinge to his colleagues more about the plight of his M and P, he spent a good ten minutes of the same this after with a colleague whose M and P were in the same bind.  'I was born here and I'll die here' Dylan sings it better, 'against / my will,' but surely, Cin aksed it better of his neighbor at work,  'after two million years as a species, we've figured out something better' - here he gesticulated towards the last ten minutes of their cinversation, and the last two million years of homosapiens cameo up on out on up on out on up on this Dog and Pony Show, and the impossibility of knowing what to do - 'than this ?'

                It was a rhetorical question of course, 'we're heading' another relative wrote it better of the various and ongoing familial jackpots, 'into unchartered waters', to which Cin gave credit where credit is due for the bons mots, and then cintroduced a favorite of his own, 'we were entering', one of the title characters of Bruce Robinson's ' Withnal and I' (hint / spoiler alert, it's not / Withnal) says it better, 'the arena of / the unwell'. 

                'It's', the WWF - currently known as the WWE, after the World Wildlife Federation duplexed / chair-matched the wrestlers, and kicked their ass surprsingly enough / for its acronym back - ringside announcer says it better, 'showtime.'  Or was it 'let's get ready / to rumble', either way it works as a pre-game  or pre-anything slogan for those who need it, though Cin usually doesn't, 'I wake up every day' Chuck D and Public Enemy sing it better on the soundtrack of Spike Lee's 'He Got Game', from their song of the same name, 'with my game face / on', waking up every day with our game face on is all / we gots.

                Haha Cin lies / like a rug, it takes him an hour to get out / the cindominium of a morning, and that's if your men Itchy and / or Scratchy haven't left a gift for him to take elaborate counter-measures over before / he goes, taking elaborate counter-measures before we go is all / we gots.

                Or is it?  Was Cin's week-end really just all about / the elaborate counter-measures ?  Thanks fo aksing, matter of fact it wasn't.  After a bout of the aforementioned post-funeral wardrobe-wrangling, of a Sadurday morning, wherein Cin wrangled the aforementioned suits and, yes, slacks, he went to a Goodlife gym branch in the South-west End of town - as is his wont whenever he is unlucky enough to find himself in that neck / of the woods - and went for an hour run on the treadmill, and then baked himself silly in / the sauna, a habit which Cin misses terribly, and which he will take up again in earnest starting / tomorrow after work at another branch of the aforementioned Goodlife gyms, which if he hasn't done so already, Cin will give a good f®ee ! flogging (goflog ? glog ? -Id.) up on out on up on out on the pages of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore flog one of these days, for giving him so many hours of exercise and saunas and mad visuals over / the years, 'coffee', Cin answers more truthfully when he's aksed as of late the horroreasons for his trimmer aspect, ;and stress', but let's be honest, the twenty minutes saunas don't hurt / either.

                After this eventful Saturday morning and after, during the course of which Cin dropped one of his favorite horroRegime Zero lines - this one from entertainer Elaine Stritch, RIP, who after some decades on the wagon moved to Michigan from New York City, and then dropped / the teetotaller act, 'I dine with ladies / who lunch' in Michigan, Stritch said it better, 'and when you dine with ladies / who lunch, you need a glass / of wine' - to no apparent effect, Cin called up your man Iron Mike, and they went down to the Heart and Crown on Preston Street to goggle and google the ladies, while Cin drank the dreaded pints and pints and pints of Coke, 'is Pepsi / alright ?' the irate servers always aks irately, even paying for Iron Mike's beer tab so that Cin wouldn't feel like a dirty / worm.

                Course goggling and googling is his business / and business that night, dear reader, was good.  Cin has never known the demographics of who shows up at that bar - 'do you want' his team-mate aksed one of the diminuitive (i.e. under 6'2'' and 250 lbs. -Id.) bouncers one night, RIGHT before they all got kicked out for the same, 'a stool / to stand on?', innit JC - in the middle of a bunch / of office buildings, but show up / they do.  

                Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and Pepsi,