2014-12-05 (s)mother

2014-12-05          (s)mother           

                               

                'You were on your way to Buckingham Palace', writer Colm Toibin says it better before during and during an interview with Eleanor Wachtel on the ©B© / Mother ©o®p ®adio, speaking of what he was told by his M and P growing up in Ireland, and as a way to stave off Toibin's childhood airs / and graces, 'and you just happened to be dropped off / here.'  And 'you can't spell 'smothering'', Toibin says it better of the same, 'without 'mothering'.  That can't be / an accident.' 

                This falls into the 'you can't spell 'hello' without / 'hell'' / and others, The Category, 'some folks call it hell' Billy Bob Thornton's Slingblade says it better in his movie of the same name, 'I call it / Hades.' 

                It's a hell / of a season to be / ©ingle, amongst the jingle / jingle / jingle, innit Electrified J©.  Still, the cinevitable office Christmas party this after wasn't as bad as all that, or certainly less so than 'the sticky floor' event to follow next week promises / to be, 'that chocolate sauce' Cin said it better of the conficture that covered his dessert today, 'was more than / 100 %', meaning so thick that it couldn't / be, more than / 100 % and so thick that it couldn't be is all / we gots.

                Course all of this rich food makes a person feel like a dirty / worm, 'I won't have to eat tomorrow', (y)our humble(d) narrator of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (s)mother said it better before during and after cinsuming his chocolate dessert, 'either', he knows that his colleagues worry about his eating habits, going as he does from eating lunch to lunch with them in the lunch room at work without much / in between.  After cinhaling his main lunch, called 'the lunch box' - 'I thought it would be / three separate courses' Cin said it better after being served the meal's soup, salad, and sandwich all served on one plate - in about five minutes flat while everone else lingered over / theirs, choking and boozing and going on and on and on, he scarfed down the half of his neighbor's hamburger that she / hadn't for good measure, 'thanks' he burped at the end of it all.

                'Better' the obese diner Mr. Creosote says it better in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life to the obsequious French waiter played by John Cleese in the same, when aksed how was / the meal.  Cleese misconstrues the answer, getting all pleased with himself and his restaurant, before Mr. Creosote, seconds before literally exploding all over / the place, clarifies his answer, 'better get / a bucket.' 

                Cinsert the Joan Rivers, RIP, fingers down the throat gesture to cindicate pure disgust  / here.  Course you can tell a lot about people by how / they eat and socialize, innit Mr. Toibin.  Cin is after listening to Eleanor and Mr. Coibin - joined by Mary Anne Robinson (?) of the 'Gilead' novels fame - as he hulk-smashes away at this TGIFFriday edition of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (s)mother, innit G..  He saw a picture of the three at Eleanor's radio show web-site and clicked / away, though the picture did them / no favors, faces that are 'perfect' the slogan has it better - and one that Cin couldn't help but drop during his high school graduation 25th re-union as of late, correcting a young 'un after the alumni soccer game, who after scoring a goal against the high school team tore off his jersey and ran about / the field, classic round-ball showboating style, and then came up to Cin and Cin's mate, now a local TV and one-time radio host HA, after the game and went on and on about how his mother wouldn't believe that he had played a match on the same team / as HA, and how his (s)mother always said that HA had 'a face made /  for TV ' etc. etc., HA gets this kind of thing all / the time, as opposed to Out Come / The Cuffs and the silent alarm / for Cin - 'for radio'. 

                Poor showboating kid laughed nervously, and Cin later apologized to HA for the one-liner, though he surely couldn't not have used it / at the time, showboating kid laughing nervously, and Cin later apologizing for the one-liner, though he surely couldn't not / use it at the time is all / we gots.  Like Washington D.C., its capital city counterpart to the South, described better as 'Hollywood / for ugly people', Ottawa too is full of similar-looking fugly people, faces perfect / for radio (that's enough -id.)

                As his erstwhile boss slung back the specialty coffees - Spanish, Irish - and paid for the same for what he and the other boss call their 'minions' after lunch, Cin sat there and glared, the prices of horroregime zero like the weather these days truly goes 'less' the Bret Ellis Easton (sorry perfesser, had / to) book and movie titled itself / better, 'than / zero.'  'Lunch-box special lunch and chocolate dessert' the Visa ads edition of Cin's expenses today has it better, '$28.00 / coffee afterwards on the way back / to the office : $2.25.  NYT : $ 2.75.  Sitting through lunch under horroregime zero while everone else gets arseholed and refusing offers / of specialty coffees : priceless.', priceless is all / we gots.

                Good times, spending the last twenty minutes lost on the world / wide / web : priceless, who knew that Kristen Stewart was caught by the paparazzi cheating on Robert Pattison ?  Not this guy / until now.   

                Thanks for reading this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and (s)mother.