2016-07-18 ‘is that / the price?’

  2016-07-18 ‘is that / the price?’               

Good times, course it’s always easier to have / a party than ©lean up after one, ‘we had to send it maintenance staff’, the letter (!) from (y)our (wo)man the ©rusty old ©lub Midd dean of students threatened it better in her correspondence to their ©ollege ®ugby Club back in the 20^th before during and after a particularly raucous Thi®stday evening ©hoir Practice – yes even then it was  Thi®stdays and oh boy were they ever / Thi®stdays  and they never get any / more or any / less thirsty now because Regime Zero ‘off’, a colleague in the cubicombs says it better of the same 25 years later, ‘to TGIThi®tsdays’, innit G, only of course it’s ‘TGIThursdays’, the way that he says it,  only it really it is / Thi®stdays, innit, the way that he says it, ‘my lungs’ you said it better innit ACG, of the ®egime ze®o version / of Thi®stdays, i.e. unquenchable, ‘are / watering’ - ‘in hazmat / suits’, sending in maintenance staff with hazmat suits is all / we gots.

 

Still even post-Bluesfest – ‘blues is / my business’ Garbage Mouth Jones (oh please hooker -id.) moans it better ‘and business / is good’ , innit Itt – (y)our man Cin finds himself still of this Just Another Mani© Monday evening on the balcony of the ©indominium, hulk-smashing away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and blues is my / business / and business / is good as we do for the second cinsecutive evening, cinstead of cinside, where he doesn’t have to use this $40.00 and used once ©at pod to lift up your man Tosh the laptop, innit cats, so as he can hulk-smash away at this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and fast and full / of mistakes, in something other than agonizing / pain (that’s enough, -id.), or at least ‘fast’, one colleague said it better to another of how her life was similar to her typing skills (no Don Rickles, the joke is the other way / around, -id. (s)he types like (s)he lives, fast and full / of mistakes) ‘and full / of mistakes’, fast and full of mistakes is all / we gots.

Course what with modern technology and the ©loud and whatnot, it’s a poor wo®kman who blames / his tools, and today a person who is after hulk-smashing away at his Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and the ©loud and whatnot can usually rely on height-enhancers other than a $40.00 and used-once ©at pod, though at least it’s earning / its keep this way, innit cats – ‘what kind of policy’ Cina aksed the terrified local petstore owner / operator about the store’s return policy  when it comes to $40.00 and used-once, or, far more common, $40.00 and used for a month and then shredded into pieces by your man Tyson the cat, innit Tyson, ‘do you have for toys that break after / a month?’, or at least he hopes he put it as diplomatically / as that – and at least this Just Another Mani© Monday evening Cin dredged up somewhere in what’s left of his mind the fact that he has a usb / universal serial bus (you stick into the side of your laptop -id.) light for to partially light up (y)our man Tosh the laptop’s keyboard, so’s that this Just Another Mani© Monday evening edition of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore and you stick it into the side of your laptop is not as fast and full / of mistakes as usual, not as fast and full / of mistakes as usual is all / we gots.

 

Good times, behold / the (s) / (f) / (b) / (c) / (vl) logger, innit Itt.  He riseth up early in the mourning (oh please hooker -id., it’s ‘morning’ unless one of your fish died overnight, which none has as of late - ‘it’s hard’ Cin humble-bragged it better this past week-end of the cindition of / the ©indominium cinquarium, only it was ‘aquarium’ that he audeed, to a visitor of the same - the ©indominium that is, not / the ©inquarium (that’s enough -id.)), this Just Another Mani© Monday morning (better -id., ‘better’ Mr. Formaldyhyde says it better in Monty Python’s sketch of the same name in their The Meaning of Life as he prepares / to hurl , ‘better get / a bucket’) awakened by Option Four when it comes to waking up in the ©indominium options, namely the one the strike of oh-seven-hundred hours pounding, literally the pounding, noise of one of the five cinstruction sites’ (oh please hooker it’s ‘construction’, -id., ‘cinstruction is what they’re doing to / your shoulder) crews surrounding the cindominium, Options One to Three of course being in no particular order ©in waking up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for to attack each god-given day for its beauty and wonde®, innit god (never happens, or once / a ©intury -id.) ; Cin’s ZTE flip-phone buzzing loud enough to cinduce him out / his ©oma (it used to play ring tones but ©in is well beyond trying to coax it again to try to bring those glory days back / to life -id.) and then giving up after twenty five minutes ; and finally the Option of CIn’s crackbe®ry serving the same purpose, only that guy never stops buzzing. 

Oh yeah and your man Tosh  the laptop is also programmed to do / the same – endeavour to wake up your man Himself, Sleeping Beauty, at 0h seven hundred hours on every loving day of the week (®egime ze®o makes no distinction for the week and week-end, every loving day a parade of delights that you cannot / taste, every loving day a parade of delights that you cannot / taste is all / we gots), ‘here’s to five miserable months’ – What Would Jack Say better in Kubrick’s take on your The Shining, innit Mr. King  - and all of the irreparable harm / that it’s caused me’, but that Option too fails unless your man Tosh the laptop is screen-up and plugged in and powered-up and god knows what else, innit god, screen-up and plugged in and powered-up is all / we gots.

 

Good times, this Just Another Mani© Monday morning Cin went about his usual hour-and-a-half (or one hour if / when he sleeps through three or four of the four Options above) mighty are / his p®eparations, which today cincluded changing 25 % of the cinquarium water (it’s hot as hades up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out up here these days and evaporation / is rapid, also your men Teddy and Tyson the cats – their bi®th names - love to drink out the top of it, despite the presence of their $40.00 ©at ®eplacement water cooler, yes the first one / broke, with circulating water and pump) and then sweeping the remnants and detritus of his birthday / bluesfest week-end, ‘broom’ a real-estate agent called this level of anal but-not-really sweeping better, ‘clean’, ‘broom clean’ is all / we gots.   

“You don’t sweat’ Marge Simpson says it better to husband Homer of one of the benefits of ®egime ze®o, before during and after one of Homer’s periodic half-episode episodes of voluntolding / being forced to go on / the wagon, ‘when you eat / any more’, and though Cin hopefully never did the same - innit it ironic, innit Alanis – still he sweats of a morning after the night before and his mighty are / his preparations on his way to the bus stop and this in the sweltering heat, expecially since he’s been a one-a®med bandit as of late and as been doing precious little in the way of aerobic exorcise (he means ‘exercise’ ? -id.) and even more little (he means ‘less’ ? -id) sexercise, both of course replaced by mad emotional eating aka (m)eating / his How Does It Feelings.

tHAT’S WHY HE (stop shouting it’s bad / netiquette, -id.) brings an extra shirt / to the ©ubicombs of a mourning (he means, oh wait, it’s the ©ubicombs?  it’s ok, it / stands -id.), or at least thank god that’s why he did / today, innit god.  Good thing too as on the way to his desk, after playing one of his many daily heads I win-tails you lose F®iendo coin tosses - ‘call it’ Javier Bardem’s Antony Shugar threatens it better of his soon-to-be victims (or not) in the Coen brothers’ take on Cormac McArthy’s No Country for Old Men, giving them a 50 % chance at / the same, ‘friendo’ - ©in’s route-by-coin ©oss through the labyrinths of the ©ubicombs (heads means clock-wise at the first juncture after you exit / the elevator – ‘is the 9^th floor’ the big boss aksed him better on the ground floor of his 9h10 entrance, ‘on banker’s / hours ?’ - tails, counter-©lockwise and so on until he reaches / his destination, ©ubicomb 9B025) brought him smack-dab into a ©ubicombs informal meeting with his ©olleagues jawing in the ©ubicombs hallway, ‘how may people work at the Department of Justice’ a recently-RIP’ed employee of the same was once aksed, ‘about 60 %’, he quipped.

 

 Good times, course they jawed for a while about their respective week-ends – ‘I met somebody’ ©in lied like / a ®ug about his brief encounter with an i-something-carrying-twentysomething that he already went on and on and on about during last night’s episode of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and lying like / a ®ug, tho ‘not really’ he cinfessed immediately afterwards, lying like / a ®ug is all / we gots before during and after (y)our man Cin made it to his ©ubicomb 9B025 and changed / his shirt, The End.

Cinclusion

Eight years (hours -id.) later, Cin was after leaving the ©ubicombs, his long-standing 9-to-5 shift chosen partially to allow him to say that he has a ‘nine-to-five’ job (we wish he was / kidding -id.) and partially because after 15 hundred hours (3:00 PM -id.), which is quitting time for the vast majority of his bright-eyed and bushy-tailed colleagues, the d®ama in the ©ubicombs, which from 7h00 -15h00 is already extremely ®amped-up, thank you very much, gets even more ®amped-up, as upper management stands and sits around and bad-mouths everyone not present after 3:00 PM (that’s enough -id. P.S. Cin is not upper / management, he can barely manage / himself, ‘I manage’ a friend said it better of upper management’s needy whingeings and questions to that extent and pathological need to abuse / its power because beaten up and / or bullied in the schoolyard, ‘to show up / in the mou®ning’ ), (wo)managing to show up is all / we gots.

Good times, (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrato® of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and needy whingeings will be no more cindiscreet / than that, there is a reason that uppe® management doesn’t mind spouting off while ©in is still around after 3:00 PM, and that’s partly because he doesn’t spill the beans of an after the next mourning, not spilling the beans of an after the next mourning is all / we gots.

Anyhoo, off he went to his next appointment, after taking the red-and-white limousine – public transit, the Quebec edition, which travels up and down Wellington Street and past Pa®liament Hill and all that, and which CIn takes of an after, because of a mou®ning the god-damned ticket sensor makes all kind of noise, innit god, because you’re not allowed / ‘assupposed to get on a Quebec bus on the Ontario side iffen you’re not going to get off on the same side of the border, but in the after it’s okay because the sensor doesn’t know that you’re getting off on the same side (that’s enough -id., he takes one bus on the Ontario system of a mourning and a Quebec system bus in the after, it’s not ®ocket science and P.S. not everything is a / p®oduction) – back to the ©indominium, ©in drove to one of his many se©ond homes, amongst them of course the ®ugby Clubhouse  Twin Elm, his M and P’s place in Luskvegas, the ©ubicombs, Goodlife the gym(s) (f®ee flog!) and finally the actual place he went today, the House / of Pain (that’s enough -id.).

 

What it is is that, ironically enough, innit Alanis, there’s an office building where Cin has been after spending many an after, before during and after voluntolding for ®egime zero, a building which just happens to be kitty korner from the B®iarpatch, innit monsieur debonaire, the ®oach motel where we were all after living briefly like kings and cinsuming every substance known / to man, The Briar Patch is all / we gots.

 

And tho ©in knows that of all of the money and hours and afters – not necessarily in that order of beg®udgement though / probably, ‘is that’ Cin aksed the masseuse (ok ok it was a massue®m the masseuse / quit) disbelievingly after videeing the three-digit price on the Visa machine for today’s ‘treatment ‘ for his one-a®med bandit shoulder condition, and then when the answer was ‘yes’ putting back the twenty that he was about to give as a tip for the same, ‘the price?’  – that he’s been after spending in the House of Pain trying to rebuild his shattered pys©he (oh please hooker -id.) and body  (true, dat -id.), if any of the above come a cropper at even 30 % of the money and hours and afters spent, it will be well / worth them all, anything ever coming a cropper at even 30 % of the money and hours and afters spent being well / worth them all is all / we gots.

 

Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and behold/  the Fisherman