Course whenever someone tells you that ‘it gives me no pleasure to tell you this’, before during and after doing just / just that, (s)he’s probably / lying, but still / and all it gives Cin no pleasure to tell you that this Thirstday edition of this Take This Thing Back to Baltimore me-moirs and gives Cin no pleasure may result in a perennial member of the ©indominium permanent DVD ©ollection being relegated to the ®ecyling bin of h(er)story, being relegated to the ®ecyling bin of h(er)story is all / we gots.
Go(o)d times, innit go(o)d, Mars Attacks is
the DVD in question, ‘you’re an adult’ - What Would Jack Say to his wife in the
movie, played by Annette Benning, as he drinks in the Galactic ©asino
in Vegas and makes her watch, even though she’s after taking / the ©ure, after she protests / the same – ‘deal / with it’,
taking / the ©ure is all / we gots.
What it is is in Mars Attacks
is that the Martians surround planet earth and send down radio transmissions to
that extent, ‘the martians’, Benning’s character sha®es it better at g®oup,
‘heard our cries, and came down / to help.’
Jack, playing the role of the
President of the United States in the movie as we do, well as Annette Benning’s
gambler and soon to be was-band, akses his military / war cabinet what should
be done about the martians, and is convinced by the same that honey draws more
flies than vinegar, convinced that honey draws more flies than vinegar is all
we gots.
Rolling literally out the red
carpet for our new alien overlords, in the middle of the desert, replete with
television camera crews from all over the world, the U.S. military machos - ‘policia ?’ the young lad of South American
descent aksed his mother better before during and after videeing (y)our man Cin
the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Baltime-moires
and What Would Jack Say flanked by two military members from work that
four-lettered word as we do at that mall in Dorval, Quebec innit RL where we
were getting lunch because hangry before during and after that insane trip to
Montreal, ‘no’, (y)our (wo)man the madre answered before during and after eye-balling
us as we do, and coming to the conclusion that it was military folks and not
police, ‘machos’ – realize too late the error if its ways. When the head martian zaps a dove with its
raygun as we do, all hell / breaks loose, all hell breaking loose is all / we
gots.
Course we no longer televise
extraterrestrial events like these live, ‘how did they know that one of the
astronauts on the Challenger had dandruff?’ the set-up line of the terrible
joke about the crew members of the all-fated space (it was the Columbia, space
cadet, -id.) mission - the take-off and fiery end of which was videed live by
everyone on God’s green earth, innit god, and left us all scarred / for life,
expecially the eleven-teens at the time, scarred / for life is all / we gots -
has it worse, ‘they found her Head / and Shoulders on / the beach.’
Tim Burton directed this one,
‘Martians’ the newspaper (goggle it, we earthlings used / to read, and think)
headline projects what’s to come next in the film as we do, ‘to address / ©ongress’. Soon but
not soon / enough out come the alien ®ayguns,
and the white men congresscritters are RIP.
‘Not any’ – What Would Jack as
POTUS Say in the film – ‘more’, before during and after the martians annihilate
the U.S. ©ongress, and it’s no More Mr. Nice Guy, and the gloves
/ are off, and this after the Army General macho that five-lettered wordle played
by Rod Sterling (‘kill’ is your man the General’s, and really the entire
movie’s only memorable line, ‘kill / kill’ kill / kill / kill is all / we gots)
tries to console Jack’s POTUS for his mistaken earlier emo ways of welcoming
the martians onto our planet with open / arms, and by telling him that
‘everyone makes / mistakes’, everyone making mistakes is all / we gots.
Film is a ©omedy if you haven’t cottoned on to it yet, the
martians are all three foot nothing and puppets of some kind, or ©GI / Computer-Generated Imagery, three foot nothing
and puppets of some kind, or ©GI
is all / we gots. Soon it’s White House
Down / the p®equel, with your men the martians ray-gunning everyone
with a heartbeat in the place into oblivion, the
last group to burn down the White House in Washington, D.©. of course was the British ®edcoats, passing as Canadians, way back in the 19th
century (oh please hooker, goggle it -id.).
Course (y)our (Welsh)man the
crooner Tom Jones makes a ©ameo
in the film, singing his ‘It’s Not Unusual’ as we do at The Sands ©asino, prequelling the likes of Ziegfried and Roy and
Shania Twain and Celine Dion some decades later, ‘get a hacksaw’ Mr. Jones
pleads / stage whispers it better to Marge Simpson in The Simpsons
episode in which he similarly has a ©ameo,
and also sings ‘It’s Not Unusual’, but in which case Tom Jones is after being
kidnapped by The Simpsons’ town of Springfield local billionaire Monty Burns
and then chained to the stage and forced to sing / for Marge and husband Homer,
‘call / Interpol, anything.’
Interpol won’t help / you now,
these little martian bastards in Mars Attacks is all kinds / of
bloodthirsty, ‘Imma call’ the NYPD traffic cop in midtown said it better to us,
innit Cash after pulling us over in the 280 ZX with Quebec plates,
‘Interpol’. Your man Rod Serling’s Army
General (that’s ‘Twilight Zone’, douchebag -id., it’s Rod Steiger) in the film
is ray-gunned to a miniature size by our new alien overlords before being
squashed like a bug, along with most of the case and a bunch of ®andos similarly dispatched, ‘why can’t we all’ – What
Would Jack as POTUS aks it better in the money shot of the movie, ‘just get /
along ?’, all just getting / along is all / we gots.
‘It’s me’ your man the actor Jim Brown - playing
a Las Vegas greeter and former and possibly current boxing heavyweight champion
of the world and dressed like an Egyptian pharaoh as we do in the movie says it
better to a group of martians in the Nevada desert and getting ready / to
rumble with the same in the film because pugnacious - ‘heavy weight champion of
/ the world’. ‘All’s that any of us can
ever aspire to be’, (y)our man the former heavyweight champion of the world Jake
Johnson (?) said it better – in almost cinarguably the best and only piece of
advice that has ever been given / out / ever because GOAT / Greatest of All
Time, ‘words of wisdom’ – What Would Jack Say as John Torrence to imaginary Overlook
Hotel Gold Room barkeep Lloyd in Kubrick’s film version of your The Shining,
Innit Mr. King, before during and after being spoonfed the old warhorse of a cliché
that six-lettered wordler about (y)our (wo)men (wo)men, namely of course that ‘
you can’t live with ‘ em / you can’t live without ‘em ‘ - ‘words / of wisdom’, with the heavyweight
champion past or present qualifying his recent proclamation that the best thing
in the world for us to be, the only thing in the world for us to be, and he’s /
right, is magnanimous, ‘can afford to be / magnanimous’, magnanimous is all /
we gots.
At Sixes and Sevens as of late
– Plan A for Adult is the usual endless chaos and drama, ‘we take the ‘Human’
Cin said it better at lunch today in the ©ubicombs,
‘out ‘Human Resources’, only it was ‘out of’, and it was ‘they’, not ‘we’,
though as a matter of poli©y
Cin never refers to ‘they’ without knowing exactly who ‘they’ is , and where
‘they ‘ live, and where their children go to (that’s enough -id.), none of
which is the case of course in / the ©ubicombs,
‘I’ the hundred thousand a year (wo)manager answered Cin after he aksed why he
was being / canned at his previous ©ubicombs
gig and before during and after (s)he delivered / the news, ‘don’t / know’,
‘we’re all’ Cin said it better to his current ©ubicombs
neighbor last week, ‘just making it all / up as we go’ making it all / up as we
go is all / we gots.
Course Plan B for Blog – ‘blog
!’ read the arts-and-crafts sign that he and the rest of his fellow-sufferers
all had to arts-and-craft individually before during and after the Last Day of
the Ten Day at Rideauwood (free! Flog,
it worked!) as we do to show some hope that four-lettered word (hooker please,
-id.) for the future, ‘really ?’ one of (y)our (wo)men fellow-sufferers, all
hard-core veterans of war stories too touching and tough for the pages and
pixels so far of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and What Would
Jack Say (wo)managed to protest before
capitulating before during and after being shown the Crayons and glue made
available to the last-day survivors of the Ten Day because emo to make / our
signs - that is cintermittent, after making a terrible faux-pas two weeks ago
and putting the URL / Universal Resource Locator of this Take This Thing
Back to Baltimore me-moirs and URL at the bottom of an e-mail where it
didn’t belong, loaded with enough honesty to ring true but also enough poetic
license to defend against literal interpretation is all / we gots.
Course after damning the movie
with faint praise, who can resist the ‘Extras’ bit of the DVD’s splashscreen,
and playing ‘play’ for the fourth time in as many days. Not / this guy, Mars Attacks like all
of the DVDs in the ©indominium permanent ©ollection
will be after playing all night and all day in a bid to stay / put, after
playing all night and all day in a bid to stay / put is all / we gots.
Oh yeah, it’s ‘you’re an
adult’ – What Would Jack Say - ‘just / ©ope’, just ©oping
is all / we gots.
Thank you for reading (t)his Take
This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and all that any of us can ever aspire to
is to be magnanimous.
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