Sep 25, 2025 a good look in / the mirror

 Sep 25, 2025 a good look in / the mirror

What it is in Friday the 13th part deux mille huit - for the year 2008 back in the naughties of this horror classic’s reboot or rebirth (hooker please, -id.) of Jason Vor Hees because damn that boy is hard / to kill, innit monsieur deboanire , ‘tough way to go‘ (y)our (hit)man the hitman played by Ice Cube’s son Jackson O’Shea (?) says it better in Elizabeth Banks’ criminally underrated film Cocaine Bear . before during and after hearing about how one of his fellow partners in crime had bought it by falling out of a plane from high heights and then your parachute doesn’t open as we do, ‘ was that,’ (y)our (wo)man the(ir) Ma Noslouc aksed (y)our man her housemate and son Cin the humbl(e)d narrator of (t)his Take This THing Back to Balti-memoires and a good look in / the mirror last winter before during and after being dragged to / Starcite Cinema in Gatineau as we do to videe / the same and then videeing / it , ‘a true / story?’, she meant like / a rockumentary god love her innit god - is that (y)our man(iac) the anti-hero of the same Jason the human lawnmower Vor Hees is after slaying the latest group of elevenquarantween screamqueens and kings to make the mistake of heading up to Crystal Lake as we do morning noon and night, though in this one he manages somehow to catch / a glimpse of himself and a good look / in the mirror in all of his masked / and scar(r)ed glory between slayings, though of course the mirror like the beholder is all kinds / of broken and busted up because mirror mirror on / the wall, who’s the fairest of them / all,  a true / story is all / we gots.

Course when the likes of Friday the 13th manifests itself somehow on the Samsung 26 incher up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here as we do, you sort of have / to watch it when it comes on the television because ‘you see it’s alright ’ - WHat Would Jack Say as John Torrence in Kubrick’s take on your The Shining, innit Mr. King and apropos son Danny’s self-taught lessons on cannibalism that he saw on that rockumentary about the Donner Party ‘ (m)eating each other up’ as we do - ‘he says he saw it on / the television’, though not directly because GIGO / Garbage In Garbage Out and because they ate each other / up, a taxpayer rather has to be hulk-smashing away   at (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and a good / look in the mirror before during and after videeing this latest installment of big Jason V Hays taking out / all of (t)his hu(wo)man roadkill, mercifully coming in as we do at an hour and / a half running time, and that’s a lot / of running, as many fanboys and critics on the internets have been going on and on and on about, seeing as (y)our man-child JvS must have been after learning him some tricks at the Crystal Lake campground as we do before during and after avenging / his (s)mother (hooker please , -id.) in the first and second and third and fourth (that’s enough -id.) installments of (t)his franchise , and can now both run / and hide good times up at the lake innit Itt before during and after dispatching the latest slew of elevenquarantweenscreamqueens and kings stupid enough to get all kind / of licquored up as we of (t)his warm Thirstday night and they never get any / less or any / more thirsty before Regime Zero and then do it like they do on the Discovery Channel as Jason watches for a while and then stabs as we do, ‘point’, (y)our (holy)man Homer J. Simpson (that’s enough, -id.) as always begins and / ends his talk about birds and bees as we do with son Bart in their cartoon series of the same name, ‘ and / shoot’, the first and second and third and fourth cintallments of (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and a good luck in the mirror is all / we gots .

Local depaneur / garage staff member has a good line in Act One of (t)his bloodbath - before during and after being aksed by (y)our man the actual hero of the film because looking for his long-lost sister to put a poster of her picture up on the depanneur Commuity board as we do - pursing his lips together when describing an eccentric neighbor and making the sound a fish might make if taken out / the water as we do, (t)his bloodbath is all / we gots.

Other than that it’s mostly Jason doing what he does / best, innit monsieur debonaire, never mind Michael Myers, well, mind Michael Myers but don’t inflate / his ego as we do or else, or Freddie Krueger with all of PsyOps and his No Doze or whatever keeping all of the town’s elevenquarantweenscreamqueens and kings up morning noon and night and unable / to sleep becAUSE THE BASTARD SON, one of the parents OF (Y)OUR MAN fREDDY’S (That’s enough screaming, -id.) elementary school charges describes Freddy’s origin story better because his Moms and Pops and all of the other mental hospital patients doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel  mo(u)rning noon and night, not unlike (y)our man Cin before during and after the early part of (t)his week because ‘ the weeks fly / by’ in the COVID (y)our man Cin says it better to who(m)ever / will listen (no one / listens) (hooker please, -id.) and let’s be honest the COVID is with us / still, ‘but the days crawl’, ‘by Friday’ (y)our man Moprrissey sang it better live a few weeks / back at O-TOwn’s Folkfest 2025 / Can the Pogues be the same sans Shane RIP, ‘life / has killed me’,doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel is all / we gots. 

‘Jason’, (y)our (wo)man the found / sister in the film because liberated by (y)our man her good samaritan / of a brother in what the audience is tricked into thinking is the film’s eleven o’clock number and Final Girl as the shorthand goes in this version of Friday the 13th (wo)manages somehoiw to threaten (y)our man(child) (hooker please, -id.) big Jason V better in this nail-biting finale, ‘say hello to your mother’ and before during and after chopping (y)our man big Jason Vor Hees head clean / off and not for the first / or last time because built / to last and besides he comes out the water seconds later spoiler alert with body fully-sewn up and swinging as we do and  grabs the Final Girl a la Friday the 13th Part 1 from back in the twetienth , only in (t)jis new reboot the audience doesn’t get the 20th century consolation of videeing (y)our (wo)man the Final Girl and sole elevenequarantween (that’s enough, -id.) surviving in the next scene of that film resting in the hospital as we do before during and after lopping (y)our man Jason Vor Hees RIPs’ head clean / off as we do and then still getting drowned by him soon / after but then rescued by local Crystal Lake Fire or EMT I guess, ‘ in / Hell’, The End, this nail-biting finale is all / we gots.

Thank you for reading (t)his Take This Thing Back to Balti-memoires and a good look in / the mirror.