Sep 28, 2025 ‘ Could have bought / the bottle ‘

 Sep 28, 2025 ‘ Could have bought / the bottle ‘  

(y)our  (wo)man and fellow VIA rail-traveller All Aboard the mighty # 14 R train from Montreal to Halifax - forty-five minutes de Lay Guardia’ed right off / the bat from the get / go of its’ original departure time and therefore behind / the eight ball as we do but the engineer who told me before he died running / the train is trying hard / to make up for the de Lay Guardia from the sounds and the speeds of it by god, innit god, (t)his might be (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take THis THing Back to Balti-memoires and could have bought / the bottle’s last trave(b)logue  ever unless Thomas the Train Driver slows right the fuck / down, of (t)his Here Comes The Sun Day evening at eighteen hundred thirty hours or six thirty in in the PM for civilans, who appear few / and far between up on out on up opn out on up on out on up on out on up in here in (t)his car anyway because you gots to be a little nuts for all of (t)his rocking and rolling / and swaying - ‘for / the price’ by way of (wo)mansplaining her displeasure to the rest / of us just now at the apparent double digit (or at least one / hopes) price tag that came due for her glass / of wine in the drinking car as we do, ‘this court is well acqauainted with your stalling tactics’, (y)our man the Right Honourable though of course a little less / than honourable in the rest of / the story’ Judge Loren Little castigates the Chi-Town District Attorney of the same name in the immor(t)al film version of the great Scott Turow legal mystery of the same name Presumed Innocent, ‘ mister de-Lay Guardia ‘ becasue some mutual black-mailing going on there, de-Lay Guardia’ed is all / we gots.

Course the last time that  (y)our man Cin was after hitching / a ride as we do on the mighty Halifax to Montreal / and back VIA Rail Legendary Train # 14b Overnighter it was a month ago nearly to / the day, and on that trip heading South from Halifax - more specifially boarding he was at the tiny Mont Joli VIA Rail station in the middle of / the night it was becasue de-Lay Guardia’ed that train too to the tune of an hour and / a half from one in the AM to two thirty AM if you can believe it as we do, and where the best that we can do by way of publicity for the VIA Mont Joli rail station is that ‘this is not / a station stop’ but only a stop / sign, or anyway something to that / effect - and not as tonight North / from Mont Royal as we do, innit J Floyd of the Weston Floyds, and on that trip we had / a sleeping car because the Royal We and he surely doesn’t remember  the train lurching / and leaning left and right and all of (t)his rocking and rolling and swaying leading what appears to be the Train 14 R’s demographic of weekly / passengers inflating their shoulder-and-head stabilizing whatsits around their neck / and blowing because no more whiplash but this ain’t France’s TGV / Tres Grand Vitesse trains that bring you from gaie Paree to Nice in four hours flat and with a lot less bouncing / around than this, innit Jenke, ‘eating’, (y)our man Scarface mansplains what it’s all / about  it better in the immor(t)al de Palma movie of the same name, ‘ drinking, fucking, sucking’  all of (t)his rocking and rolling and swaying and eating and drinking and fucking and sucking is all / we gots.

Oh yeah and (t)his Via Video as (y)our (wo)man Dell(a) the laptop nicknames the train’s train Wi Fi connection better isn’t breaking any records either - ‘as in’, (y)our man the immor(t)al character actor and Coen brothers’ regular playing Johnny Gasparo in the Coen brothers’ criminally underknown immor(t)al film Miller’s Crossing mansplains the same better about the lack / of ethics displayed so far by the character playing Bernie Bernbaum in that film and played immort(ally) by (y)our man and fellow Coen brother regular John Turturro becasue never fuck with / the jesus innit Johnny Mo, ‘he ain’t got / any’ - but (un)fortunatley for you dear reader(s) and oh my brothers and sisters, the two (2) documents that make up in the(ir) entirety of the millions of pixels / and pages of (t)his Take This THing Back to Balti-memoires and could have bought /  a bottle for the price , namely the main blog document of the same name and the “ Spurts’ version and its’ red-headed stepchild evil twin document and where all the rest of it is stored the good the bad and the fugly, is both inbed with the browser (hooker please, -id., it’s imbedded) as we do, and not requiring a internet connection or whatevs in order to hulk-smash away at becasue saved off-line or whatnot at goggle inc.’s cloud factory , and  which is finally losing patience at goggle parent company Alphabet Inc. headquarterrs with (y)our man Cin goggle client for life and all of his endless videos and whatnot taking up too much of the spank bank (hooker please, -id.) goggle hard drive or whatnot, and who is nowhere near / organizized enough to upload onto or into or whatevs to the pixels and pages of this Take This THing Back to Balti-memoires and could have bought /  a bottle for the price  in (t)his liftime or / the next , ‘ I gotta get’ (y)our man the great and immor(t)al (that’s enough, -id.) actor Robert de Niro as Travis DIckle’s Taxi Driver’s wall art in Martin Scorcese’s film adaptation of Paul Schraeder’s screenplay in the film of the same name mansplains it better, ‘organizized’,  the good the bad and the fugly is all / we gots.

Course the last time that (y)our man Cin was after taking the Southbound # 14 R Overnighter VIA Rail Immor(t)al Legendary Train almost exactly a month ago to / the day , all of the de-Lay Guardias - ‘it was wild’, (y)our man Cin said it better to who(m)ever will listen (no one / listens) and apropos the hour and a half de Lay-Guardia that held up the departure of the Legendary and Immor(t)al # 14 R Train from the tiny Mont Joli PQ train station that Sunday Morning COming DOwn evening or rather Monday morning, from the already-challenging oh one hundred hours in the AM regular-scheduled departure time to the ‘Night of the Assisted Living Dead’ (hooker please ,-id.) as one of the members of SPal Tap calls his rock opera in the mochumentary reboot of the same name departure time of 2 thirty AM, ‘ you could see the train lights coming / South down the tracks  for almost the entire length of time of the hour-long de-Lay Guardia’  becasue straight tracks or wishful thinking or well-stoned by that hour between the hour itself and the hour and a half de Lay Guardia and all of the roaming in between in Joly Mount Joli and in the vicinity of which (y)our man Cin has spent esentially a third of (t)his life so far becasue The Beaches, or most likely and certainly of course a combianation of the three and we weren’t that bright innit DD to begin with - and with VIA they (un)fortunately are legion, were blamed on the actual owners of the train tracks themselves, CN or Canadian National railways becasue speed limits on our tracks they said and it’s slowing us / down that four-lettered word said VIA by way of (wo)mansplaining these chronic de-Lay Guardia becasue passing / the buck,, ‘ it was called the Night’, (y)our (faux English)man Nigel or one of his bandmates from the cinfmous metal rock music group Spinal Tap mansplains the same better in that recently-released Rob Reiner rockumentary of the same name part Deux, and what was the name of the rock opera that Nigel was after writing / the music for becasue still metal that five-lettered wordle but (b) / (g) / © / m / (f) / (s) and just plain / older now and at that age where in another classic line from SPinal Tap part Deux the candles cost more / than the cake becasue (b) / (g) / © / and just plain / older , ‘ of the Assisted Living / Dead ‘, straight tracks or wishful thinking and we weren’t that bright to begin with is all / we gots.

Still / and all and for all of the rocking and swaying and rocking and rolling and de -Lay Guardias and buck-passing and ha(s)teful speeds that make up the typical South to North or North to South Routes of (t)his Immor(t)al VIA Rail Overnighter Montreal to Halifax Number 14 R train - and (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take This THing Back to Balti-mempoires and could have bought the bottle for / the price has been after taking (t)his train back and forth and North and South since Christ was a cowboy, innit Electfied JC (hooker please, -id.) for decades - it still beats / the carmaggadeon that surrounds us otherwise and that we somehow choose the most of us as a form of transportation and that marred yesterday and this SUnday Mo(u)rning Coming Down both for (y)our man Cin becasue driving himself despite how you go on and on and on about the carmaggeadeon and all / that you hypocrite , ‘it’s not that this story doesn’t have a happy / ending’ (y)our man Cin and the rest of hu(wo)manity know it to be true about how carmaggadegon and car culture has destroyed and made most of North AMerica a parkign lot and the roads The Fast and The Furious Volumes One to Extinction, ‘so much as the story has already ended’, ‘so much’ (y)our (wo)man Avril Lavigne sings it better in her dirge of the samee name, ‘for my happy ending’ is all / we gots.

Dart break ?!

“You still’, (y)our (wo)man the VIA Rail ticket-puncher - conductor ?, they walk / the aisles of the train and go on and on and on about how to break / those special allegedly breakable train car windows in case of Emergency and if you’re (un)lucky / enough to be sitting in one of the seats near / the same , innit Alleged Lee - said it better to (y)our (wo)men the numerous sinners and 11 PM smokers riding the Legendary Overnighter Montreal to Halifax Train #14 R nom-de-rail The Atlantic up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up on out on up in here, ‘have a few / minutes’ before during and after the lot of us smoked one dart and then / another because midnight tokers and six hours minimum left to Destination Mont Joli and the last smoke break and as part of the same, though there may be one / more in Levis, P.Q., if what’s left of (y)our man Cin the humble(d) narrator of (t)his Take THis Thing Back to Baltiu-memoires and I’m a loser I’m a winner I’m a lover and a sinner I’m a Joker I’m a Midnight Toker’s hol(e)y like swiss-cheese-without the-cheese me-moires don’t fail me now  aren’t failing him now as we do because of all of the sleeplessness, cincussions, and pre-regime zero Bar Cars and we weren’t that bright, innit DD, to begin with, ‘his mechanism’s”, (y)our man one of the titular heroes of Bruce Robinson’s immor(t)al film version of his own me-moirs Withnal and I says it better in that film and apropos the drug dealer Danny come to peddle / his wares as we do, ‘gone’, and we all came marching back up / the stairs as we do becasue temprarily satiated, with the drunkest smokers between rounds and getting all / kinds of licquopred up in the Bar Car as we do bringing up / the rear and singing their version of God knows what outside to serenade the comelier smokers, innit God, or maybe that was / Levis, who knows, now the train’s going backwards, and not for the first or last time becasue ‘we took’ (y)our (wo)man the VIA Rail conductor (wo)mansplained the first of this evening’s de -Lay Guardias,  namely when the train from O-TOwn to Montreal earlier this after did this same routine of going / foward and then backing / up as we do, ‘the wrong / track’, midnight tokers is all / we gots.

Thank you for reading (t)his hol(e)y Take This THing Back to Balti-memoires like swiss-cheese without the cheese